Instinctively shielding the sunlight from view, I peeked at the surroundings from between my fingertips. The sun was perfectly positioned above the central guard tower, basking it with an untouchable golden glimmer that burned your eyes but kept your gaze. A few guards perched atop the wall, but they seemed more like toy soldiers that were there to complete the view.
Apart from the court servants who accompanied me here, only the giant wooden gate greeted me. What had I expected? Eagerly awaiting parents and a parade?
But even so, I couldn't help but still glance once more.
No, to them, I was just a political sacrifice.
"Fourth Princess, from here, we'll be making the journey on foot. Please follow Your Humble Servant." A court servant bowed, one hand gesturing toward the opening gate. He must have been of a higher class than those who brought me here. After all, his silky robes were much better than mine.
Suddenly, the emptiness hit me, and though I looked around for my uncle and aunt, they were nowhere in sight.
"Fourth Princess, do not fret. Mister and Madam Zhang were both escorted to the East Gate instead. It's closer to the Empress's quarters, but the Emperor requested for you specifically," He answered before I even opened my mouth. "Now, if Your Highness will please come this way."
His tone was polite but down to business, with no room for me to refute or to ask additional questions.
I took a deep breath and walked through the gate. If it wasn't for the armed soldiers standing at attention by it, it almost reminded of the one time my uncle took me through the city gates. It was just as damp and reeked of mold. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine the peddlers standing in the corner and the homeless cowering by the walls.
But no, this was the palace, I reminded myself. This was the one place of luxury and joy in a world of poverty and suffering, the only oasis amidst a dying kingdom.
In the distance, the light was partially obscured by the towering palaces. They were breathtaking, quite literally too as my heart raced faster and faster.
Just when I thought I could take a breath of fresh air, I realized I couldn't tell where the gate ended and the palace began. All around me, the walls closed in and devoured the open sky. No matter how hard I tried, all I could see where the towering corridors in the distance and that tiny bit of untrapped clouds.
Whatever morsels of food left in my stomach threatened to force their way up, and I gasped for air. Already, I felt sick. This place was a cage.
"This way, Your Highness."
It was a maze, and I was the sheep following blindly for slaughter. Yet I couldn't help but wonder. What would I say when I finally met him? Would he ask how my years went by, or would he jump straight to the point of the alliance? Would I call him Father?
The last thought seemed impossible, but still, I clung on to the sliver of doubt.
Before I knew it, we had arrived at a crossroads. To both sides were the shadows of towering palaces, but instead, the court servant gestured toward the winding cobblestone road that strayed off the main path. If there ever were a better time for it, now would be the time I was sure to be murdered in cold blood, I thought.
Admittedly, the Liang palace wasn't as large as I envisioned. Within mere moments, I passed through the sculpted bamboo garden to find a modest building with muted colors. It seemed more like a private study for a reserved scholar than a palace.
"Make sure to kneel before the emperor and not look up until instructed. Always know your place and refer to yourself as 'Humble Servant' and the emperor as 'Your Majesty,'" the head court servant instructed, seeing that I nodded before gesturing for the others to push open the door.
Of the countless scenarios I envisioned, this had not been one of them.
Nevertheless, I did as commanded, looking down the entire time, using the tint of gold from my peripheral vision to guide me. For a building that appeared so small on the outside, the steps leading up to the throne seemed to span for an eternity.
The hall appeared empty, and all that could be heard was the rustling sound of my skirt dragging against the floor.
"Your Humble Servant bows before Your Majesty," I kneeled, pressing my head hard against the ground. No one came to excuse me, much less help me up.
"Pft." A shrill girlish giggle erupted. It sounded like she had been holding in her laughter for quite a while now. "Father Emperor, look at her. She's praying to you like she would honor a buddha at a temple. Her hands are folded wrong. Her angles are all weird."
There was another moment of silence.
"Father Emperor, were you lying when you told Mingzhu that she was my elder sister? Those are hardly the motions of a princess." Perhaps it was my hallucinations, but the girl stressed the word "princess." Her voice was saccharine sweet yet dripping with laced poison. "She's been kneeling for quite a while now. Your Royal Daughter knows Father Emperor is busy, but Father Emperor can't forget about her!"
Although I was looking at the floor, I could feel the burning look.
Every one of her words stabbed into my heart, and if I were to bleed from them, the floor would have been soaked by now.
Hearing those words, though I had not been excused, I looked up. What was the worst they were going to do that they weren't already planning to do? Send me to my death?
The chastising I expected never came. I would have much rather be scolded by him than to continue to be ignored.
There was but a middle-aged man, one hand resting on his forehead such that it obscured his face, the other pressed against the table as if to support himself. He didn't fit the image of an emperor. Sure, he was wearing a dragon robe, but there seemed to be an aura of sadness surrounding him that overpowered all else.
Even his dragon robe wasn't flaunting, being much too large, loosely dangling from his skinny frame. If anything, he appeared much more like a troubled scholar forced onto a stage to act this part.
The girl, however, was the complete opposite, radiating with such energy that it nearly pained my eyes to even look at her. Her dress was full of embroidered golden silk, and her smile was confident as she cast me a few downward looks. Admittedly, she fit her name—Mingzhu—a shining pearl carefully doted on in one's palms and gifted with the best in the entire world.
"Father Emperor, how come her name is so much like that of a monk?" She latched onto one of the emperor's arms, pouting.
He let out a sigh and looked up. The wear of time on him wasn't kind, and visible creases crept up his forehead as he frowned. Although his eyes were set on me, he was looking past me as if I didn't exist.
Suddenly, it became clear that he was the emperor. No matter what he appeared to be, he would always be the emperor. I was wrong to ever let the thought of him being my father cross my mind.
"Father Emperor, the officials are all waiting for you," Princess Mingzhu smiled sweetly to the emperor before casting a flaunting look to me. "I will show elder sister around. Your Royal Daughter thinks Father Emperor will agree that 'Sister Youshi' needs some lessons on etiquette."
His gaze never left me, but it was still empty. "Welcome back."
That was all he spared for me before leaving me with Princess Mingzhu.