I'm pushing my arms high. My anger is sipping through my eyes which are starring right away to the wall in front of me. It's kind of weird, it's my second day here and I'm feeling quite relaxed, knowing I can make a better version of me. I'm going to be thirty any time soon and I didn't live until now, so I must do something for my future. Doing any kind of sports is helping me to form my body and letting my emotions flow away to get a better hold on my mood. I'm craving for something good that is powering my strength out.
"Wanda, come along. I want to introduce you to the pumping machine." We are going through the gym area, so I see a lot of people exercising. They're sweating, but smiling widely. They seem to be happy, not caring about the rest of the world. I want this feeling, too. My lips are going down while thinking of the long way, I must do to achieve my goal.
My trainer Tom is showing me the sports gear, so I can train my upper body. His hands are on my shoulders, pushing me back, so I can grab the plastic ropes. Bringing my arms forward to the mid of my chest and pushing them back is very exhausting. My body temperature is increasing rapidly and my breath is becoming more and more irregular. How long will this torture going on? Am I dying here tonight?
These and more questions are driving me crazy until I'm ready to faint. Before I can pass out, he lets go of my shoulders and the machine, so I can catch air. I'm literally feeling like a sweating pig in front of this muscular gym trainer. Oh, I hope my self confidence for the sake of my body is growing faster, I want this superficial confidence, too. No, I am starting to get whiny again. No, sadness, go away!
"Wanda, you're doing great! How are you feeling after this fantastic workout? Fresh? Full of energy?" He's an alien for real. There are already growing horns on his forehead. Really big ones.
"Exhausted", is the perfect way to describe my horrible self. Yes, my knees are trembling, my hands are sweating and my brain feels like a squashed potato.
"You do mean exhausted in a good way, don't you? Your muscles must be burning, but they're feeling very lively, too. Personally, I'm living for this aching. Without it, I'm only a shell of meat and bones."
Oh, the super confident man in front of me is actually really self conscious? So I can't get out of my shell with training?
"That may be true. I don't know, I'm living with my twenty extra pounds quite for a long time. So I can add fat to meat and bones", I'm smiling about my issue. I want to get ride of it. Really. I need freedom from myself.
It's like standing on a cliff, you are stretchhing your armsto each side, closing your eyes to enjoy the wind rushing through your hair. Then you start falling, but you never get to the ground. It's a free fall with an open end.
"Come on, let's go over to the cardio sector. We are starting with a mile to run. You haven't run before, have you? Otherwise we increase the distance."
"No, I'm not the best at running, to say the truth", my face must show off a disgusted look, because he frowns deeply.
"You are going to like it. No, you can't live without running any more, if you make a good distance and time. You want to get better and better, running is the best way to improve your body constantly. It's a dream you are living permanently. You will see for yourself."
Yeah, welcome Mr. Cardio-Lover, make me fit. Welcome Mr. Ripper, now I'm going to die bitterly on the running machine.