This is it. The past three days were filled with love and passion. I can't believe that this is really happening. We are free. In this small world of ours, we don't need to worry about anything. We were free to do everything. I didn't need to open my eyes to see, if Dylan was here. I just snuggled up unto his chest to feel his warmth which always gives me the feeling of contentment. He snaked his arms around me pulling me closer to him. His hug was so tight like he never want to let go. I just let him do it because I can't deny, I also really love the feeling. He gave a kiss above my head, which was unusually longer. His lips stayed as to where it is. He mumbled something, I knew he did, I did feel the sudden vibration from his chest. I wasn't able to hear what it was, because I drifted myself again to sleep.
I woke up that morning to an empty bed. It didn't faze me that much, thinking that Dylan was just down in the kitchen making breakfast. As I got out of bed and reach the floor, I was surprised to find that the house was empty. I shouted his name hoping that he would come out from somewhere around the corner. I hurriedly ran to where his things were supposed to be. I felt relieved to find that his stuffs were still there.
I walked to the window and scanned the surroundings outside. He was just there standing by the wooden fence, looking through the lake.
I started preparing our breakfast. Just as I finished preparing the table, Dylan appeared entering the doorway.
"Hey, you're just in time. I have made breakfast," I offered him. He didn't answer but proceeded on sitting and munching the laid-out dishes. I could tell that he woke up on the wrong side of the bed with his scrunched-up face. I remained silent too, afraid that I might do something to trigger his anger or whatever he was feeling at that moment. I purposely did not eat alongside with him to avoid any chaos. After his breakfast, I ate with myself peacefully. It's not that hard because he immediately left the kitchen, when he was done washing his dishes.
He was laying on the couch, reading a book on his hand. I walked pass him to get my towel and clothes since I will be heading off to the shower.
"Where are we headed? What is it exactly for us?" He spoke up out of nowhere, finally breaking the silence. I stopped in my track to face him.
"Huh?" It was all I could say. I was confused as hell. He then stood up.
"You know we can't get married," he said. Okay, now I know what this is all about.
"We both know that it's impossible. That's why we're here right. Because right here it's just us. In here, the world wouldn't give a damn care about us," I said explaining my point.
"So, what if we're not married. We could live together like any normal couple. Many couple live out of marriage, and it turns out to be good. It's not necessary for us to get married. It's just a paper. We don't need any of that, as long as we got each other. We're going to be just fine. We can even start a family, without a marriage," I added when I saw his facial expression. He laughed, a dry laugh. His stare was piercing through me. What has gotten into him? Why would he ask these things all of a sudden?
"It didn't change the fact that we can never get married. I can't have you. We can never have that title. I don't have anything to hold you back," he said in the coldest tone, I can never imagine. I could feel the tears slowly seeping from my eyes.
"You know what—never mind. I'm just ending everything between us. Since this is just going nowhere." He spat out those words like we never really knew each other.
"What the hell, Dylan. Why are you saying these? What happened to our dreams? What happened to us?" I was now crying hard. It hurts, he was really giving up on us.
"What dreams? What us? You have always been the one who dreamed of this. In fact, you were the one who was willingly giving up your fame, fortune and even family. I never agreed to you. I never told you that I will be with you, running off to such a great life. My dream was to be one of those international models and now I'm on my way of becoming one. All thanks to you, my dear cousin. It was you who helped me in such extent." Those words were shot through my heart, like a hundred knives were stabbing it repeatedly for a thousand times. What the hell? He made me a fool. It turns out I was the only one who loved him. Although it was clear that I just made a fool out of myself for believing his lies and for loving him, my dying heart was still determined to fully extend its foolishness for itself.
"What you're spouting nonsense? You love me. I know you will never use me. Come on, Dylan. You're not the Dylan I know. Don't leave. I don't know what I'll do without you. I love you so much. I can't bear to lose you. Dylan." I don't care, if I look like a shit. I don't care, if I'm stupid. I love him. I truly love him, and I know that he didn't mean all those things that he said. I was with him the whole time. I could really feel his love for me. Every single time that we spent together, it was always his love that gives me the warmth. I know he loves me. I just know that he really loves me. Every night that we share together, his passion, our passion was what makes it all special. I had sex with other guys, but with him. I never experience the feeling of sex with him. It was always overpowered with our passion and emotions, the outmost feeling that I never had with any other guys. He is my one true love, that even though the universe forbids us. He will always remain to be, the one I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I tried running towards him, to hug him. I don't want to let go. I can't let go of him. I was crying my eyes out while hugging him. He was stunned for some seconds, but he pushed me away. My body bounced on the couch. I was crying and pleading for him not to end the things between us. That he was just pressured at the moment and didn't know what to do with his life. That he shouldn't drag our relationship with whatever shit that he was going through.
"My mind is clear. I just want to end all of this. From now on, you are Malia, my cousin. I am Dylan, your cousin. Nothing else, just as simple as that. What it really should have been from— ever since." He was heartless. He said those words without any care. When I saw him walking to get his stuff, I immediately stood up to stop him. My head went spinning, and I fell on the floor. I felt weak from crying probably. When he was walking past me, I grabbed onto his leg like a child. I was crying and begging for him to stay. I was being dragged while he was walking his way out. I really don't want to let go. He screamed at me, but I still hold onto him like he's my life. My breathing is also getting harder every time due to my heavy cries. He really doesn't know what else that he can do to stop me from clinging onto him. He stopped by the door and took a deep breath. Is he changing his mind? I tried to stand up holding onto him.
"Dyl..." I called and tried to hug him.
"You're pathetic. I can't believe you." He pushed me down with so much force, which was followed by a strong kick hitting myself on the wall. I cried helplessly, looking at him leaving, not even closing the door behind him. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I tried shouting, calling out for his name. My shouts only came out as wimps as I was feeling too weak. The pain that I was feeling in my stomach was unbearable that it really flushed out all of my energy. I heard the engine and his car leaving. I felt the warm liquid running down my thighs and flowing on the floor. I tried lifting my hands, after I brushed it on the liquid that was flowing out of me. As soon as I saw my hands covered in blood, it shook uncontrollably, and I could feel my face running cold. That's it, no one's coming to help me. The only help I could get already left me. I cried in pain, until I passed out.
I tried opening my heavy eyes. I could see a glimpse of the white ceiling. I closed my eyes again as I was blinded by the sudden light. I was also met with the sickening smell of the hospital. I opened my eyelids slowly, to adjust with the lighting. Once I got my sense of sight in place, I scanned out my surroundings. Yep, I'm at the hospital, and alone. Who brought me here? Who saved me?
My questions were answered when the door busted open. There came in a hunk that I was familiar with.
"Hey, you're awake." He placed the grocery that he bought on the bedside table, then faced me.
"How did I end up here?" I tried speaking, even though my throat hurts from the dryness.
"I was going to the lake. I'm going to visit you. When I reached your front door, I saw you lying on the bloody floor. I thought someone broke in, I thought you were stabbed, but I figured out the blood was coming from your -- I freaked out, carried you here. You needed the operation immediately. They needed someone to sign. I don't know who to call. I'm sorry I had to lie that I was the father, in order to sign the operation waiver. I'm sorry but the baby was already gone. They had to make sure that nothing else was left in your body." It strucked. I was pregnant, I didn't even know it. I failed to protect my child. Dylan killed our child. He killed my child.
Tears continuously flowed from my eyes. Not for Dylan nor for myself, but for my unborn child. The child whom before I even got the chance to know was already taken from me.