"It's me," He whispered and came at top of her. She inhaled sharply in response as panic surged in her body. She waited for being hit but he didn't. His hands were too busy to roam over her thighs and her waist. She could smell alcohol in his breaths. While his mouth was lost in the crook of her neck nuzzling. Loving the way she was scented and waxed for him.
She tried to be composed when he trailed his mouth a little down. His hot breaths made her inhaled deeply as he sucked her nipple a little too loud that she was beyond mortified. The last thing she wanted was him saying that she acts like a sl*t in his bed. So, she covered her mouth with her hand to not let any sound out and refrained from grabbing onto his shoulders like she did last night.
She feared him, too much. And he wasn't caring about a thing. He was too drunk to notice her reluctance when he parted her legs to claim her his once again. She tried to lay there unaffected until her husband was satiated and collapsed on her. Breathing hard, he whispered as he nuzzles the skin over her neck, "Fu*k! You are so soft. So, soft and young." And decided to sleep having her caged under him.
She stayed on her bed wide awake all night and silently watched the sun rising wondering, 'why does this sun always rise? Isn't he tired falling every day?
She felt him stirring but didn't turn to look at him. She was so consumed looking at that sun struggling to rise again. While he gets out of the bed looking at his wife's body entangled in covers. For a moment he wonders what was so exciting for her out of the window that didn't even let her blink but left silently.
Following his routine, he was heading to the kitchen to make something quick for himself. He knew he had to make it by himself so he was a little early. But in the kitchen he found her working in her plain attire. Unlike any other day, she even had her legs covered completely today with some legging pair. She had her hair tied into a low bun. And was focused on making breakfast for him.
He took his place in the dining hall and tried to seem busy on his phone when his breakfast being placed on the table took him away from the screen. But what his eyes caught was the bruise around her wrist that seemed like his fingers. The very same place he mercilessly twisted in his study.
She was leaving to the kitchen when he asked without looking at her, "Why did you call yesterday?"
She was a little taken aback by his unexpected question.
"I am sorry. It won't happen again." She answered but for some unknown reason, he didn't like her answer. Was she never going to be concern about him? Even for the sake of pretending.
"Very good, never ever call me unless you are dying." He said looking at her. But his reply didn't waver her. In fact, he looked in her eyes that were calmly screaming that she won't even call him even if she is dying. But her mouth replied, "I get it," before leaving.
She tried to get busy with anything in the kitchen. Though she didn't have much to do. But she can't make herself to have her breakfast in his presence. She looked at her ring but it wasn't enough to give her any strength this time. For some unknown reason, she believed that he might be interested in her. But now it was all too clear. She was nothing in his life. Because now she knew that he only saw her as a scarred body.
'It's all my fault. I made myself look like a fool. What the hell I was thinking when I tried to look pretty for him? He has every right to think that I was trying too hard.' She starts blaming herself subconsciously.
But today, she had something very important to be done. And she needs to do this the moment he leaves. So, she was preparing herself to face people when her whole kitchen echoed with the maximum volume of their plasma screen placed in their living room but what she heard made her as pale as a sheet.
It was Pearl Jams playing. Her father's favorite band that she searched on his television and paused. She totally forgot to set the channel back to his news yesterday.
"Sydney!" He called for her.
"Goodness," She muttered.
Preparing herself for his tantrum she slowly walked and made her way to the living room. 'What was so serious about it? If he wanted to listen to his business news he shouldn't be wasting his time on her even for scolding.' She thought but walked otherwise.
"I will be more than thankful if you use your own television and don't mess with my routine even a little bit." He said darkly the moment she appeared in the living room while the mute T.V was showing the band still playing in the background.
She nodded her head in yes and was about to turn when she recalled that her T.V was out of work since forever.
"I am sorry, my T.V was broke. But I don't need a T.V so, it won't happen again." She answered with subservience. He looked ready to leave but stopped by her answer.
"Sydney. It's not my responsibility. If something is broken. You can ask for staff or maybe ask me if your ego won't hurt." He said and left making her even more confident in her decision. The moment his car left she asked the staff to prepare a car for her.
And got ready wearing a full sleeve long dress. Got her long strap small bag and secured a scarf around her neck. She had a credit card to make a purchase for households but she never left the house and always made her maids buy groceries.
To say that she was scared was an understatement when she asked the driver to take her to any mart that would be in their vicinity.
The car's engine roared. It was the first time that she was leaving and that too without Noah knowing. But she knew it has to be done.
She also noticed a beautiful big lake just beside her estate. It only took their ride ten mins and they were in front of a very big mart. She came out the moment her driver opened the door for her. She was still going inside when that driver came beside her and asked,
"Would you like me to accompany you to carry your things? It's quite big. You might get tired."
"It's fine, It will only take me a few minutes. You just wait here." She answered politely before getting in. But that driver from his experience knew that no woman can go inside a mart and comes out after a few minutes so he parked his car and start waiting outside the mart.
It was so huge. Like a small city. Having everything in the world. For fifteen minutes she just wanders around for the sake of checking out the place. But then she recalled her purpose and asked for the pharmacy from a very old woman who gave her directions that she followed quite smartly. She asked for a pharmacist and to her luck, it was a woman. That pharmacist showed her a wide range of birth control pills but she selected the one, she only needs to have in the early morning if she had sex last night. She wanted to make a bulk purchase but that woman only allowed her two month's worth supply.
She was coming to make her bills when she found some sketchbooks. She ended up picking color markers, paints, crayons, drawing pencils some sketchbooks and thirty different magazines of the current date besides making a purchase for birth control pills. And then her eyes caught her favorite snacks. This place surely has everything. She thought and was going to the very far end of her aisle. Too busy reading some description on some tin fruits that she didn't notice that she was the only one in this aisle until she heard a loud thud from the other adjacent aisle.
Her ears picked someone's begging. She looked through the products placed on her aisle to see some big bulky man beating another one. The man who was beating looked like in his late thirties but the other man had his mouth filled with blood. He was too old for being treated like this. But then that man asked in his gruff voice.
"Boss, he won't agree like this. I suggest we take him to show our exclusive little hell."
This is when she noticed a pair of legs sitting on something. She couldn't see their boss except for his white pants and shoes.
"No, we can't afford this. And what's the point in hiring you when you can't make him spill the beans." His boss spoke and Sydney found that voice eerily familiar.
She quietly removed a tin to see who is it. And the moment she saw his face that tin jar almost dropped and she hardly controlled her gasp. Her forehead had sweat beads and feet get cold. She didn't risk putting that tin back and hurriedly made her way to the counter.
She all too remembered that night. Seb? Yea, they were calling him Seb.
A man was still ahead of her when she saw Seb coming to the counter. He said something in another language to the cashier. To her luck, he had his back to her and left without looking at her. She hurriedly came out but senses someone coming to get her bags and got startled.
"I am sorry, Mrs. Miller. I thought you knew I was beside you." Her driver replied.
She only gave him a nod in reply and get to the car. It was still before lunch when she got home. The staff had left already. She took notice of every corner to see if something was still in need to be done. But her mind was occupied with many other thoughts. For the last few weeks, she had decided that she was going to be safe, always.
But today's incident was enough to make her realize that the world was sure a very little place to live in. She just can't decide what will happen and who she will come across in the future. Dear God, please don't make anyone from my past came across me, ever. She thought with a sigh and wonders that for how long the shadows of her past were going to haunt her.
On the other hand, Noah did receive a message about her purchase but he ignored the message thinking it must be someone making the purchase for groceries. She spent her time reading magazines after taking a bath. And gets to prepare dinner for her husband afterward.
She waited for him like every other day and he came at 6:30 sharp. Setting the table for two, Sydney waited for him to come down. He sure did come down but looked tired.
But this time she knew that he doesn't deserve her chamomile tea or being asked how was his day.
They started eating in silence. He left and she after cleaning the table got to read her magazine again. There always would be a lot of advanced words or terms that she won't get at times. But not having a dictionary or phone she would give up and read further. For a moment she shivered at the chance of being seen by that person. She looked at her surroundings and sighed in relaxation. She silently prayed again for her past to remain in the past.
He asked for the coffee through the intercom and she prepared his coffee as she prayed for his mood to be normal. Well, today she was plain and didn't dress differently so he shouldn't act mean like last night.
She gets into his study and placed the cup on his table carefully while her heart beats so violently under his burning gaze that she feared that he could hear it too. Without uttering a word she turned to leave quietly when she heard him say, "Wait," And her breath was caught in her throat.
"I would like to have your presence in my room at 11:00." She knew all too well what he meant but nodded at his order saying a breathy, "Ok," when he didn't say anything further she turned to leave again when he added, "And I would love to see you the very same way as yesterday."
She got stopped in her tracks but then silently gathering his message got outside his room. She had two hours until 11 pm. Only if the yesterday didn't happen it would be a lot easier. She gets herself to take a bath with heavy feet. She looked at herself in the mirror. Only if these marks won't be here. She knew if he said anything about her scars again she will break. For a moment she wanted to shed tears but didn't.
Blow drying her hair, she did everything except today she choose to wear black colored lingerie under her silk gown. Her hair looked vibrant and shiny. Even her face seems glowing. She added a little mascara and lipstick like yesterday. And waited for the clock to struck 11 pm.
It was still five minutes to 11 when she started getting to his room. And knocked lightly once she reached there.
"Come in," He replied.
She went inside to find him sitting at the edge of the bed. He was shirtless and his hair was not into a ponytail. She feared to look at his toned biceps and wide chest. He was huge.
She carefully made her way inside while she could feel his gaze on her.
He didn't say anything but look at her for two good minutes. And she too, couldn't move from her place. Though her emotions were all over the place, she just fisted her gown with her balled fists and did nothing.
"Drop it," He commands.
She worked on the knot with her trembling hands and dropped her gown. She looked at him just to find his eyes running over her body. And though she was wearing lingerie his gaze made her hide her front with her arm and placed her left hand over her core.
"Now, seduce me," He ordered and she looked at him blankly. But he was busy looking at her body and could clearly notice that she had gained a little weight in all the right places.
"Come on, show me what you got." He smirked. But she stayed still.
"Sydney?" He called, and she answered abruptly, "I,..." And shivered under the chilled air of his room.
"Come here," He called her and she walked to him with her head down and cheeks heated. She was prepared for any rude word or curse when holding her hand he made her sit on his lap with her back to him.
Sydney could smell alcohol and smoke mixed in his breath. But she remained still when he made her hair aside to make them fell over her right shoulder. She worries that her marks at the back will make him disgust her. But his open mouth kisses on her neck and hands roaming or cupping her body were saying otherwise. She tried to stay unaffected but her breathing fasten.
She could feel her body getting hot or weak in his arms and she didn't have a clue why. But then he stopped and she too could feel his gaze on her. she turned to look at him and find a very heated gaze over her mouth. He gave a small peck on her lips once and then twice. Taking her by surprise, the arm snaked around her waist start taking her to the bed. Her body did get nervous as he hovered over her but he kept giving her little pecks on her mouth.
The moment her head hit the pillow he attacked her mouth with a deep passionate kiss. She felt his tongue exploring her mouth like he was trying to memorize every corner of her mouth. She held onto his shoulders when she felt his hands getting to her thighs. She didn't know when he got out of his shorts because the next thing she felt was his bulge on her thigh. She arched her body in response to the invasion she was getting familiar with nowadays while letting out a perfect gasp.
He starts driving her insane, just into a perfect rhythm as he hovered her again and pin down her body to the bed with his weight. Her skin always felt so soft and perfect under him. And today was no exception for Noah. She was so tight that every time getting inside her make him see heaven. Her arms held onto his shoulders for her dear life as she got jerked again and again by his very hard member. His grunts were making her insane and surely doing something to her but it wasn't fear. He was hitting some point that she loved being rubbed by his stony rod again and again. She wanted to shriek faster but was too embarrassed to do so. Instead, without her knowing she scratches his back in frustration and he sure started moving even faster.
Just like the last two days, she felt his hot fluids making ways in her. Her breathing was out of control and their body shined with the sheen layer of sweat when she heard him say calmly, "Remember Sydney, this only belongs to me." She opened her eyes in confusion but next found her feet over his shoulder when he claimed her once again.
**********************
She groaned and squirmed with some alarm beeping but couldn't move much in a strong set of legs and arms. Looking up she found a pair of blue eyes staring back. Eyes that look warm yet so distant. Lowering her eyes she inhaled deeply. For how long he was up?
He knew if he spent any extra minute beside her he will lose the control. So, letting her go he got out of the bed. She too tried to get up holding the covers to her chest but winced a little taking account of her sore muscles. But then she looked at her husband getting into his bathroom stark naked. He wasn't looking at her but roaming around just fine.
The moment he gets into the bathroom she got out of the bed with lightning speed, sobered herself and shoot for her room.
After his gym, and getting ready he came to find his wife making breakfast for him in very simple attire. She had her legs covered with a pair of leggings just like yesterday. He knew the things he had told her might had effect her.
Cursing under his breath he went to the table and start checking his mails on his tablet.
Making breakfast all she could recall were his grunts. You are so beautiful. So, fu*king beautiful.
No, Sydney, he must be lying. Not in his senses. How can you be beautiful?
She served him breakfast but unlike yesterday she chose to join him. She took her supplements but not her contraceptives. Because she was only taking them in his absence and had them hidden in the far corner of her closet.
She thought about telling him about her visit to the market near yesterday but looking at his face that seems so deep in thoughts looking at that screen she decided not to.
And this is how the days changed. She would give him breakfast at eight. Dinner at seven. Coffee at nine and at eleven her very own self. To her surprise from the day she started sleeping in his arms she wasn't having any nightmares.
At times she would feel that something is amiss. Maybe how normal couples converse? But then she can't blame him solely for this. She, too, was very fond of being not talkative.
Four more months passed and she was gaining her weight just perfect. She would spend her time painting, sketching, checking groceries, or blushing about something he said when she was in his bed. Sometimes she would wonder about what will be going on back in her place but always ends up praying for her past to never show up again.
With all of this, she started going to the mart that was a little more at distance from her home. But now she always wears sunglasses and let her driver accompany her to hold her things. People did give her stares for her shades or bulky huge driver/guard to follow her everywhere but she never gave any mind to them.
One night, she was silently having dinner with her husband when she saw one of their maid coming out of his room. And it was quite unusual because the staff was never here at this time.
"I am leaving tomorrow," Noah spoke looking at her confused state.
She was still letting his word sink when that maid came with a smile at her face as she said, "Mr. Miller, your suitcase has been packed for tomorrow as you requested."
"You may leave now," He replied without lifting his head.
Is this where I should be asking where is he going and for how long. She sighed inwardly.
"I am leaving for New York and I will be going for a week." He informed her.
"Oh!" She responded.
Seriously, Is this even an answer. She scolded herself. But what can I say?
The rest of the night went the same. But she couldn't shake away the feeling of being vulnerable after him.
When Noah, came for the breakfast he could notice some extra treats at the table but didn't say anything. Every other day she would still be in the kitchen while he left but today he noticed her staying in the living room reading magazine. And when he got inside his car and his driver closed the door to get into his driver seat he noticed her standing at the door. He looked at her without blinking because he knew she can't see him.