"A single event can awaken
within us a stranger totally
unknown to us. To live is to be
slowly born."
---------Antoine de Saint-Exuper
***********
Blue
Everything had ceased. Even my breathing had halted.
Was it for real?
A scream materialized in my throat but I gulped it down .My eyes that were clenched shut couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. And then my iPhone slipped off my hands.
Thud!
Might be a thunderstorm or might be my revolting heart or my phone.I dunno.
Was it a nightmare?
What did Edward mean by those questions?
Had he injured his brain during the accident?A concussion?
Or was it really an amnesia that the doctors feared about?
No it couldn't be that...How could he forget himself and us? and Me ?
The sobbing broke through me.The waves of havoc and nausea struck me and I rushed out in hurry. Air was what I required the most then.
I couldn't even confront Edward now,not when I was a complete stranger to him.
His rejection in the began was fine with me because atleast we could remain friends but now everything toppled upside down. Our friendship forgotten.....now me being a foreigner.
A terror was slowly grasping me and was making me paralyzed. What would I do now?Wouldn't he leave then?
With the thoughts causing chaos,I tripped over but two strong yet withered hands steadied me and supported me to a nearby bench. I was in a haze so I didn't perceive the person but slowly a soothing voice pierced my psyche and I jolted upright.
Angus...
Sensing him,made me more vulnerable. I just looked up and begged him to leave.I couldn't let him see me in such an impuissant state.Grief was etched on his face with his grey eyes shimmering like mercury. He must have been crying.
Oh dear, you see I so wanted to console him but the pain had immobilized me.And thus realizing my yearning for loneliness, Angus left....his silhouette slowly dissipating in the fog of dusk.
After Angus,my breathes became more errant and heavy.My heart started gasping and I slided down from the bench. A dark choking solitude shrouded me.
Yet amid the mist of confusion, I stood and zombiely walked the distance to Edward's ward and I stilled.
Why was I here?What would I say to him again?How would I introduce myself to him?
Wouldn't it be weird?
Despite the perplexed situation,I knocked and entered.This time I have to be brave for Ed.I would do anyone for his well-being.
Pushing in the door, Angus greeted me and as I peered behind him,Edward was sleeping peacefully. So beautiful and handsome. More like a warrior angel...a Greek God.My warrior....yet no more mine.
I sniffed and glanced back at Angus with pleading eyes.I gestured him to follow me to the corner and then we stood facing each other with gloominess.
"He won't remember anytime soon,right?",I rasped.
Angus nodded.
Nonetheless I hugged my torso more firmly,then I closed my eyes momentarily to prevent my tears from escaping out again.I couldn't be weak now.I needed to decide and so I would. Reopening my eyes,they settled back on Edward and it skipped. The last time...
And then,I don't remember when and how I choked out those bitter hard words to Angus.
" Leave this place immediately and consult the best doctors and therapists.If he doesn't remember all this,don't pressurize him...just tell him that he was here for his usual escape-outs.And please destroy every thing relating to us....and take good care of him..."
"If he couldn't recall our time here,it's fine ....so long he is safe and secure."
"But....",Angus whispered.
"No buts Angus,to be frank I knew from the start that there cann't be any we or us....and I maybe selfish for love but not so cheap to cause them harm...."
" I love him and he might not be aware of it and thus for that I can and I will let him go..."
Listening this,Angus nodded once,then twice and after patting my head,he departed from the chamber.Right then I huffed out and turned around.
I realised that I was left alone with Edward, and I so wanted to rush to him and hug him,confess my feelings and my concerns for him but I did nothing. I was frozen in the place. How I wished he would flutter his hypnotic eyes open,then greet me with his classic predatory lazy smirk...causing me to become breatheless.
Nonetheless clenching my fists tight I moved forward and pecked a quick kiss on his forehead. He was warm but so distant.
As I breathed in him...for the last time and first time I kissed him and for the last time I bade him goodbye. I wouldn't see him again.Our departing goodbye.
Hence you see guys quite ironically I again dropped down to a stranger status. Not a friend or more....only a mere stranger. An ordinary girl.