My body is trembling under the pressure of my own body weight. Ugh, I am falling down to the ground like a stranded whale. "Uff", is the only sound I've pronounced within the last 20 minutes.
Shortly after my comical sounds my body is trembling and aching everywhere. My muscles are under so much pressure and I'm having the hardest muscle ache by tomorrow, I can guarantee that.
Tom is working my body to pure jelly, not feeling anything any more. "It's the last round, take it like a real woman, you are no whimpy dimpy girl! Show your strength and your power!"
Oh my god. Finally, I am ready to die. Now I'm laying silent on the ground and I'm looking at the dirt in the corner. Yeah, a wonderful sight and my lids are falling down.
"Hey Wanda, are you okay?", my gym trainer is asking me, so I mumble a little bit of an answer. I have no actual idea of what I am saying, but it seems enough to take me under my aisles and lifting me up in a fluently motion.
It is a little bit to much closeness to his trained body and I only see his perfect chest. Every muscle is defined, oh my god, why couldn't he left me lying on the floor? I'm collapsing in his arms, if I am any longer in here. It's like hell became real. Oh my gosh, I am a mixed salad right now, no structured thoughts left in my brain cells any more.
A look on the watch display brings me back into the gym.
"I must go now, I am having a really important event today.", I'm saying without much happiness.
"Then, don't forget our meeting tomorrow evening! Otherwise I can find different ways to show you the greatness of athletics." I'm only nodding and saying goodbye to him, but he has apparently other plans, as he's taking a like in holding my upper arm.
"Do it with more enthusiasm. Tell me you want to get fit. Put your body in shape, become the best of your best body constitution. Say 'Yes' as if you mean all of that!"
I must be looking like a dying fish. At first he is cleaning the ground with my body and now he wants my death every day in there. Okay, I don't want to do exercise daily, put he's really creepie, if I don't come, hopefully it's only blasphemy.
Now he's is holding me on my shoulders, near my neck. Oh no, couldn't he put some space between us, I would do that, but his grip is very firm.
"Yes, I do it. I will make it every day to the gym. But I must go now, really it's late."
"Better do it then, you know the consequences now!" His eyes are shining through mine and I can't hold his look any longer. I don't like it a bit in here. Faster as he can guess, I am runing away from him. He can be a pretty good gym coach, but his nearness I can't stand.
+++
At home, I put some dresses on my body, only to be ashamed of myself. Every one is showing either to much or is to fitting for my curves. Only a black one is looking decent on me. But it's very tight around my wide hips. My bones are build completely different. My arms and my belly are normal to thin, my hips and my upper legs not so, like a whale. I see it every day, when people are laughing at me and calling me names. I see it in their faces, showing me no mercy and I don't have enough self confidence to tell them a good answer.
Hold on, girl, get some winner thoughts! I am working in this company where no self pity is allowed, unless you want to loose your jop as a personal secretary. I have the right strings in my hands to handle all the workers.
I am wearing the black one now, black is always good. I only have ten minutes left, until I must leave for the gala, so I can get a nice parking lot and be ready for the event on time.
My face is ready to put some make up on, my fingers are making it a little more darker to contour my features. Oh yes, so my face becomes really flawless. Now, I am really happy, like a little kiddie, who's styling is the first one. Now, I am feeling a little more confident.
The watch is telling me a good time management, so I put some nice flat shoes on, so I can drive my car properly. With high shoes it's really silly, you can't get a grip on the pedals, unless you want a broken foot.
+++
At the gala, my boss is not there. So I am standing in a corner behind a flower bush and waiting until he's here. At the last minute he's rushing to the entrance and I am walking to his side, some papers on a board under my left arm, a bag of women stuff on my right shoulder.
"Wanda, there you are. What kind of trash do you wear? We don't have time to put you in a nice dress, so this bag must do it." He's so sweet to me, I could puke on his designer shoes. He's really a great asshole, not only to me, to the others, too. But he has a special gruesome behavior to me.
"Now come on. We can't be late, this meeting is very important to the firm, it could cost you the job, if you don't play nice!"
Really he's so nice. I am only nodding.
He is taking my paper board, so he can send it flying into the next bush.
"You are my date tonight, not some nerdy secretary. Handle it well, you know the consequences." As if I didn't here it the second time today.