She looked at her husband's sleeping figure. His head was still there on her chest where he chose to sleep on. Still secured with his right hand and leg she noticed the little light seeping through the large windows, trying to tell her about the arrival of yet another morning. His hot breaths on her skin were making her reminisce about the events last night. Biting her lower lip hard she tried to keep her breathing calm as red crept to her cheeks.
I did it. I was able to do it. She thought and a tear escaped her right eye. She wasn't sad or happy but lost too deep in her thoughts.
She recalled their passionate lovemaking and how he was so controlling yet gentle.
'It was normal, Sydney. It was nothing. Relax, just relax. And how do I know that it's normal? And what if he left me? What if he broke my trust? He won't. Yes, he won't. He is my husband. He had told me that he will keep me for life.' The thought made her release a sigh.
'It's his time to wake up. Should I wake him up?' But then thinking how late they decided to sleep makes her change her mind.
'But what if he got some important stuff at his work?' Carefully she placed her hands over his shoulders and noticed how tense they are.
'Forget about it. He needs to rest.' She thought and tried to get to sleep too.
This time when she tried to move there was no weight. Opening her eyes she noticed that it was only her. 'How long I was out?'
Her body felt sore to her core. Her sticky thighs were the reminder of her passionate night with her husband. This made her cheeks go red and heated. Getting up she noticed her clothes on the floor. Picking her clothes she sobered herself before walking out. She was still coming down and was on the stairs when she noticed Noah getting to the door. And before she could say something he was out.
She felt bad for his hectic routine. In the past, she used to work a lot. But nowadays she had a lot of time to stroll around in their lawn.
She went to her room and wonder for a time if he would get her back to his room. But having her room was more convenient. It was like her personal space where she could breathe. She prepared a hot bath for herself but the moment she looked at her hair she hardly controlled her scream. They were a disaster.
She recalled him massaging her scalp and it was relaxing but what the hell it did to her hair.
She recalled how much he made her feel desired. She took notice of the hickies he gave her on her blossoms. And a handprint on her waist. 'He doesn't deserve a girl like me.' She thought to look at her hair and then to so many scars on her body. But then deciding something she prepared a hair mask. Waxed her legs and arms. And took a long hot bath that helped her ease her pained body and decided to condition her hair.
She was combing her hair into a pony but then thinking that it's too plain she straightened her hair using a straightener that she knew she had but never used and let her hair open with little curls at the end. Choosing a modest dress that reached her calves she put on light makeup and finalize her outfit with small diamond earrings and mauve nail paint.
She went on to make dinner for him. She still didn't know what he likes the most as he never passed any comment but she knew he liked roasted mutton from her experience of his better appetite if it's mutton. It was 4 in the evening and all her thoughts were consumed thinking how much was he in the bad shape when he came last night. She didn't want him to work this much. Contemplating for an hour she finally decided to call him from the landline. Someone picked on the second ring and said, "Hello, this is Mr. Miller's office. How can I assist you?"
"I want to talk to, Noah." She replied,
"Can I get your name, please." The voice answered.
She inhaled sharply before replying. "This is Sydney Miller."
"Oh, Good evening, Mrs. Miller. Just wait a second. I will see if Mr. Miller is free to talk to you." Though his secretary answered professionally she couldn't help but wonder why she didn't try his cellphone.
Her heart beats violently until she heard a deep voice saying, "Hello?" She couldn't say anything. She, too, didn't know why she tried him. But then she heard him say, "Sydney, are you fine?" and she was taken back to reality.
"Yea, I am fine. When are you getting back?" She asked.
"I am busy at the moment," He said and cut the call. She couldn't help but notice his harsh tone. This made her wonder if she had done something wrong last night.
She waited for him sitting in the dining room. He was again fifteen minutes late but she knew that he must be busy with his work. 'Dear God, I don't know if I can love him or not but he's been nothing but a very good husband. I pray to you for his long and healthy life. And please, make him come home soon because he was really tired.'
She might have talked about something else to God, but the engine roaring at the front put her out of her daze. She walked out to the kitchen to look at him but he went upstairs without passing her a glance.
'Well, it's normal right? He always does that. Did last night change nothing? Of course not, it's not like we two are in love. We are just married.' She sighed and caged her perfectly curled hair into a bun before getting onto set the table. She waited for more than half an hour but he didn't come. Or didn't even ask for his coffee.
She waited for more than three hours, way past the time for his coffee and then went to her room. Getting her magazine she gets into her covers and tried to read the magazine but the words start getting blurry as tears filled her eyes and poured onto the magazine. 'Stop being affected, Sydney. It's nothing. You can't depend on him. One day, he might leave you. And even if he doesn't your fate will happen sooner or later.'
She gets to change herself into her nightwears which were all very bright colored lingerie with silk see-through robes. As she was deciding for bed, she skipped the lingerie and only chose to wear the robe. But then it struck her.
'Come on, Sydney! you expect him to be considerate when he is working himself to death.'
She recalled how she used to work non stop in the past but now her only responsibility is making breakfast and dinner and that too she is guilty of not making for him, today. And how he never forced himself upon her. Though he had the power to do anything with her. 'Maybe, I should check on him. And I should offer him a massage. Nah! We aren't that close. But I can make chamomile tea for him.'
Deciding she went into the kitchen to make chamomile tea for him to help him sleep better and lessen his fatigue.
On the other hand, his whole day at the office was a disaster. He couldn't focus on anything at all. Her face, moans and trembling body in his hands was all he could think of. She was so sensitive to his every touch. He remembered that her doctor had advised him to refrain from intercourse for the time she is not completely healthy but he still decided to make out with her a little on their first night. But her reaction was enough to wake him up that it was all a mistake.
She might be so beautiful and have an effect on lessening his anger or elevate the mood but she wasn't the right choice. He tried to tell himself every damn day that he is not in love with her but couldn't. Her calm and quiet nature was having him twisted around her finger. And if this keeps going on, one day she will know that she can control him. And he can't afford to be this vulnerable. Not even for the woman he called his wife.
He huffed in frustration and lean on his chair. 'Everything was going good. Every damn thing until I found her worrying for me at the doorframe. All this time I knew she was indifferent to me. And I was no one to her. Every time, I knew that I had her caged against her wish. And frankly, it didn't matter to me. The fact that she is with me was enough for me. But the moment she came to cover me with some sheets afterward, I couldn't hold back anymore.'
How much he wished that he could trust her? But the more he wanted to trust her, the more his brain alerted him that he doesn't know her. He knows too little about her. Only the things for the public record. Only the things his spy could collect from those villagers. He recalled his beloved from his past. He almost knew her for years still it wasn't enough. And this girl! Her countrymen didn't have many good things to talk about her. She was beyond notorious at her place.
'It doesn't matter. I wanted her and I got her. And even if she was the sl*t of her town I will keep her mine with hook or crook. Only mine. And it was far better and convenient than trusting your partner blindly and waiting to be stabbed all the time.'
He didn't ask for the coffee tonight and stared at the couch where he took her for the very first time. 'She looked so innocent for a vicious woman. And not to forget so young.'
He tried to work on the marketing analysis report that was sent to him an hour ago while his wine was half-finished and his fingers held his third smoke when he heard his door being knocked for the third time.
"Come in," He answered that was followed by his wife coming into the study with a cup that had steam coming from it.
"I,... This is for you. It helps to relieve fatigue." She said as she came to his side to place the cup near his files carefully and waited for his reply. For a second, her eyes went to that couch, making her inhale deeply but then feeling his gaze over her she turned her head to him. How much she wanted to ask him not to work too much but she stayed silent. She knew she didn't have this right. Not yet.
He didn't answer. He was too busy to look at his wife who was just a foot away from him and her attire. An attire that was showing her perky ni*ples. Telling him her lack of a bra. Her shiny long hair falling and encasing her innocent face, begging for being caressed. Her eyes were different today. They didn't seem gloomy. He, who was used to looking at her plain wife was taken aback. 'What the hell she is trying to pull? Is she Seducing me?' He thought.
His accusing gaze didn't go unnoticed by her. She felt embarrassed and guilty for her attire too. "I am sorry to disturb you. I should go,..." She said sheepishly and was about to leave when he held her wrist.
"Is this how you were used to seducing men at your home. To get favors?" He asked with his teeth gritted while his fingers dig deeper on her wrist.
A gasp escaped her mouth as her brain processed his words. She started panicking. He looked so furious that anytime she knew he will hit her. She struggled to get her hand free as a sob escaped her mouth. She was too scared to even utter a single word when he growled, "Answer me,"
"I promise,...I did nothing...Please, leave me." She requested hysterical and tried to get free from his hold but was pulled in his lap. She tried to get up but he pulled her back to make her sit on his thigh. He felt his shivering back against his chest. He had his arm snaked around her waist when his other hand undone the knot at her front and groped her left blossom. Scared that he might hurt her she grabs onto his hand to get free from him.
"What? you don't like when your husband touches you." He asked as he kneads her flesh and tugs onto her earring with his mouth. She lifted her shoulder to avoid his mouth and feared his actions. "Noah, please," She sobbed. It was nothing like last night when he made her feel so loved and secured.
"What? You don't want me to tell you how you look?" He replied and made her look into his eyes when he said looking at her tightly shut eyes, "You look beautiful, Sydney. You are the most beautiful only until you don't drop your outfit. Because your scars can make any man detest you." This made Sydney open her eyes and look at him with shock in her eyes. She was not struggling anymore.
"Don't be shocked. You think I married you because I fell for you? No! It's because even if you would try to cheat on me no one will accept you. Not as a wife at least. So, you better choose wisely."
She blinked twice as she shook her head in disappointment before her broken dreams stink too bad in her eyes that she couldn't hold back her tears and a loud sob escaped her throat. She just wanted to run somewhere far and hid for her whole life. Is this the man she decided to trust? Her eyes screamed.
Somehow he noticed too that he had lost the admiration her eyes had for him a moment ago. This made him lose his grip and she wasted no time to run out of his room. Getting to her room she unpacked the suitcase she had prepared in case he asked her to shift before she let herself fell on her bed and cried herself to sleep. She knew that she wasn't perfect but she didn't deserve to be treated like this. The man, she thought she will be protected with can hurt her the most.
At night, when she was sound asleep she felt a hand running over her waist. This made her startle as a gasp escaped her mouth but next, she felt a hand over her mouth before she heard him say, "It's me."