Dodger was learning about The Four Trees of Life and their role as guardians of our world at school for the past few months. Since his birthday was today and the snow shed a thin blanket this year I promised to take him to see the North Tree of Life. I dragged Daniel along to keep him away from gambling.
"Dodger wants to go see the Plains Tree of Life. We need you to protect us." I used as leverage to get him off the couch even though I was capable of protecting myself. Daniel and I hadn't talked much since our last fight. He began to drink more and more as time passed. I wanted to mend things, get Daniel involved in our lives again.
"Fine." He grumbled.
Together the three of us followed the path outside the city limits. The path took us on the safest route to the Plains Tree of Life. The trees are a source of power, getting close enough, you could feel the power pulsing into the ground like blood passing through a vein.
We traveled a far way north, I twisted my neck behind us. I loved gazing at the castle from this distance. The griffins circled around Arvon'te Tower appearing as small as flies. With the white flecks of snow spraying across the sky it faded the castle into a colorless flat shape. Though the land was plain, the endless canvas of gray clouds was mesmerizing. The sky seemed to go one forever until it was cut off by the horizon.
"Look Dodger!" I tugged on his little hand that was entwined with mine. I stuck my finger to the east. I was so ecstatic I didn't realize the irony in telling Dodger to "look" at the creatures in the distance. I explained the creatures in detail. Taking up the horizon line was a heard of Yackolovs, beasts the size of a two-story house- Females two sizes smaller. They were coated in shaggy red-brown hair, large chunks of ice stuck to their underside. Their backs were humped, and the male's horns curved out in front of them.
The leader of the group bellowed a call that carried across the plains. The heard moved farther north with slow, but extremely powerful steps. The ground before us rumbled and Dodger squealed with excitement.
"I've never heard such a funny sound before." He giggled. I dragged Dodger along. He was focused on the large beasts but walked as he remained in an awestruck silence.
We hit the edge of the plains where it immediately dropped into a bottomless ravine that circled around the entire tree. The other edge was too far to reach without a bridge. Humans have tried to construct bridges to reach the other end but the roots of the tree snapped them in half and earthquakes separated the ravine wider and wider. The remains of the bridges lied haphazardly in pieces as moss and water corroded the wood making them completely useless, it looked like a graveyard of bridges. People have gone so far to try to climb across the roots, the wind was fierce closest to the tree and many have fallen to their deaths. Each tree had its own defense mechanism that prevented the beings of Chara from reaching it. The trees were extremely powerful, and no man or beast was to feed off it's life.
The tree to the North was a cherry tree that blossomed pink flowers in the spring and produced large fruits in the summer that glowed a bright red and lit up the night sky. Towards the end of summer the cherries split revealing it's seed, a globe of light that wobbled like a bubble as it glided with the wind. The fruits drop to the floor and rot, becoming fertilizer for the grass. The seeds eventually lose its light and disappears without a trace.
Nobody knows what the light bubble is or what it does. The tree won't allow anyone near it. Scientists have attempted to catch the bubbles using griffins to reach the bubbles, but the light of the seed never lasted long enough to experiment on.
During winter the tree loses its color and stops producing fruit until next summer. The trees are larger than the castle of Arvon'te and touched the sky at five-hundred feet. Their roots stretched out for hundreds of miles. It is said that all roots intertwine in the middle of our realm but this is only a theory. The only way to know for sure is to dig a giant hole and no one has been that ambitious yet.
I gave Dodger a bright description, he listened intently. We stood in silence so he could imagine it's shape.
"Mae?" He broke the silence.
"Yes?"
"Can... Can we go there?" He pointed at the tree.
"No. It's too dangerous, especially with all this ice."
"But there's a way down! I can feel the tree leading me." He pointed to a root of the tree that bulged from one side of the ravine and entered through the dirt on the other side. A perfect bridge to cross, but how had he seen that? Was the tree truly guiding Dodger to it?
"The tree will guide us safely." Dodger argued.
"It's icy, Dodger. You'll trip and fall."
"No, I won't." He protested.
"Mae said no!" Daniel yelled at him. The sudden screech made us both jump. He had been silent the entire trip, I had almost forgotten he was there. I didn't reprimand Daniel hoping that his snappy attitude was in defense to Dodgers wellbeing.
Dodgers chin dropped to his chest. Words weren't spoken as we stood in awkwardness.
"Let's go home, I'm freezing my ass off." Daniel turned tail towards home. The sword, that was once my fathers, slapped against his hip as he walked. My thoughts fought against my feelings. I wanted to stay, I wanted to hug Dodger, my heart yearned to do something. But what? I wanted to believe that Daniel scolded Dodger because he cared, but how he expressed his emotions was wrong.
I held Dodgers hand as we followed the same route back home.
Should I say something? Should I try to make Daniel apologize? Regardless of the feelings that roared inside me I wore a smile to hide my pain from them both.
"Mae, wait! I feel something." Dodger pointed his finger along the ravine. In the distance a massive beast trotted in our direction. Wispy hair flowed like the snow against the wind, it fell past it's knees and overlapped thick black hair that covered everything except a pink nose. A thick coat protected it from the bitter cold and I wouldn't have seen it if it wasn't for the black patches to discern snow from creature. Its hooves were covered in furry boots that whipped as it stomped towards us.
"Is that a horse?" I asked.
"Get back." Daniel grasped the hilt of the sword.
"He's friendly!" Dodger yelled. "Don't hurt him."
"That thing is wild! Look at its scars!"
As it got closer I could make out massive scars that marked its neck and hind legs, marks I hadn't noticed until Daniel pointed them out. The largest of the collection was a scar that trailed from the ears and slowly lessened at the top of his upper shoulder. I wrapped my arms around Dodger and pulled him closer to me.
The horse was a few feet from us and stopped. From afar I wouldn't have guessed the size of this thing. It was massive! Its muscles appeared as hard as boulders, his legs were the size of my body and its neck was too damn big for its head. This horse wasn't just muscular, but well over the normal size of a draft horse! Just by judgement, scaling it up and down, I guessed it stood twenty-five hands high. That sword needed to be twice as long and twice as sharp to penetrate the pelt.
"We're fine. Just stay calm." Daniel reassured us.
"We are fine!" Dodger screeched. He wiggled out of my arms and ran towards the beast. I tried grabbing him but his skinny shoulders slipped through my grasp. My heart jumped out of my chest at the thought of this horse raising its hooves and crashing them down upon Dodgers head. Smashing it like a hammer to a watermelon, printing the snow in red.
Dodger stopped by the horse's leg and embraced it like a hug to an old friend. The horse didn't panic, instead cranked its neck to meet Dodgers face and nibbled on his nose. Dodger laughed, his hands rubbed beneath its boney knee.
"I'm going to call you Buck!" Dodger said to the horse. It didn't stomp Dodger to a pulp as I had imagined, instead it greeted him with another kiss.
"Dodger, get over here!" Daniel yelled angrily not letting his guard down. He's either: not convinced, or he's too stubborn to admit he's wrong.
"Daniel, don't yell. You might startle the horse!" I said. For once he listened.
"Dodger!" He said sternly but quietly. Dodger held onto the horse's leg and stayed put. He sent Daniel a deathly glare.
"I don't have to listen to you!" Dodger screamed back. My mouth dropped in shock by his boldness.
"Yes, you do. You live in my house! You don't make the rules, I do!" Daniel stepped forward his hand clenched tighter around the sword, his shoulders tensed with anger. Buck reared his head and grunted deeply. The soft snow shot up in a cloud as his foot stomped closer to Daniel as a warning to back off.
"Daniel, please stop!" I grabbed his arm, his muscles were tight beneath his coat. I spoke sweetly hoping to calm him. "You're being too stern."
"He isn't listening to me! He never listens." Daniel whipped his head back and forth between me and Dodger. He wasn't hiding his anger towards us in the slightest, I attempted to hide mine towards Daniel.
"Maybe you need to find a different method. Dodger doesn't react positively to your strict ways." I did everything in my power to remain calm, choosing my words carefully. My hand never loosen its grasp on Daniels arm. As he jerked forward, I held on tighter keeping him from making a stupid decision. He tugged against me until I forfeited and let go.
"Or maybe he should learn a thing or two about respect!" He turned back to me. "Maybe he learns from you... If you wouldn't undermine me in front of him and choose his side he wouldn't act like this."
"I never stood against you! Even in a situation in which Dodger isn't involved... To insinuate that he disrespects you because of my influence is irrational thinking caused by your brutish hothead!" I stood in front of him, fists clenched at my side. I puffed out my chest letting my anger choose my words for me.
"Back off." He threatened me.
"Don't disrespect Mae like that!" Dodger ran over and pushed Daniel.
The horse behind us became fraught, it's anxiety matched that of my own as Daniel smacked Dodger across his cheek.
Rage emanated from Buck, it's aura went from gentle to aggressive in the two quick seconds it took for Daniel to redden Dodgers cheek. It reared, hooves flailing in all directions, white and black hair flew across the sky disorienting me. When I had fallen to brace myself for the horse's fluffy boot to hit me across my skull, I realized it was just the mane grazing across my brow.
Daniel, afraid, but too stubborn to run away, took a few steps backwards as the horse stomped at the ground near his feet, forcing him further away from Dodger. Daniels back arched, his elbow pointed outward, preparing to pull the sword from the hilt and slash across Bucks neck.
I scrambled to Dodger and wrapped him in my arms.
"I'm fine, Mae." He talked as though he was familiar to Daniels conduct. I never wanted this for him. Not on his birthday, not on any day.
The horse's mild temperament returned when Daniel was a good distance from us. Thankfully, Daniel hadn't swung at Buck. He remained calm enough to not act on his stupidity. Daniels shoulders lowered, his hand dropped from the hilt of my sword.
"If you two want to stay go ahead, I'm going home."
I didn't want Daniel around, especially after that stunt he pulled. I was in disbelief that he would strike Dodger, especially on his birthday of all days. He's been unusually brutish lately, but he's my husband, I don't want him to be sour. I chased after him leaving Dodger with the horse. Something about that creature seemed safe to me, almost familiar. Besides the fact that the horse protected Dodger from a threat, the feeling was something I couldn't describe.
"Daniel, please wait." I stopped him and forced him to turn towards me by pulling on his shoulder, he faced me but kept eye contact on the trail of boot prints in the snow.
"What irks you?" It was an obvious question, but it's a start to dissecting the real issue.
"He's being disrespectful and you're encouraging it." He made eye contact, rage burned in his pupils making the brown of his iris look almost red.
"I wasn't encouraging it. You're too rough with him, I was hoping you would see this and calm down."
"I'm going home will you follow me or not?" His sour words escaped through gritted teeth.
"You're ruining his birthday." I walked away to be with Dodger.
"Mae..." I pivoted, his hand was outstretched towards me with my father's sword clenched between his rough hands. "You'll need this if you're staying."
The cold metal froze my fingers around the hilt. I studied every curve of my father's sword, the acanthus leaves that curled around the scabbard, and the design of the hilt that molded into the sharp edges of the blade. Unsheathing the blade was a crest carved in the steel. The Plains Tree of Life was designed on the upper panel, without dirt covering the roots and a crown on each end to symbolize my ancestors birth place, the north, near the city of Arvon'te; the bottom panel is that of our last name presented to us with high honors, an ember burning in flames to represent passion. This sword has been passed down through many generations. Because I am sterile I only have this child to pass down our legacy, but what happens if Daniel pushed him so far away that he won't take my name or my families legacy? My name dies with me.
I was trapped between two decisions: work with my husband and eventually push Dodger away to the point where he finds his own name, or work against my husband and lose him forever? I was startled by the small hands that wrapped around my legs in an embracing hug.
"I'm sorry, Mae..." Dodger apologized. My situation worsened, Dodger was showing me more affection than my own husband.
I hung my head to search for answers in Dodgers gray eyes. Why couldn't Daniel see him the way I do?
We spent the remainder of the day petting Buck and feeding him grass and leaves of bushes that we dug from underneath the snow.
"How old do you think he is?" I asked Dodger needing the distraction.
"He's four-thousand years old."
"That's an over exaggeration." I said, he chuckled.
"He has an old soul." Dodger added as he rubbed his cheek against Bucks fur. "Very old."
From what I have come to understand, school has been teaching him about the trees, not souls. How did Dodger get this information about old souls?
"And these scars?" I asked, wanting to learn more about Dodgers absurd and intriguing imagination.
"He's been to war…" He untangled the knots in Bucks boots with his dainty fingers.
"There hasn't been a war for a very long time, Dodger." I explained. "He probably fell into a ditch and hurt himself. Or maybe a pack of wolves did this to him." I traced the scars with my fingertips, they were thick, and deep, almost surgically as if someone was trying to fillet it alive.
"Or ghosts… There are dreadful things out there, Mae." The cute and intriguing imagination just got spooky.
"Oh really?" I asked with fright replacing curiosity.
"Yeah! Scary stuff with claws!" His fingers curled and he sneered showing sharp teeth.
"Do you think he'll find home?" I asked hoping to distract him from furthering his morbid details.
"He's found it."
"Really! What makes you say that?"
"We're going to keep him, right? We're home to him." Dodger raised his big eyes to me with innocence. I don't know what to tell him. We can't keep Buck.
"He's too big, he won't fit." I kept the heartbreak simple.
"Daniel doesn't fit in our family..."
"Dodger! Don't say that!"
"Why not? He speaks to me like that!"
"That doesn't make it right… I'm trying to change his views on parenting. Working as a family is tough." Dodger pets Buck with intense concentration. "Since Buck loves us so much, he might linger here. We'll see him again, I promise."
His spirits liven only slightly as I had intended. Knowing that this wasn't the last time we'll see of Buck, his body still drooped.
"Don't sulk." I tapped on his spine as we headed south, towards home. Dodger still sulked even more dramatically. He swung his arms side to side, wobbled like a duck, and stuck his lip out as far as he could.
"Your bottom lip is going to fall off if you keep pouting like that." I tried to pinch his lip, but Dodger sucked it back in.
We laughed, and enjoyed our journey home. But as we neared the apartment a sense of dread washed over me. My stomach ached from laughter but now it fluttered. My nerves were failing, I didn't want to deal with Daniel. Words will be spoken, and I can't guarantee they will be kind words.
~~
Dodger and I tiptoed through the front door to our old apartment. We searched inside. Daniel wasn't home and neither was my mother. Where were they? It was dark out.
"It's been a long walk, sit on the couch and rest your legs. I'll make us something to eat." I helped Dodger take off his jacket and shoes, then he obediently sat on the couch waiting for me. I took one last turn about the apartment thinking that I missed a spot where they would be hiding in, this way Daniel can't pull the 'I was behind the door the whole time,' bit.
Just as I exited the kitchen to meet back up with Dodger, Daniel stumbled through the front door. He reeked of alcohol.
"You were drinking! " Daniel, unamused, ignored me as he walked towards the couch. His shoulder bumped into mine slightly pushing me out of his way. Dodger wasn't facing our direction, he curled into a little ball pretending that he didn't exist.
"Answer me, Daniel!" I yelled at him before he displayed a side of him I haven't witnessed before. His passive and emotionless eyes glued themselves to the back of Dodgers head. A familiar darkness loomed over me, it paralyzed my legs and bile crawled from my stomach into my mouth.
A voice in my head told me to get to Dodger before he did. It started out small then began to scream, but I couldn't move. I sealed my feet to the ground out of denial. Daniel could be harsh, but he's not abusive. He'll likely just reprimand Dodger and send him to the corner. I still didn't want that to happen, Dodger did nothing wrong.
Daniel didn't turn towards the bedroom, he advanced the couch, behind Dodger.
Without hesitation, Daniel clutched a handful of Dodgers hair and pulled him over the couches back. It all seemed as one big blur, my heart jumped wanting to act but my feet were planted to the ground. Dodgers screeching made my skin crawl, he held onto Daniels hand to prevent his scalp from ripping off as Daniel slammed him to the ground.
"What the fuck!" I screamed to release the tension in my stomach. I could finally move.
Daniel crouched over Dodger with one hand raised in a fist and his other hand tightly tangled in Dodgers hair. I jumped on Daniel and grabbed his fist before it landed a blow on Dodgers face. Dodger screamed my name, begging me to save him. Tears and snot violently streamed down his face.
The darkness I felt dug so deep inside my soul that I was tempted with thoughts of jamming a knife into Daniels back. I've never felt so violent. Without a knife and desperation looming over my heart I used my teeth as a weapon when my arms began to weaken from holding Daniel back. I buried my teeth into his neck, blood stained the whites of my mouth as I bit down. The blood tainted my taste buds, forever remembering how Daniel tasted on the inside. It tasted like metal but left a velvety texture over my tongue.
Daniels neck tensed and he howled with pain. He jolted left and right trying to buck me off like a horse. His hand released Dodgers hair then found mine.
I could let go, unclench my jaw before I bit through his jugular vein, eventually bleeding out. But I couldn't. My jaw wanted to bite harder, deeper. I fought against this unnatural bloodlust although my muscles itched to tighten against his soft flesh.
He deserved it, after all. Rip it out and be done with it. Dodger had the bruises to plead self-defense.
That voice didn't sound like me? Was I hearing things?
I loosened my jaw and pulled back. Daniel threw me against the couch. Blood trickled through Daniels hand as he tried to stop the bleeding.
"You bit me!" His face widened with shock. I too, was trying to figure out why I reacted the way I did.
"I'm going to the doctor." He hissed like a roach and jumped to his feet.
"Good riddance!"
The door slammed shut and it caused the entire apartment to shake and the dishes to jingle.
Dodger was still in a fit, his face flushed red. His hands hadn't left his scalp and strands of his hair were sprinkled on the floor. My heart crept further in my chest and I couldn't move to comfort Dodger. My head spun, my heart raced and Mnakaraneh stared at me from a shadow in the corner.
My hateful instincts that drove me to bite Daniel must have come from this creature lingering in the corner. Fear created weakness in my heart, a chance for inspiration from the horrid beast. Here it stood, taunting my strength by paralyzing me with fear. I wanted to tell it screw off, to leave us both alone but I couldn't manage a necessary movement like blinking, I even held my breath without realizing it until my lungs screamed for air.
It chuckled with a victorious look in it's white, blank eyes. The darkness he used to take shape vanished, returning light to the room once again.
Dodger crawled onto my lap. I curled my arms around him and retreated to the bedroom. I comforted him through his sniffling, and until the snot dried on my blouse. Slobber soaked my shoulder and became sticky but Dodger eventually fell asleep.
The front door opened and softly clicked shut.
"Mother, is that you?" My heart raced at the possibility that Daniel was home already, but I assumed he would have slammed the door.
"Yes, dear. I brought supper for tomorrow." Mother opened the bedroom door and poked her beautiful white hair through the door.
"Are you sleeping in here tonight?"
"Maybe?" She said with skepticism.
"I need to lock the door from Daniel."
"What happened!?" She asked and I told her everything, from his sour attitude this morning to his abuse tonight. She understood and took her pillow and blanket.
"I want to stay up a bit. I'll sleep on the couch." She said.
"I appreciate it, mother." She closed the door and I locked it behind her and joined Dodger for bed.
~~
The darkness was familiar to my eyes but a figure in the corner was not. Eyeless sockets blackened by shadows followed the movements of my head as I sat up from my sleeping position. My heart pounded like hammers against nails. This creature, unlike Mnakaraneh, was cadaverous from head to toe. A face melted like wax stood stagnant with its arms wrapped in a tangle of wire. This was a different creature come to haunt me in my dreams.
"Mae..." Dodgers frail voice broke the silence but added a horrific tension in my muscles. He pulled against my nightgown to lift his face into my bosom. "I can feel another presence in here. "
We're either sharing a dream in some sick possession by Dodger's demonic "friend" Mnakaraneh, or we are both awake and can see this presence.
I was dreaming. I must be dreaming.
I closed my eyes, hugged Dodger until he grunted from being squeezed too hard, then counted. One, two, three… The darkness was still there but the whitened figure was gone.
I prayed silently hoping it truly left. I breathed deeply when I noticed the closet door was ajar. The darkness hiding the horrific truth if the creature remained. My fathers sword was leaning against the wall.
I jumped towards my sword, turning my back for a slight second. My mind imaged noise, like the loud slapping of bare feet against wood as it ran at me. The metal shrieked as I pulled the sword from the scabbard, the sound of something real brought my imagination back to reality but my heart couldn't calm down. I turned, sword facing forward and my grasp on the hilt tightened.
I took a step forward, the floorboards groaned underneath my weight. My body shook with fright that it heard me. I waited. Nothing. I stepped again and again and made my way to the dresser. On the top, lay a spell book with a simple spell for a flame small enough to light the room.
I jerked towards it, my fingers were noodles and couldn't get a decent grasp but I still tried. I became frustrated with my failed attempt to grab a simple book and growled at myself. My fingers cooperated and gripped the cover.
The print on the paper was difficult to read as the darkness blended with the ink, but I've used this page a million times. I knew where it was in the book and I've memorized the spell. I just needed to touch the hex written on the paper and it will activate the flames.
A hot spark flashed before my eyes as the pages opened to the correct number. The room lit and I could see every little detail, every word scribbled from the ink in the pages became recognizable to me. I had a little more confidence, this spell book may not allow me to create a larger flame, but a burn from a calm flame is still a burn.
I advanced the closet, opened it. The only white's inside that I saw were the walls behind the dirty, stained clothes that might have been white once, a long time ago.
"Is it gone?" Dodger whispered, his head was completely covered in blankets but his tushy stuck high in the air.
"It's gone." I tried to sound confident, but I couldn't hear my own voice over the sound of my beating heart.
"You saw it?"
"I did..." I should've thought before I spoke, this could end up biting me in the bum. Encouraging Dodger could cause more nightmares than he already has. Dodger would eventually challenge Daniel and use me to prove his point, this would build a stronger wall between Daniel and me. If I lied to Dodger it would hurt the trust between us just so I could end a feud with Daniel. I'd be breaking down that strong wall with Daniel only to create one between Dodger and me. Denying it would leave Dodger feeling scared and alone. Both sides were damaging but after everything we've been through, I would rather take Dodgers side.
"I've seen them around the house..." Dodger said then had to add to his statement. "... I've seen them in that ladies' garden too."
"You have?" We kept our voices down like little kids swapping secrets. "Was Mnakaraneh responsible for the rot in Lady Deinen's garden?"
"No."
"Do you know what caused Lady Deinens garden to rot?"
Dodger shook his head. "It could have been the pale people?"
"Pale people?"
"Like the one in the room."
"How did you know it was pale? Dodger can you see?"
"Um. Well. It's a feeling."
I didn't understand what Dodger was saying, but I don't think he knows either.
"Why didn't you tell me these things?"
"I was scared, Daniel told me that it was only my imagination and talking about it could scare people." No wonder Dodger shut him out.
I was unsure if demons have the ability to create illusions in people's heads, making them see things they shouldn't be, but Ade'cer himself said that it sounded like a new breed of demon. Who knows what Mnakaraneh is capable of and if he created this illusion to scare us. I couldn't trust that the rotting garden wasn't his doing, I couldn't trust that the demon was being truthful to Dodger. Saying such a thing implies that I don't entirely trust what Dodger said. The painful truth seemed to cause a crack in my head making it throb and ache. I had no choice. I must find the answers on my own.