Dayne
I don't know what came over me but just the thought of Brian spending his long weekend alone bothered me more than I can imagine. So, I did what I believed had to be done under the circumstances. I invited him to join me next weekend. It felt right at the time especially with him looking so happy and excited. But now that I've had time to think, it seems to be a not-so-good idea anymore.
"Ugh! What did you just do, Dayne?" I groaned in frustration. What was I thinking? What will my parents think about me bringing home Brian? "Oh no! No! No! This is going to be awkward." I buried my face in my hands and cried in exasperation.
Lying in bed, I recalled the events of the evening. I still could not believe that the Adonis most assistants are gushing about in the office just spent an entire evening at home with me. Brian is just so amazing and sweet and funny and... so out of my league... and so in love with another girl, Precious. So, I need to stop feeling good about this. I should not be enjoying these pretend and practice dates with him for my own sake.
But why is the thought of these pretend dates coming to an end making me feel sad... no, extremely sad. This is bad.
I shook my head. Oh no, not happening. "You know what, Dayne, you're just lonely 'coz Deena's not home yet. But once she gets here, you're going to get over this bouts of loneliness and longing for good company and you're gonna be just fine. So, just chill and enjoy Brian's presence in your boring life while it lasts, okay?" I nodded, agreeing to myself.
I.Am.So.Losing.It!
"Deena, please come home. I need my best friend right now. Badly," I whispered to myself as I hugged my pillow and drifted off to sleep.
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Monday came and I arrived at the office really early, as usual. I was about to take out the files I needed to be working on when my phone beeped. It was a message from Brian.
[A beautiful morning to a beautiful lady. Hope to see you smile today. Please??? Please??? Please???]
And just like that, I actually did smile. Brian definitely knows how to charm a lady.
Whoa, hold that thought. The message is not for you, Dayne. Better not forget that.
And just like that, my smile was gone. I know I should stop thinking about Brian. He's dangerous. Not good for my peace of mind. Certainly not Dayne-friendly. But ever since that pretend dinner date last Saturday and our heart-to-heart talk, he has been haunting my thoughts. Heck, even my dreams not just my daydreams. I must really be lonely these days. Maybe I need some excitement or some sort of distraction in my life right now to counter these disturbing thoughts of Brian.
Well, Double "S" could very well provide for the needed distraction. That's for sure. "Okay boss, give it to me," I whispered to myself as I made my way to knock at her door, hoping to be diverted from thinking about gorgeous Brian all day.
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It's true what they say, time flies when you're... busy. So busy that you barely had time to eat a decent lunch. A killer Monday for me. Just when I thought Double S couldn't get any worse, she comes out and proves me wrong right in my face. Well, it's not like I didn't ask for it.
I stretched my aching arms and back after I shut down my computer. It's already 7:45 in the evening. I reached for my phone and found that I have 5 missed calls and 3 unread messages. I remembered that I turned it on silent mode during a client meeting and hadn't had the time to turn it back on. They were all from Brian. Seeing his name on my phone made my heart beat double time. "My heart, what is wrong with you?" I muttered quietly as my hand touched my chest right where my loudly beating heart is. Then I opened the message box.
[Hi, Dayne. I went to see you this morning but you were in a meeting with your boss and a client. Hope you eat lunch on time. I'll be in court all afternoon. Catch you later.]
I smiled because of Brian's thoughtfulness and genuine concern for me as.... his friend?.... his practice date buddy? Oh boy, why did that hurt?
[Guess you're still busy as you did not answer my calls. I'm eating lunch... alone. Wish my Precious were here. Miss her so much. Eat something, okay?]
I felt like my heart was being squeezed. Then the words on my phone became blurry as tears formed in my eyes.
[Hey. Hope you're not tired enough to go on a practice dinner date with me later. Can I come fetch you?]
No.
No, you can't.
No, you shouldn't.
Just please, don't.
Not having enough energy to even fight it, I let the tears run down my face. What is wrong with me?
I'm just tired. I've had a long and rough day. I tried telling myself. And I just really miss Deena. "I really miss you," I blurted out quietly, as I held my head in my hands with my elbows resting on my desk. Not really sure if it was meant for Deena or for the guy who's actually missing someone else.
"I missed you, too." I almost jumped from my seat when I heard Brian's voice. He was standing on the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He looked as tired and downtrodden as I felt.
"You scared me. What are you doing here?"
"I came for you. You did not text back. I figured you'd still be here." He spoke, not moving from his spot. "Are you okay?" He asked sounding genuinely concerned. His eyes were searching mine.
It was only then that I remembered to wipe my tears with my hands. "Uh, yeah. I'm okay. Just had a long day and I just miss Deena." My excuse sounded so unconvincing even to my ears. "I'm sorry you had to see that." My attempt to look and sound cheerful was an epic fail. If anything, it even made my true emotional state that much obvious.
Brian just stood there staring at the mess that was me. His expression unreadable. I lowered my gaze to the floor, not knowing what to do or say. My head and my heart were in shambles. An awkward silence followed.
"Come on, let me feed and entertain you. Get your mind off things. I owe you that much." He said as he tugged at my hand. I did not even notice him come near me.
I looked at his hand holding mine feeling his warmth and nodded in agreement. And just like that, I felt much better. We walked out of the office hand in hand in complete silence.
Maybe I should tell him to just bring me home. I'm in no mood to be his pretend date tonight. I don't think I can still act as such with the way I'm beginning to feel about him.
"Uhm, Brian? Can I please just go home for now? I, uhm... I don't think I am up for a practice date tonight. I'm sorry." I said without looking at him.
"Who said about a practice date, Dayne?" He said as he stopped and held my shoulders. Lifting my chin with his hand so I would look at him, he went on, "I said I was going to feed you, as I am sure you haven't had a decent meal today. This is about you, Dayne. You need to eat and that's not up for negotiation. Okay?" Brian's voice was soft but firm.
Seeing how determined he was to make me eat, I just nodded in agreement.
We ended up going to a chinese restaurant just a few blocks from Deena's apartment. Surprisingly, I finished everything he ordered for me. Brian chuckled at seeing my surprised look as I ate my last dumpling. He nodded in satisfaction knowing I had eaten a feast. Why did he have to be so sweet?
We headed home after he settled the bill. I did not even try to offer to pay my share as I know it will just be in vain. We went up to my apartment and once at the door, I thanked him for dinner. I wanted to invite him for coffee just to be with him some more but I argued myself out of it knowing it will only make things much harder for me later on when he finally decides to actually put his wooing game for Precious into action and stops seeing me as his practice date buddy.
I was waiting for him to leave before opening the door but he wasn't moving. He was just staring at me not saying anything. This is awkward. I need to get away.
"W-well, uhm, I better go inside. Thanks again for dinner. Drive home safely." I said not really looking at him. Then I turned to unlock the door.
"Dayne?" His voice stopped me and I hummed my reply without turning around. "Hmm?"
"Can I.... come inside for a bit? ..... Please?" He asked hesitantly. "I don't have anybody to go home to. And you seem to miss Deena. We could maybe keep each other company and watch tv or a movie or just talk for a bit.... Please?"
I should tell him no. But hearing what seems to be desperation in his voice made me weak. And God knows I want to spend more time with him too. So, before I knew it, "Okay," was out of my mouth and I was leading him inside the apartment.