She shut down her laptop computer. Wala na siyang ganang mag-edit ng pictures. Pakiramdam niya ay nakakulong siya sa isang malaking kahon. Na kailangan siyang diktahan pati ang mga bagay na magpapasaya sa kanya.
Pinagdiskitahan niya ang package na padala ni Yuan. There was a red four-layer taffeta gown, the elegant yet conservative gown that Yuan chose for her. He ordered it online from a Paris-based designer. May kasama na iyong bag, jewelry at sapatos. And a hairdresser was already commissioned to do her hair. Iyon na rin ang bahala sa ayos niya.
Inilapat niya ang gown sa katawan at itinaas ang kanyang mahabang buhok. She could imagine what she would look like on his uncle's birthday. She would definitely look like an elegant yet boring woman. And with that gown, she would certainly look like a birthday cake.
It always worked that way. Yuan provided everything according to his taste of perfection. Wala na siyang kailangan pang baguhin dahil itinakda na nito ang lahat. And she hated it. And she simply hated her reflection in the mirror. It was not her.
Bumukas ang pinto ng kuwarto niya at pumasok ang kaibigan niyang si Friza. "Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know?" kanta nito habang sumasayaw-sayaw sa likuran niya.
Umalis siya sa salamin at inilapag sa kahon ang gown. "Stop it, Friza! Mag-paint ka na lang. Huwag kang kakanta. Lalong umiinit ang ulo ko."
Friza had been her friend since college. Naging dorm mates sila at magkaklase sa ilang subject sa University of Florida. Noong una ay hindi niya ito maintindihan. Palibhasa ay artist ito. Friza was a free soul while she was a caged bird.
Mula nang makasama niya si Friza, saka lang niya unti-unting natutuklasan ang gusto niyang gawin sa buhay. Natuto siyang magdamit ng gusto niyang damit. She even discovered her talent in photography. Nabuo na rin sa isip niya kung anong klaseng lalaki ang gusto niyang makasama habang-buhay. Malayo sa ilusyon na binuo niya kay Yuan. Pero ganoon pa rin. Kontrolado pa rin siya ng lolo niya at ni Yuan.
"So is it the trip to Australia or the birthday bash in Los Angeles?"
Lalong dumilim ang mukha niya. "You know the answer."
"Yummy Yuan Zheng won," sabi nito, sabay sipol.
Sinundan niya ito ng matalim na tingin habang hinahaplos ni Friza ang picture ni Yuan na nasa tabi ng bedside lamp niya. It was a picture taken during her debut. She kept it because she fell in love with Yuan at first sight. He was like a handsome prince in romance novels. Tinapunan siya nito ng atensiyon kahit mukha siyang nerd, big glasses and all. And she was grateful to find out he was her future husband. She thought everything was perfect. Hanggang magising siya sa ilusyon niya. She knew the real her and saw the real Yuan. They didn't match.
"He is so irritating!" she said through gritted teeth. "Hindi ko raw kailangang magtrabaho dahil siya naman ang pakakasalan ko. Kung gusto ko raw, bumiyahe na lang ako sa Europe kasama ka. Siya pa raw ang gagastos."
Napapalakpak ito. "Wow! That's great! Mag-Europe na lang tayo."
"Gusto kong pumunta sa Australia. Ayoko sa Europe. Gusto kong magtrabaho. I want to stand on my own two feet. I want a taste of life. I don't want to be a plain girl who has to be told what to do. I want to be free. I want to be my own woman. I want to be me!"
"Ayaw nga ni Yuan iyon! At kung ipipilit mo ang gusto mo, sasama lang ang loob ng lolo mo. Gusto mo bang matuluyan siya?"
Umiling siya. "Kaya ko nga ginagawa ito para kay Lolo, hindi ba?"
Minsan na niyang tinangka na ipakita sa kanyang abuelo ang bagong siya. She was wearing a checkered miniskirt and sleeveless blouse. Excited pa mandin siyang ipakita na may sense of fashion na siya. At ang resulta, inatake ito sa puso. Sinermunan pa siya ni Yuan. Sinabi pa nito na mula noon, ito na ang mamimili ng damit na dapat niyang isuot at babagay sa kanya bilang magiging asawa nito.
It was the start. Yuan took charge of her life. Kaya kapag haharap siya sa lolo niya o sa kahit sinong malapit kay Yuan, saka lang siya nagsusuot ng damit na bigay nito. Nagiging malaya lang siya na magsuot ng gusto niya kapag kasama si Friza.
"Friza, I can't imagine living my life with Yuan. I can't breathe whenever I talk to him or whenever I use the things he gave me. Kapag kaharap ko ang lolo ko, pakiramdam ko niloloko ko lang siya. `Di kasi niya nakikita ang totoong ako. Ayoko ng ganito. Parang sinasakal ako."
"Then what should you do? We already did an investigation. Yuan is so clean. Puro nga achievement ang makikita mo sa record niya. A cum laude when he graduated from Harvard, one of the top ten young businessmen in the Philippines, and he has been branded as King Midas. Lahat ng business na hawakan niya, nagbo-boom. Wala ring babaeng nali-link sa kanya, though some women tried to attach their names with his. You can't get away from him."
Ngumisi siya. "You think so? There is no such thing as a clean guy. Everyone has a skeleton in his or her closet. And I assure you, matutuklasan ko iyon. Ako mismo ang titiyak na makakawala ako sa kanya."
Hindi siya papayag na makasal kay Yuan bago matuklasan ang kasiraan nito. She had to work soon before it was too late.