"The feeling of abandonment
overwhelmed me as I realised
that no one had waited, or cared
where I was."
---------Emily Williams.
************
E.H.
The stairway was deserted yet somewhere in the lounge,laughter and music blared out.
The warden had given me the permission to visit Blue only in one condition. No harassing.
As I nodded in affirmation,she squinted her eyes through her glasses. She was like a strict granny.Then,she smiled and stood up to pat my hands and suddenly with haste she shoved me out of her office.
She was really strange.
Hurriedly I made my way to her dorm room.Standing outside her room with my hands looming to knock, I froze. What would I say to her?How would I persuade her?I dunno.....
While mulling over all this,the door suddenly swung open.Right next to the door, Blue stood.
Her roommate went out,slowly whistling as she took me.She was dressed out in Gothic fashion maybe for a party. As for Blue,she was in shorts and Barbie tee.Such a kid but what stung my heart was her disheveled look with her crimson puffy eyes.
Finding me here,she tried to avoid me by slamming the door on my face but I pushed in.
She settled over her comforter and looked anywhere other than in my direction.
I cleared my throat which had turned hoarse.
I dragged the the chair near her bed and grabbed her squirming hands. Her tears began seeping as few drops fell on my palm.
Slowly I wiped her tears and shushed her quiet.
And as she started to speak,I stopped her. It was my time to speak.
"You don't have to.Sorry, but I had to investigate about your problem so I know why you are leaving. Don't leave. If you want I can help by financing you and before you reject you can repay me back through your internships...Just stay."
She gazed up and simply rolled her eyes mockingly.She rambled,"Don't be silly.Its quite grave than it seems. Though I am working part time here but even then it would be years before I could repay you."
"Nothing matters other than my parents pride and their words to me.I can't just hurt their feelings when they are regretting themselves already. "
"And don't worry I will take admission there and I won't waste my year."
Listening her,I sensed her strong resolution but how could I give up on her,thus I tried to reason with her. It was of no avail.
In the end,she innocently asked one thing, "Why are you opposing?"
"If it's about our friendship rest assured that it won't break and as for my career don't stress out. "
"Moreover if you keep on this parade like a typical boyfriend, I would be embarrassed you know.....",she giggled.
Yet again I lost.
And I lost myself in the process.I lost her....