Brian
I can't believe I am actually calling Dayne, girlfriend. Well, not in the real sense, and not in the way things are with us, for now, yes, but I can't help feeling ecstatic about it because for me it is real. And I have never felt this happy and alive again since grandma died. You could say, Dayne... my Precious Dayne, brought me back to life.
When I carried her to her bedroom last night and watched her sleep contentedly like an angel, I didn't want to leave, and I knew then that I was done for, and that I had to have a daily dose of her like I needed air. And so I had to think of some excuse to keep her close without giving my true feelings for her away and not freak her out, and that's how the "best boy friend ever" scheme came to be. The best part of this MO is that I get to call her my girl friend and even treat her like one without alarming her. Never mind the space in between the two words, as I intend to eliminate it by charming my way into her heart. I need to up my game for the win.
This game plan has to work. "Grandma, please help me make this work," I mentally chanted as I thought about Dayne. I didn't even realize how I've been merely existing and not actually living until I spent time with her.
Being around her and not touch her in anyway is utter torture and frustrates the hell out of me but I had to keep the urge under wraps. But when I took her hand as we went out for lunch and she let me hold it, I fist pumped a few times in my head. I never would've let it go had I not needed to get my wallet to pay for our lunch.
Oh man, I'm so whipped.
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Dayne
True to his words, Brian came for me every morning of the week with coffee and some kind of bread or pastry for breakfast, which we enjoyed eating together in the office pantry before we started each working day.
He also never failed to show up for lunch even if we had to have them later than usual one time because of a court hearing he needs to attend for the firm's client. He would thoughtfully text me if he'd be late and would plead that I wait for him, promising to compensate his tardiness with some mouthwatering dessert, like I could say no to that. He'd also come looking for me in the afternoons bearing some coffee goodness, brief yet gratifying conversation, and a heartwarming smile to last me till the end of the work day.
But the best part of each day for me, were our evenings of fun and laughter. Some nights were scrabble and movies, while some would be guitar jamming sessions, which we really enjoyed because we're both Paolo Nutini, Finneas and Jason Mraz fans. And some nights, depending on the day we had at work, would be spent just lazing around while munching on chips and dips, and talking the night away until we both could no longer talk without yawning. We'd say our goodnights then but almost reluctantly and I sometimes had to playfully push him to the door with him laughing and teasing me, just to get him to go home and rest for the night.
It's funny how I seem to no longer feel so stressed out and tired even after the most toxic of days with my boss.
I have to admit, we have grown so comfortable around each other and it felt really nice to have someone to care about and to have that someone care for you as much. The only problem would be that I am, undoubtedly, and helplessly falling for Brian. I mean, who wouldn't? It's stupid and foolish of me to have allowed myself to feel this way for him, right? And we've known each other only for several days but I can't help falling in love with Brian. Yep, it appears Elvis knew exactly what he was talking, or should I say, singing about.
Before I knew it, Friday came, and like clockwork, I prepared early and waited for Brian to arrive so we could both head for the office, as we agreed to do and have been actually doing since the week started. Never in my wildest daydreams did I ever thought that I could have this beautiful kind of friendship with Brian.
Ouch. Yes, it hurts to know that we'll never be more than friends but I'd rather have that and still be part of his life than not have him in my life in any way at all. I could only hope that Precious and I would also get along when the inevitable comes because I know that if he will have to make a choice of who to keep, it will certainly not be me. And if I were being honest, I have Precious to thank for what I have with Brian right now, coz if not for the practice dates, Brian would never even have looked my way.
I was about to head out and wait for him outside when my phone rang. I searched for it in my bag and took the call, it is Brian. "Hey, good morning! I was just on my way out. Are you outside?"
"Good morning, my Precious. Yes, milady. Your carriage awaits."
I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke but my own smile was gone in seconds and a huge lump knotted in my chest it hurt, and I froze in place. Hearing the name of the girl he's pining for from Brian's lips while talking to me and him pretending I was her instead, hurt too much that I had to rub on my chest to soothe some of the pain away. She is the point of the entire thing with Brian, I know that, but I also thought, because he said so himself, that he was doing these thoughtful things to be "the best boy friend ever" to me. I gasped for air while I continued to massage my chest, finding it hard to breathe with the ache that I feel.
My nose tingled and a lump rose to my throat warning me that I am on the verge of crying. I couldn't speak for fear that I'd bawl out on the phone. I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Dayne, you still there? Everything okay?" Hearing the concern in his voice hurt even more. I felt like a knife pierced through my heart and was twisted back and forth. I know I can't talk nor face him now. I'll surely make a fool of myself if I did.
So, I decided to come up with an excuse. "My tummy suddenly felt bad," I groaned in reply to mask the sob that was threatening to break loose. "I think you should go without me. I may have to come in later. Gotta go. Bye for now." Then I cut the call without waiting for his reply, turned it off, and like a heaping mess, I dropped to the floor and cried my head off.
I can only hope that I'd manage to get out of his way all day, to have enough time to compose myself and act like nothing was bothering me and that everything was fine. Somewhere at the back of my mind though, I have made a decision, to protect my heart from Brian. Because when all this ends, he'll have Precious to love and care for him, but me, I'll only have myself. And if in such a short period of time spent with him, I'd already fallen this deep and felt such pain for my unrequited love, I dare not think of how I'd be if I let this keep on for much longer. It may just be the thing that would break me into irreparable pieces.
Then an idea came to me. So, I picked up my phone and dialled my boss' number.