It was Dodger's third birthday. It wasn't his true birthday, but rather the day he had been given to us. I can't believe I've had Dodger for fourteen wonderful months.
I told him I had to work, and he tossed me a significantly practiced pout. His lovely eyes shone with tears. I couldn't tell if he was serious or trying to convince me otherwise. No matter what, they broke my heart. I caved in almost instantly.
"Do you want to come to work with me?" Dodger's eyes brightened.
Since Dodger comforted Lady Deinan last summer he's been welcomed ever since. Lady Deinan's garden was a home away from home. Taking Dodger with me was easier and far cheaper than finding a babysitter. Mother was off selling wool socks at the market, she couldn't take him. Thankfully, Dodger respected Lady Deinan's garden.
Dodger turned on the balls of his feet, picked up the cat, and presented her to me with a wide grin.
"You want to bring Robber?" He nodded. I thought about it for a moment. The idea of losing Robber in the garden terrified me. The last thing I wanted was for her to become dragon fodder. I said strictly, "you have to keep her tied to you at all times."
I found an orange piece of twine in one of our cupboards and tied it around a piece of sturdy fabric mother had sewn for her collar. Dodger picked up Robber and marched out the door with his pop belly sticking out proudly. His feet swung high in the air then stomped them to the ground as he rounded the corner. I chuckled as Robbers paws dangled past Dodgers knees and swung like a pendulum from side to side.
We hadn't left the city when Dodger grew tired of carrying Robber and plopped her in the snow, she sunk. Her green eyes peered about the surface then meowed for help as she was completely submerged. I picked up the abandoned cat and cradled her in my arms.
Dodger carried on. Dodger held onto the twine and followed me halfway to the mansion. I was surprised he lasted that long. My knees touched the cold snow as I hunched over and let Dodger hopped on my back. I gave him a piggy back ride the remainder of the trip.
~~
The snow flowers were in bloom, creating a wonderland of white and blue. The ice particles glistened like starlight in the morning sun beams. It was a beauty meant to be witnessed but became blinding if the sun was out. As I worked, Dodger played nearby. I didn't have to watch him. I could hear his little feet crunch snow as he walked.
Above our heads, several wyrms were spreading their wings as they readied themselves for a hunt. One flew overhead, it's wings made a large flapping sound. It caught Dodgers attention and he raised his ears at the sound. Another dragon prepared itself and jumped from one tree to another.
Suddenly, at the swooshing of Dodgers hand, a large burst of wind knocked the dragon off balance and it dropped like a rock. Dodger released Robber. She chased the frightened dragon and sank her teeth into its scales. Dodger thought the squawking a funny noise as the poor dragon fought for its life. It twisted its lithe body around the cat in an attempt to strangle it.
Screaming, I dropped the shovel I was holding and ran to break up the fight before it got worse.
"No! No!" I grabbed Robber by the nape of her neck and unwrapped the wyrm's body from her. I checked the on the dragons neck where Robber bit, its thick scales protected it from harm. Dodger's laughter squeaked and cackled through the air.
"Dodger!" My voice was stern, stopping his laughter. He knew he was in trouble, but that didn't stop spurts of giggles from passing through his lips.
"That's not funny, Dodger! Don't do that! You could've gotten me in trouble!"
Dodger attempted to be serious, but I could see the smile peeking through his seriousness. I handed him the rope. It was all I could do to hope he would learn from his mistake.
I returned to shoveling snow off the sidewalk, but kept a closer eye on Dodger.
Another wyrm flitted nearby, its scales the colors of a beautiful sunrise. I glanced back at Dodger. He was giggling to himself as his hands moved in a wave-like motion. A large gust of wind hit the area and the wyrm lost control, falling to the ground. It squawked, and Dodger let the cat dart toward the wyrm, again. I grabbed Robber before she did any damage.
"Dodger, stop it!" I pointed my finger at him. "You hold onto your cat! If you let her go, again, we're getting rid of her!" I lied, my father used that technique when I was a little girl. I hated brushing my hair and he'd falsely threaten to shave my hair off, it worked. I've kept my hair in a braid ever since.
Dodger knew what I was saying. It was apparent by his face. He pulled the cat from my arms, cradled it, and sulked until he found a harmless way to amuse himself. I watched him closely, trying to make sense of what had happened.
How had that random gust of wind become so strong? And conveniently for Dodger's amusement?
The trees in the garden were strategically placed in order to prevent strong winds. It made the garden safe for the wyrms and plants alike.
And how exactly did Dodger know where to push the cat towards? He was staring in their direction while, actively looking at the wyrm. Unless his hearing was more sensitive than mine, how was he able to tell where they were? Could he possibly have heard the beating of their wings as they moved branch to branch?
"Why are boys so morbid?" I shook my head to focus on this thought instead. It was easier than focusing on the what ifs of Dodger's strange encounter.
~~
The long, cold weeks of winter drudged along. Working outside in the snow seemed to make the winter solstice go by slower. The only good winter brought was the time my family spent snuggling by the fire for the extra warmth.
I had grown quite accustomed to Dodger's feline friend. I fell in love with her every time she melted into the tiny crack between Dodger and myself. The cuddling and purring was enough to make me forgive the dead mice she left on my pillow this morning.
Dodger found his resting place on my chest and I instinctively wrapped my arms around him. As we got comfortable, he touched his fingertips together and made funny zapping noises for his own amusement. I kissed his forehead and covered his feet with more blankets. Daniel snored with his book still open, his thumb saving his reading spot. Mother had retired to bed early.
I was happy, happier than I had ever been before. Just as I was able to completely relax, a shock pulsed through my veins and made every muscle in my body constrict. My heart stressed and stopped for a split second. It hurt, more than anything I had experienced.
I stared at Dodger's wide eyes as his finger inched closer to my skin.
"Dodger, did you shock me?" He laughed as a reply, the same cawing noise he had made back at the garden. Bells went off in my head. The idea terrified me. It hadn't felt like a mere shock. The shock that had went through me had the intensity of a lightning bolt. Perhaps the sudden surprise of it had increased my perception of the intensity?
"You meany!" I teased, making light of the odd situation. I reached under the blanket and tickled him. He squirmed and giggled, but made no attempt to retreat.
Long before we had settled in, I had set a pot of water above the fireplace. Its loud whistle startled me, disrupting our cuddle pile. I took the hot pot into the kitchen where three mugs sat with a tea strainer in each one. I poured the hot water over my cup, the steam carried the smell of chamomile and lavender to my nose, it's effects working instantly.
I poured the water in each cup and let it steep for a minute. I carried all three mugs to the living room and placed them on the end table. Dodger grabbed his. He immediately let go and shook his hands in distress at the extreme heat.
"Patience, Dodger." I said.
I let Daniel snooze away, giving his tea time to cool off. I moved my hands in a sweeping motion to shoo the cat, but she remained still. Her eyes were wide open. There was a dark spot that covered the area around Robber's back legs.
Robber peed on the couch.
"Robber, darn cat!" I retreated to the kitchen to grab a few old towels. She had to be sick. She never soiled the sofa before.
"Robber, move." I commanded, but she didn't move. "Robber!"
I placed my hands underneath the feline, hoping she wouldn't force me to throw her off the couch.
"Robber?" I moved my fingers through her fur, pushing it around to check her skin. Her skin was pale and didn't give off any heat.
"Is she… dead?" I asked aloud.
I shook her, hoping she was just sick. Getting no reaction, I hooked my thumb behind her front leg and pressed hard against her chest. I couldn't feel a thing. I tried repositioning my thumb, but still couldn't detect a heartbeat.
What had happened? How could she just die so suddenly?
Dodger's eyes were focused on Robber, as if he was staring at her. He seemed mesmerized by her lifelessness. But he couldn't see, so what was he doing?
He pointed at Robber before touching his fingers together. A flicker of light flashed between his fingers for a millisecond. It was so fast I almost missed it. A terrible feeling rose in my gut. It was the kind of feeling that made me instantly regret the thought. Did Dodger kill Robber? And how?
It was a ridiculous thought.
I must have blinked and imagined the light.
Still… it was so vivid. How could I have imagined a bolt of light between his fingers?
I shook my head. It was impossible. Dodger would have never hurt Robber.
As I cleaned up her mess, I couldn't stop thinking about that flicker of light and the shock Dodger had sent through my skin only moments before Robber had died.
I didn't want to think about it any longer. I put her body in a small box and set it on the floor. Dodger stared at me in confusion as I tried to explain how Robber was sleeping and that she wouldn't wake up, again.
"She's going to be with her mother and brothers and sisters. Do you remember them?" It was the best explanation I could come up with. Dodger picked up the box and walked out of the kitchen. I followed him to the front door. He pointed to it and tried to open it by himself. The locked bolt kept him inside.
"You want to bury her with her mother and siblings?" I asked and he nodded "She's not coming back, baby. Do you understand?"
He nodded once again. He seemed to understand that she wasn't coming back, but showed no emotion on the matter? He couldn't possibly understand that Robber would never come back. I doubted he understood, or maybe he does and is dealing with it differently than I expected.
"We can't do it tonight. It's dangerous walking that distance in the dark." He looked at me, befuddled, and pointed again as if it'd make a difference. I shook my head and gently took the box from him.
"Dodger, we can't tonight." I tried to remain patient, but Dodger didn't keep his calm. He cried and swung a fist at me, hitting my thigh. I set the box down and grabbed him by the wrist.
"No! Just because you disagree doesn't justify you hitting me!" I scolded him. He wailed as he fought against me, I wanted to place him gently on the ground but his squirming body made it difficult to hold onto him. Regretfully my hand slipped as he turned rapidly. He dropped all his weight into his rear and he bounced off the floor. The air pushed out of him in an "oomph."
"Dodger, I'm so sorry are you ok?" I asked as his expression on his face was a mask of shock. Shock was quickly replaced with anger. He stomped his feet and pounded his fists on the floor as he screeched until his face turned red.
I let out a disappointed sigh and walked away. He had just lost his cat, something he didn't understand. I picked up Robber's box and placed her on the counter. It was a little outside my comfort zone considering I prepared food there, but I didn't want to risk Dodger sneaking her out if I left the box on the floor. I dragged Daniel to bed with me, and fought for an hour with Dodger just to get him in the bedroom.
"Dodger, get in here and get to bed." Daniel said irritably. Dodger kept his butt on the floor with his arms crossed. "I swear, if you're not in this room in three seconds, you'll be in a lot of trouble."
Although Daniel never specified what "trouble meant" his promise made Dodger stand up.
"One!" He began. Dodger slowly started walking.
"Two!" Dodger ran to the bedroom door and made it before Daniel said three. Dodger gave Daniel a moody attitude and crossed his arms, again.
We all dressed, and nestled close to mother for warmth. She had preheated the bed for us. I placed my arm around Dodger for comfort, but he pushed me away. He kept a good distance between us.
"Dodger, you're going to get cold," I said, hoping he'd change his mind and cuddle with me. I didn't want him to be alone, but I decided to let him do his own stubborn thing and sleep by himself.
"Goodnight, Dodger. I love you," I said to reassure him that despite his snotty behavior. We closed our eyes, but sleep was a stranger to me.
I cried silently. Hearing Dodger grunt in pain brought sorrow to my heart.
Terrible dreams visited Dodger, dreams that must remind him of Robber. I reached my hand out and touched his cheek. It was wet. Tears shed in sleep were the saddest cry. He obviously couldn't face reality while he was awake so he was left to battle his sorrows in his dreams. Knowing that he couldn't hold onto me to release his sorrow hurt. I never wanted him to suffer alone.
I promised myself to show him it was okay to be sad. Knowing he was in a deep sleep, I reached around him and pulled him close to me. His body temperature was high and a sleek layer of sweat coated his skin. His hair clung to his face and his body stuck to me. It was worrisome to say the least.
Robber had just died. There had been no warning, no signs. What if my heart stopped and Dodger was left alone in the world? The inevitable fate of death regardless of age sent a shiver of cold sorrow into my bones. It was amazing how the thought of a little cat could put so much doubt and fear in my heart.
Sleep evaded me. Thoughts of Robber dying in Dodger's hands kept me sleeping. I admitted defeat and went to the living room to light the fireplace. The kindling in the fire turned black as orange flames rose from the wood
A floorboard behind me creaked, and I quickly turned my head in surprise. It was only Daniel.
"Is something wrong?" The low light of the fire made it impossible to see his expression, but I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I'm worried." I confided in him. Daniel walked up to me, bending down to rub my back.
"What is it?"
"I have this strange feeling that Dodger killed Robber."
"How?" he asked. I sounded silly, I knew that. However, it was a feeling I couldn't control.
"Before Robber died, I saw a spark of light flash between his fingers. I don't know how he did it or what it even was, but it almost looked like lightning."
"Well… it could have been a spark from the fire," he said, offering up other options.
"I wasn't looking close enough. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me?" I muttered, hoping Daniel agreed. The possibility that I was losing my mind was an option I'd rather consider.
"It could be. Without a spell book or a wand, it's impossible to cast lightning." He confirmed a fact I already knew.
"How did Robber die then? She's still young."
"Somethings happen without explanation. If we knew everything then life would be too easy." He nudged me as he smiled jokingly. I chuckled with him.
"I don't know. I just have this awful feeling in my gut, and I want it to calm down."
"Let's make you more tea. My mother always made chamomile tea an hour before bed. Said that it could calm trolls and ogres even when they would go berserk."
I didn't know how his mother could have possibly known that. The only race of trolls native to our realm were to the north-west, in the Icelands. Going any further south would have been too cold for them, and ogres were known across the oceans. They were simply tales to feed children's imaginations.
Daniel took the pot that sat on top of the fireplace and filled it with water. He set it on the iron rod, and let it boil before making us tea. I took the mug he offered me and let its warmth seep into my fingers. My worries disappeared with it, at least for the time being.
~~
Snow turned to rain over night.
Shortly after sunrise, Dodger and I trudged through the frozen aftermath. Ice crept into my boots and became razor sharp blades shaving off the sides of my ankles with every step. Dodger was carrying Robber's box. He stopped suddenly and lifted his arms, grunting to be lifted. We stopped, and I shoveled the ice out of his boots before putting him on my back. It was only a matter of minutes before we were at the burial site for Robber's mother and siblings. The rocks have been untouched. We dug a hole close by so she could rest forever with her family. Without shovels or even a trowel, we were stuck using flat rocks and our bare fingers. It took us a long time, enough time to cause our fingers to turn white from the numbing cold.
"Time to let her rest," I told Dodger, nudging him to place her inside.
Dodger didn't move. he held onto the lidless box with one arm and stared down at her as if he could see her. Gently, he caressed her fuzzy cheeks with his finger. His eyes didn't show signs of tears, but rather enchantment.
"Dodger?" I called out to him. "We need to bury her."
He didn't show any interest in me. He had this tendency for doing whatever he wanted and, in that moment, he was mesmerized on his little friend. It was as if he was memorizing the feel of her soft fur.
I knelt beside him and rubbed his back. Deep down, I wanted to grab the box from him and shove her in the ground. It would end my frozen torture, but I didn't want to take the moment away from him. I never intended for Dodger to fear death, but rather to learn how to embrace it. We had but to live in the Godius' sunlight and let ourselves be guided by the Goddessa's moonlight in order to never fear their judgment. I needed to teach Dodger that.
"When we put her in the ground, she feeds the soil. The soil thanks her by blooming a beautiful flower over her grave." Nothing. He showed no response. "We can come back to visit her whenever you want."
He broke his trance finally and lifted his chin in my direction.
"I promise." I whispered.
Dodger smiled and offered me the box. I set her gently in the ground and piled a mixture of snow and dirt over her. We gathered several large stones and placed them as gravestones.
"Let's sit in silence in memory of her," I said to Dodger. Memories of Robber's dead animal offerings, random acts of malice, and the scars on my feet from her should have made me hate her. Instead, I missed her. It was becoming clear that she truly was a part of our family and, without her, we wouldn't be complete.
I didn't notice that Dodger had grabbed onto my numb fingers until he tugged on my arm. He raised his arms to me be picked up, and I lifted the heavy child onto my hip. Dodger felt the contours of my face with his small hands. His little fingers toyed with an icy tear drop before wiping it away. I brushed away several stray tears. It seemed that I was more upset about Robber's absence than he was. Then again, his actions yesterday made me wonder if he truly understood death.
"We can always see her in the next life. She'll be waiting for us." I told Dodger.