Months had passed and it's still the same set up. We would sneak up to go and build our tiny house. Well, everything's fine with our career. No dramas and all.
Terra and Kent. Well, Terra was forced to act according to what the media would want. Entertainment, but I know deep inside, she's still hurting. She never fails to show her smile to everyone, but I know that's not her smile. That's a different smile, it's a fake one. She had gained so much fame now. And to tell you, once you hear her name, it would always be associated with Kent's. I could say that Kent is really serious with her, but you can't blame Terra. She was hurt by the same boy, it would be hard to trust someone and let them have the power to control and mess up with your feelings again.
After a couple of months of sneaking up and building our tiny house, it's already done. The whole structure is done, but furnitures and stuffs are still missing.
"What are we going to do now?" I heard him talking from behind.
"What do you mean?" What is he talking about? We're in good terms, but from the tone of that... I don't know. I think there's something wrong.
"I mean after this... What are we going to do? Settle here and leave our career? our family?", he was confused as hell.
"I don't know about you, but if you don't want to leave them. It's fine with me", I answered.
"I want to be with you. Without anyone judging us. Away from judgements and criticisms. I just want to run away with you. But are you sure that this is what you really want?" Upon hearing his answer, I can't help but turn to face him.
"What do you mean?" My eyebrows are literally connecting, nearly forming a line.
"I mean... are you a hundred percent sure about your decision? " he seems to be a bit off lately.
"Yes, I am really sure. You're a bit off lately. What's wrong?" I had to ask him.
"It's just that. Before running away. Should we let them all know that there's something going on between us?" He questioningly looked at me.
"No. Of course not! If this does not work out. We should still have something that we can go back to," I answered.
"If this does not work out? What exactly do you mean?" Now he's the one looking at me irritated.
"I mean... there's a lot to come. We don't know what will happen, and...
what if we-- our relationship. What if this does not work out?" There I finally let it out. All the thoughts going inside my head were finally free from the isolation. At any point I could already imagine him being totally furious about this matter, but what I saw that night was the exact opposite of what I had expected.
"Come on, Malia. Stop thinking about those things. Why don't we just enjoy each others company while everything's fine," his tone was as gentle as it could ever be.
"That's the thing! I know something's wrong! I can sense it. I can really see that there is something bugging the hell out of you, but you won't say a single thing. Just tell me what it is. Be transparent to me! That's all I'm asking." That's it. I've had enough. Don't he freaking tell me that everything's fine, when we both know that it isn't.
Then... Everything was silent...
The silence continued for about three minutes. We are just staring at the reflection of the moon and the stars from water. I'm waiting for his answer, but he won't budge even a little. Tired for waiting on his reply, I started to walk away from the lake.
Just as I was about to take my second step, he spoke. It made me stop on my track.
"I'm afraid...", he trailed.
"I'm afraid that our family would hate us or even worst, would loath us. I'm just not sure about everything." What he said comes off as a bomb to my ears.
"We will not let them know. This month my contract would end, and I will surely stay here. Mom and Dad would understand if I move away. I'll just give an alibi. It's not that hard for me. I have already planned everything out. The problem is you. I don't know what's on your mind. I don't know what's happening to you. But I want you to know, I can live here alone by my own. If you want to stay and run away with me. I'd be delighted. If you don't want or you can't, then it's still fine with me. You still got a month to think about it. Your contract would expire next month, right?", I just told him. I can honestly live here by my own.
"Yeah. Still a month..." I heard him replied.
"By the way, I'll just be at the house. I'll list out the things I need to buy. Tomorrow, do help me paint this little house of mine," not expecting for a reply, I sprinted my way to the tiny house.
Just as I came inside the house, I flushed all my tears out. What is happening? What's happening to us? I just don't understand. Things are changing. I know there's nothing permanent in this world, but out of all the things that will change. Why does it have to be him? He was the one who told me about living here. He was the one who gave me so much to remember. He was the one that I have taken all the risks for. But now what's happening? I guess he'll just be the one who made me believe in all those lies and fake everything. He was all the reason. The reason that I'm hurting this much. The reason that I never wanted to be.
I guess this relationship is just not right. I mean looking at every angle of it. It's wrong, very wrong. He's my cousin. This just made me realize that everything is wrong. Everything was never fine. We are just not meant for each other, because this is a wrong relationship. A relationship that will always be wrong. Fate is doing this because we're not really meant for each other. We don't deserve to be in each others arms. Looking out the window, the moon and the stars are here for me. It just gives me a little comfort.
Minutes of staring out the window, and into the moon and stars. I felt a pair of arms sliding on my waist. Just then I felt at ease.
How can this be so wrong? It just feels so right. All the negative thoughts earlier were washed away. He's the only person who can do this to me. I don't know, if I can take it if I lose this person behind me. He was my problem, but he's also my solution. He's the sickness and cure. He's my weakness and strength.
Give me the thousand reasons to give up, and I'll give you the single reason that keeps me on holding on.
"I'm sorry. I'll do what's best for us... for you... Let's just stay like this for a while," I just didn't say anything. I let him do, what he wants. I did want it, too. I closed my eyes and feel the warmth that it gives me. I didn't know how long we were in that position.
I woke up in the car and scanned where I am, then went back to sleep again. My head is hurting like hell. I think I'll be sick.
I felt someone slightly tapped me. I held onto my head as it feels like there's a heavy construction going on inside. I groaned at the pain. I do feel that I have this blanket on me, but it doesn't give enough warmth for my body. It's cold as winter.
"I-it's cold…" I managed to say. Without opening my eyes, I already know where I am. His scent is so strong that I already know that I am in his room. He put the back of his palm on my forehead to check on maybe what's wrong with me.
"Malia, you're burning. Hold on. I'll make a soup, and I'll get some water, towel and some pills." I can feel the worry on his voice. I heard his footsteps as he walks away. I cuddled myself on the side of the bed. Good thing his bed is against the wall.
I think I was so sick that I didn't know what happened after.
Three days have passed, and I'm better. I can walk and move easily. I just have this day off to rest.
"Malia, do you remember what you said on that first night you were sick?" he asks.
"I don't have any clue. I think my consciousness was really out that time. Was it bad? What was it?" He was asking this every single day, but whenever I ask him what I told him that night. He gives the same answer, again and again.
"It's not bad. I actually love what you told me that night," and that's his answer. If he doesn't want to tell me. It's fine. He said it already, it's not bad. Nothing to be worried about.