What must have been a maid immediately dove towards me with her arms outstretched. I was somewhat taken aback, instinctively dodging out of the way, only to find her shaking hands wrapped awkwardly around my shoulders.
"Fourth Princess, it'll all be alright," she stammered, heaving slightly. "I meant… Your Humble Servant meant that everything would be alright." Her heart was surely pounding more than mine.
A pair of hands laid a cushion behind me, steadying it against my back. I must admit that it was soft beyond belief, and I almost wanted to slump backward just to imagine how falling into clouds must have felt like. Another court servant dangled a handkerchief by my face frantically, trying to bypass the maid that was inconveniently shielding him from me.
"Please don't take it too badly," the maid whispered. "If you feel faint, Your Servant will be here to catch you—catch Your Highness." If I hadn't known she was the one trying to help me from fainting, judging from her shallow breaths and flushed face, I would have presumed that she was the one in danger.
As a matter of fact, seeing the spectacle laid out in front of me, they must have expected me to be preparing a strip of white cloth to hang myself with once they broke the news. At best, they were predicting hysteria and a torrent of tears.
Why were they that set on perpetuating the stereotype of Southern girls being frail and knowing nothing but crying?
"I'm fine," I lightly patted the maid and brushed all the court servants aside to stand up. The sight of so many strangers fawning over me made me uneasy. Only, I momentarily forgot that my feet were both numb. Compounded with how I hadn't eaten nor drank the previous day, it led to a gasp as my legs gave away.
A set of small hands caught me, and I cast the maid an appreciative glance. She may have been a frightened sack of bones, but I was genuinely grateful.
"Greetings, honorable court officials and foreign warrior," I greeted the waiting men politely with a faint smile on my face, desperately trying to hide the cloud of flustered red from taking to my cheeks.
Obviously, neither the court officials nor the Sui ambassadors expected me to take it this well.
Even the towering Northern man who donned a battle scar across his forehead looked at me bluntly with his mouth slightly gaping open. Subconsciously running his hand through his untamed curly beard, he gave a few apprehensive nods, probably also thinking that I wasn't of the right mind and regretting why his court chose me of all people to wed their second prince.
But it was he who broke the silence.
"Dang!" His glare softened, and he cast me a look of approval. Even that one syllable betrayed his thick accent. "This princess is made for the North! She has none of that clinginess of a typical Southern girl!" A wide grin spread across his face, giving me a full sight of his decaying black teeth.
So this is what my future husband would be like, I thought. To be quite honest, it wouldn't be much of a change from if I wed Brother Liu. Speaking to both would be akin to playing music for a cow. It would be the same wordless nights by myself, just with an additional pinch of barbarism to keep me on my toes.
Before I knew it, I was sitting on a lavish wood carriage, and my uncle and aunt accompanied me in a smaller carriage behind mine. I asked the court officials to switch the two so that they could occupy the more spacious one, but it was apparently against imperial customs. Even the Sui ambassador shook his head no.
It was easy to see why people were willing to give up everything to enter the palace. Once I sank into the cushions of the carriage, I couldn't resist running my coarse hands over it to feel the surrealness of it all. Yet, at the same time, it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. The embroidered seat itself was probably worth my uncle's entire yearly stipend. For some worse off families, to even dream of owning something like this in a lifetime would probably be atrocious. To enjoy these materialistic comforts was sinful, and the guilt gripped me tightly.
For a breath of fresh air, I lifted the window curtain to catch one last glimpse of the past. Already, a crowd had gathered with pretty much everyone from this side of the town, and it took several armed guards to keep the ecstatic flock from packing closer. All around, people were pointing to the well-groomed horses and the opulent carriages, marveling. Even Brother Liu came out, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of the parade.
"Fourth Princess, are you ready?" For a moment, I didn't realize that they were asking me.
"We may go now."
With the sharp crack of a whip accompanied by a loud neigh, the wheels gave a creaking protest before the entire carriage began moving. I grabbed onto the sides, scared that I would be launched forward, but apart from the occasional bump, the ride was surprisingly smooth.
The chatter outside grew louder, and a child screamed "Princess!" as he pointed to my startled face that was peering from the window.
Already, Youshi, the aspiring apothecarist, was being forgotten.
Before long, the home I had known for fifteen years became no more than a speck in the distance. We turned the corner. This route was familiar. Soon, we would pass by the apothecary. Oh, the apothecary.
I thought I would be strong enough to at least bid goodbye. But as soon as the charred ruins came into view, my fingers slipped from the cloth curtain, and I buried my face into my palms. I couldn't face it. I couldn't even bear to look at it again.
When I figured we had passed the ruins, I looked out the windows once more to find the terrain in front of me to be completely alien. Oh, how small the world I once took to be my entire cosmos truly was.
The rhythmic tapping of hoof steps and the slow swaying motion of the carriage proved to be excellent inducers of sleep. My mind turned hazy, and the torrent of thoughts that I subconsciously pushed back before flooded into my mind.
Maybe my parents would be there to embrace me when I arrived. And perhaps I could stay a few days before…
The world gradually slipped from my consciousness.
When I woke again, it was to a cold voice and blinding sunlight.
"Fourth Princess, welcome to the palace."