„Do you know your best memories, you know, as you were a little Oliver? Because I don't know a lot about it. Of course, you must think, my thoughts are quite weird, but it's only a little question about your past, you see?" Oh my god, what did I just say to him? He must think, I am a total weirdo, better a fucking crazy idiot, who doesn't know about anything and everything. Such a poor life.
"And you really don't need anything to drink?", he asks me with a little smile. The big crying of Alice and Sarah is now officially over. We must have been to quiet in the kitchen, because babies do sleep often the best, if its loud. Metal music should be the greatest cure. I've never said my suggestion in real life. Oliver must already think that I'm quite strange. But strangers do have the most varied as well as creative life. No, of course I'm no such a person. I prefer a wonderful boring life over a stormy one.
"No, no. It was only a joke. I don't know what did overwhelmed me to ask such a private question. It's not my normal behaviour, you see?", I do hope, I can rescue this surreal funny situation.
"I only wanted some fun. I meant it as a joke. As my childhood memories, they are not the best. But everyone has vices. Either you live with them or not. Latter is not the favourite option", is all he says. Yeah, maybe it's not the best to question your boss. But I'm secretly a curious cat, I want to see every shade of a person, not only the one which faces you the most. I want to understand, not oversee every quality. Even if my old boss Mr. Georg Roland did not appreciate my knowledge nor work I've done, he knows about my knowledge of human beings. I was behind his work contracts, did all the recherche stuff and search information about his future workers to be and firms to work with. It's better to not overthink my old job. My past lies behind the now. I should forget about the bad things and look forward to the better ones. Really.
Likes making pizza with my new boss Oliver. He seems to be a nice guy, I don't know for sure, because I haven't been working long for him. "We should finish our pizza, so we can push it in the oven. It's a waste of energy, if we don't push it in soon. The oven is already warm. 160 degrees should be enough, shouldn't it?" I nod. "Yes, so the cheese melts slowly and should be orange-brown in the end. I think it's perfect." I show my brightest smile to him. Food always brings back my love for the world. My first week personal trainer Tom must not see me now. He would push me through several training equipment to reduce this pizza from my body. Good, he doesn't see me now. But I get slightly guilt for my unhealthy eating. No, stop it! Food is wonderful, I can get rid of my future fat with my weekly training. My thoughts are unhealthy, not pizza. It's unnerving.
"Yes, let's do it. I can't wait to bring food in my empty stomach." I rub my hand over my belly, his eyes are following my gesture. Awkward. What he must think about me? I shouldn't think about it. Be confident, Wanda. I always have been confident, why shouldn't I.
We complete our pizza task and put the baking sheet for half an hour into the heated oven. Between we set the desk and only need to pull our food out and place it in the middle of it. "Enjoy your meal, Wanda! You can start, help yourself", he invites me to take the first piece of our self-made food. How nice of him. A real gentleman, you could say. I smile and thanks him. His eyes are roaming hungry over the meal, but he seems content with me to make the first step. It needs much for a man to withstand food, I can sing a song about it. I did have several dates, but never did they fulfil my need for a real man. They always were either very egoistical or little lambs. I couldn't stand either of them. They were too much for my normal quiet self. I searched for something ... more.
"It tastes fine. We did a decent job", he noticed. I can only agree with his opinion, it tastes not bad. Silence spreads between us, we concentrate on our meal, as we dig in it many times. Oliver is the first to begin a conversation with me. "You know. It's not simple to take life how it comes. Can you relate to my statement? It must be difficult, but everybody does experience worse stuff sooner or later. I was hurt many times, both mentally and physically, as a kid. My parents were my biggest example for me. I looked up to them. But the success with the firm was to much for them. My father and my mother pushed each other, with times it gets more and more radical. I couldn't do anything. At first, I wanted to help them, but they started to hurt me. I had this feeling that I was never enough. Then the worst happened. My mother took a knife and stabbed him in his back. I saw it and called the ambulance. When this happened, I was ten. A little naïve kid, I always hoped, it would get better. Then I got into a foster family. It got better. But I wanted to be my own boss, so I founded my own firm. I never informed me about the whereabouts of my real parents, I only hold contact to my new ones and my three foster siblings. It's hard to live with these memories, but in life, you must get the best out of it. You can't waste your precious time to senseless stuff. You must breath and fly like a bird through the world." Oh wow. I'm speechless.