I'm blinking once, then twice and at the third repeating I try to shut the door fast. But a shoe stops my reaction, so I search for another way to fool my boss. But Mr. Roland wouldn't be the ruler he is today, if he can't make his own way.
"Mr. Roland. I would lie, if I tell you how happy I am, that you are here. What do you exactly want here at nine pm?", I ask with a non understanding voice. I don't like him to be in my space and area, he's a total idiot. Nothing a woman like me can respect, to say the truth. His behavior towards me hasn't ever been a friendly one.
He seems to think about his answer for a few seconds, because he's quite calm, nothing leaves his lips.
"Mrs McKenzie, I'm here to apologize. I'm deeply sorrowful for my hurting words towards you. I can't understand myself, I didn't thought to mistreating you. Actually you are a unique secretary, nobody can comprehend with your kind of excellent work."
My knees must be weak, cause of my sudden want to sit down. I'm speechless for quite an amount of time. What would you do in my situation? Would you go for his excuse or sending him back in his hellhole, until he means his excuses for real. I don't know for sure. I haven't been in this situation before, because neither my love nor private life was or is actually interesting. I was always ignored.
A hand winks in front of my eyes from right to left.
"Ms McKenzie, do you listen to me? I'm not the person to be not answered to. I'm kind of an important man." The last words are bringing me back from the pretty illusion of Mr Roland as a nice man into reality. Why did I think of getting back to my previous job? I didn't like it there, so I should forget my past and move on!
"Mr Roland, I must excuse myself then! I want to find a new way to call out my personality. I did like to work for you, but you should find a new secretary", I picked my word carefully. The tall man before me is a explosive vulcan, I don't want to bath in lava today.
"Is this truly your last decision? I don't take somebody back, who doesn't want to work underneath me, so that is my last goodbye to you as my secretary. Your quitting is now official."
"Good to know, Mr. Roland. That are my last words, they are final, too. Thanks for all the good years in your company, but I should start somewhere new, I think."
"So, you are only thinking then? Maybe you should be sure, to start somewhere new. We will see then. Your welcome, Mrs. McKenzie." His back is now showing towards me, as he makes his way to his car. It's actually really pretty for its tenth year in use. A black, big BMW. Nice to look at and in a pretty good shape, too. After a few seconds of watching through the glass of the window, he's driving away fast.
Now my heart rate is slowing down, I'm not convenient to battle with words, so a argument with my ex-boss is utterly uncomfortable. I don't like it, his words "we will see" are repeating in my head and I know my boss good enough to think about an after match. He strikes back for sure.
After a sleepless night, in which I've been turning around much like a tornado, I'm making my way to the bathroom. Looking like a panda, with deep, black eye shadows, I'm putting a lot of concealer on my skin. After a little makeup session, I put a fitness drink out of my refrigerator and shake it with hot water, so it's warm enough to drink. Better could a day not start.
Then I'm driving to the local newspaper shop, to buy a lot of paper, which contains my future job. My afternoon now contains a lot of reading and fishing for the right jobs. For a few I'm not qualified enough, for the other I've learned to much. My standards are very high, so only a few are good for my ego.
Until evening I've sent three applications to big firms, only to get two interviews after a few days of waiting. Now, it gets exciting, the day after tomorrow and in four days I maybe have a new job, I see then.
Getting under my blanket, I take a book out of my shelf nearby, so I can read. I didn't read for a long time, only having work in my thoughts and in the real life. Now I should care better for myself, it's hard, but I can try. The sun is setting down, ready to let the moon roam through the night. I'm shutting my eyelids, so I can sleep for that warm springs night. The temperature is rising again, my left leg is searching for a little cooling outside the warmth of my blanket.
The next morning I'm standing in front of my mirror, only to criticize my appearance. I'm doing sports for roundabout one and a half week now, so I should get in form soon. My belly seems a little bit smaller, but my biggest body building site are my legs. My upper half is pretty slim, but underneath it, it seems like a ballon. My hips are wide enough to contain a tent and my legs are really uncomfortable in blue jeans, my thighs are rubbing extremely against the poor clothing.
Shortly after my body check, I'm driving to my first job interview on the bus. It seems I'm good and I can get there on time. Definitely a valuable sign that it must be a productive thing to do.
The secretary at the helping desk guides me through the corridors until I can sit down on a chair in the waiting area. Mr. Watson must be here quickles, she promises. I'm waiting with a nervous pounding heart and sweating fingers.