"I've never stopped; I simply
forgot that I love you. However,
every time I look at you I'm
reminded of how I can never stop
loving you."
------------Hafsa Shah.
****************
E.H.
Fifteen years ago(continued).....
Accidentally once I had knocked down Blue's Wuthering Heights book and as I picked it up,a dog-eared page caught my eyes.
Opening it,I found Blue's cursive scribble on the inside of cover page.
Few lines were quoted down:
"Be the deck of sanity
Be the charity of ambitions
Be the shrine of hope
Be the obelisk of peace
Be the den of warmth and affection
Be the forest of freshness
Be the healing balm to her gashes
Be the shadow during the unsavory times
Be the beacon of a lighthouse that lulls her back to the shore
Be the siren for the sunsets
Be the crown of her scars and kudos
And,
Be the ocean of new horizons....
At last be the person whom no one had been for her
Her air.....
Her music.....
Her fire...
And,
Her passion for life...."
The words shuddered me and choked me in the same. The deep meaning along with the poem's simplicity painted a world we all fantasized.
So far I had the opinion that Blue hadn't undergone much troubles as I had but I was wrong.She had her own demons to slay yet she portrayed a girl with an egoistic attitude.A cold exterior with a blazing inferno inside.
She really amazes me most of the time.
A small sprout with an ancient addictive inside...
But drifting from the current topic was thoughtless of me so back to the past event.
Her parents were quite welcoming and I was delighted to have gotten a chance to be more accquianted with them.
The conversation had been light and cheery with Blue and her Mom sparkling it more with their quirky comments. And the food was finger licking good and yes,spicy too.
Soon the discussion carried off to my stay here.As I had mentioned earlier that my stay here had been prolonged.Thus for the past few days I had been searching of a rental house which when I mentioned it to Blue's father Leo,he suggested me to move in to the next door.
Their neighbors were long gone and the house was off for rents,so.....
Without more thought I asked Peter to crack the deal on my behalf and yippee,next day the keys were in my hands.
Next door to Blue,Oh My God !!!!!
Seriously I was in the cloud nine.All these days I tried to keep Blue out of my axis,not giving in to my feelings.....but there we go again....I was stuck to Blue.Damn.
Yet apart from all this,one thing I had realized. Blue never once said she loved me,only confessed her liking to me.An honest approach.While on the other hand I never considered her to be my cup of tea. I knew she could break me and unfold me in a unnerving way .I feared her.Still I found my life to be slowly revolving around her.My futile attempts of insulting her,taunting her,avoiding her like a plague or trying to slap her etc. did no good.Hurting myself seemed more bearable than hurting her.Even a small scratch on her made my blood boil.But amongst all this nuisance, Blue though being stubborn,remained patient for my sake.
She knew that I would come around...And ofcourse I had to come along because damn I was way beyond in love with her and she didn't even realized it nor did I at first.
If not like,then all she ever wished for was my friendship.
Friends were precious for her as she had none. She would talk but was always socially awkward. A clumsy disaster with her large spectacle adorned eyes always tucked in her books. Boring but fascinating.
And M.I.N.E.