"Last words are always harder to
remember when no one knows
that someone's about to die."
----------John Green.
***********
Angelina
The agony was making me writhe.Dressed in a hospital gown I pondered while gazing aimlessly at the ceiling. Did I ever imagine this future?Nope.....Never.
Ahhh...see I got teary again.So,keeping aside all the mushiness I stretched out my hand for the notebook. I had to write something important. As I plucked the pen out,it shook....why?because I was trembling.
This disease caused a havoc in my life.It dumped in all my dreams,aspirations and happiness on the trash can just like that.Considering about my future pained me but the thought of abandoning my family made me lifeless already.What would happen when I wouldn't be around?
How would Ma live?Who would Da pamper?
And being guilt prone never helped Ma rather accentuated her depression. And what about me,won't I miss them all....?
Absolutely...
Sighing, I wiped my tears away with my free hand.My other hand was immobilized due to the IV tubes and the pulse oximeter.Despite all,I shuffled on the bed to sit straight. I needed to complete this letter before the oblivion of darkness struck me.
Hence,I began.
"Dear Ma and Da,
Well okay I know its a bit weird of me to write a letter but let me tell you guys I want to experience a new thing so here am I.Not that I asking to sleep with somebody....
Chillax guys,I was joking. Its a too inhygienic for me and ewww.
But jokes apart,I wanted you guys to read this together.You were and would be always perfect together and be our idols.
We love you both but Da,I have got a few complaints regarding you.Even if now you aren't with me,it doesn't sabotage me that much as did your absence.Da,we needed you so many times and all the while Ma had been there.She had been valiant for us,always consoling and never once making us resent you.Each time Ma asked us to have faith and wait for you,Da.And that's why I wanted to thank you for bringing Ma to our lowly lives.
We all really wanted to share the news of Belle with you.But you hadn't been around. And you know Da,when Ma places her my arms,Belle looked amazed she giggled and clutched my stylish bracelet with her tiny fingers. And from then onwards she became my friend,comrade and my assistant.
We all lenitently tried to introduce her to you through your pictures and souvenirs.....and we missed you immensely, Da.
As,for Ma...I am sorry for letting you down.Don't cry but celebrate my life as you have taught us to. Don't forget me,Ma.To tell you a secret I loved you more than one should one's Mom but I love you nonetheless. And don't forget to remind Gal that I would be haunting her if she doesn't change her attitude.
Tell my brothers that I would look out for them from the sky and as for Rose,well don't be a second Gal,be cool like me.
Lastly,yes I wanted you Da to be here with me and hold my hand while I breathe my last.Da I am so scared.Will I go to hell or heaven?I am so tired even.
And yes,Ma-Da be there for each other. You two are the symbol of pure love and strength for us.....
With Love,
Angie.