"If you feel lost, disappointed,
hesitant, or weak, return to
yourself, to who you are, here
and now and when you get there,
you will discover yourself, like a
lotus flower in full bloom, even inj
a muddy pond, beautiful and
strong."
---------Masaru Emoto.
*************
Blue
The flight had been okay.
The remnants of the past journeys smeared my memory lane with heartache.
I had got a window seat and as I gazed past over the clouds,I was transported back to my former days.Our university orientation programme, the annual award ceremony, the first day of my summer internship....everything now seems so distant. Ahh....
Due to the air turbulence I jolted back in the reality and rubbing of my face I tried to clear off the daze.Beside me an old couple remained dozing, all wrinkly and cute.But the amazing fact concerning them was their peaceful aura and their linked hands.
Wish I had something like that too ....
But nevermind, few things ought not be in our stars and then we couldn't simply trace back our footsteps as we liked.
And going back to my city strained my nerves more.What would my life entail after my return?What would people say?Not that I gave a shit....Sorry about the language.
Hope,I could make my parents get over their incompetence and again make them proud of me. For them I did leave my soul,my life force and my dream behind yet I don't regret a cent of it for I know they always had best interests for me. Still yeah it pricks...
After almost seven hours flight,my body felt paralyzed.Soon I checked out and shuffled my way out of the airport.As I inhaled the air,I felt stifled.It didn't felt right.Something felt amiss.Lost or forgotten.....
Thirty minutes later,I knocked an all too familiar door.The hard wood door with an elegant knocker creaked opened with a welcoming warm smell of spices and coriander wafting out,arousing me in the process.Home it was.
A hug awaited for me,my mother's.When in her embrace finally I let go of all my past unshed tears ....for she could estimate my torment and thus she wrapped me in her cocoon like the infant I was once.
Then patting my head my father greeted me with a faint smile not even reaching his eyes.How could it even?
There was nothing left other than regret,inability and emptiness.....
But what could be done now.Fate works its own course and we couldn't help it nor stop it.Moreover if we contemplated this way,I should have considered about our limits before stepping out.
Hence with no more further what ifs,I was about to start a new level of my life.
But then before closing this chapter of my life....I would like to confess-never had I or would I regret my love for you Edward.I just hoped that someday you would reciprocate it,may be on my last day with you and yet....many things were better to be left unsaid and undone....