"LANCEY"
"Lancey, wake up."
Lancey opened her eyes in a dark room.
She roam her eyes trying to find where the voice calling her name came from. But there is no one inside.
She stare into space. It took a little time for her to remember what happened and where she was.
She was still in her hospital room and it seemed that she fainted after having another breakdown.
She move her eyes to the window where the moon can be seen. The full moon shines and gives some light to the darkness of the night.
It was a beautiful scenery.
Sadly, Lancey can't appreciate it's beauty.
She look at the wheelchair beside her bed and willed her body to move towards it. She took a deep breath and tried to move her feet to the sides. But her body won't listen to her. She can't help but to scoff at her ridiculous situation. Not only did she lost her right foot, her lower body was paralyzed as well.
What a joke.
Shaking her head, Lancey move her upper body and tried to reach for the wheelchair, when she finally took a hold of it, she turned it towards her. She didn't even noticed the needle from her dextrose was pulled out.
She heave a deep breath as droplets of sweat form on her forehead. Even doing such a simple thing is taking a toll on her body. Lancey sighed and decided to rest for a bit.
After awhile, she stretch her palms towards the bed and tried to lift herself until she was able to turn her back to the wheelchair. She then fumble searching for the armrest. After putting her two hands to the armrest, she pushed herself and successfully sat on it.
Her uneven breathing can be clearly heard in the silence of the night. She closed her eyes and rested for the second time.
"What are you doing?"
She abruptly opened her eyes after she heard the voice once again. But she still saw no one in sight.
"Who are you? Show youself!"
Despite her questioning, there was no one who answered.
She abruptly look around the dark room and saw no one inside but herself.
Lancey closed her eyes and tried to remember where she heard that familiar voice but failed.
A sigh escape her lips. It seems like everything she do just always ends up in failure. She is a failure.
A pretty big one at that.
She shook her head and then willed herself to move the wheelchair towards the door. She wanted to see the stars and vast sky.
The corridor was silent when she went out. Only the weak chatters and footsteps can be heard. Lancey began to maneuver the wheelchair, looking for an elevator.
Not long after Lancey made it, she pressed the up button and looked up to seebthe numbers above changing as the elevator made its ways to her floor.
"Where are you going?"
She whipped her head towards the right after hearing the same familiar voice she's been hearing since she woke up that night.
Just to find herself staring in an empty corridor. Who was that?
"You know who I am."
At the same time she turned her head to see who was talking, she heard the ringing of the elevator.
"No. I-I don't."
"Liar."
Lancey hurriedly turned her head towards the elevator and saw her own reflection on its glass wall. Her eyes widen in shock and she almost screamed out of it.
She soon closed her eyes and tried catching her breath. It must only be hallucination. That voice are only a fragment of her hallucination. It must be.
When she opened her eyes once again, her breathing already steaded as well as the beating of her heart. She then pressed the button for the second time and moved in as fast as she can once it opened. She then pressed the button for the top floor- the rooftop.
"I know what you're planning."
"I know the things you've been thinking."
"I know all the things about you. I know you too well, Lancey. Because..."
"You're my daughter."
"But daughter of mine, how could you abandon us like that?"
"Have you no conscience?"
"After all the things we've done for you? How can you leave us to die? "
"You worthless unfilial child."
Lancey heard it all. And though it hurts, she decided to ignore it and look at the moving numbers at the top of the elevator. She just wanted to get on the rooftop as soon as possible.
"You're going to jump, aren't you?"
Her body stiffened when she heard the question. "No.. I.. I w-won't."
The voice laughed at her stuttering lips. Its laugh echoes on her ears, mocking her for telling such an obvious lie. She bowed her head and covered her ears to stop it but the laugh seems to come from within her.
"S-stop! I said stop! "
The laugher stopped, as if listening to her plea. She waited, and after assuring that it was gone, she released a sigh of relief.
When she looked up, she was met with a vast dark sky illuminated by thousands of stars.
She went out of the elevator to have a better look at it. A single tear role down her right cheek as a distant memory played on her mind.
- - - - - - -
"What's your favorite part of the film?"
Lancey heard her sister asked her parents as the credit of the movie plays on the flat screened TV.
She heard her mother laugh and then said "It was when she learned that the guy is still with her even after death."
"Right! Becoming wind after death just to stay and protect his beloved really sounds romantic." Leanne chimed in excitedly.
"It is not only bound with such a superficial thing as being romantic, it goes beyond that Princess, it is an act of true love so pure it transcended even after death." her father said to her sister and hug her mother from behind.
Lancey couldn't help rolling her eyes because of her father's cheesy line and moves to her mother. A smile tagging at the corner of her lips as a warm fuzzy feeling filled her heart. It's been months since they had the chance to bond like today. She's been busy with work and had no time to visit their home, especially after moving out and having her own condominium unit.
"Wow! So that's how it is!" exclaimed her naive younger sister Leanne and added excited "Well, then I also want to become wind so that even if you can't see me, you can still feel me! What about you Big Sis?"
"I don't believe on those things. It was just a movie, don't get carried away." she answered in a flat tone just to tease and see her sister Leanne's irritated face.
Leanne sure didn't disappoint her as the former showed a very annoyed face. "You're really such a kill joy! Hmp!" the younger one barked at her with a glare.
Lancey almost couldn't stopped herself from bursting out loud because of her sister's red face.
"Mom! Big Sis is being annoying once again!" her sister complained while pouting and looking at their parents as if she was bullied.
That snap Lancey's thin control and she couldn't help laughing out loud as she gave her little sis a teasing smile.
"Okay, stop that already both of you." said her mother smiling.
"Hmp!" her sister continue pouting and turn to their mother. "Then if it was you Mom, what do you want to become?"
Her mother stop and look at the ceiling for a moment before smiling widely and answered Leanne.
Lancey took her glass of soda to drink as she continue listening to her family.
"If it was me, I'd like to become a star."
She glanced at her mother while drinking as her mother's answer piqued her interest.
"A star?" both her sister and father echoed in unison, then her father added "But you're already a star, a star that light my world that is."
Lancey almost choked on her drink because of what she heard. A series of cough escape her mouth as she and her mother both glared at her father.
"Ew! That is so corny Dad!" even Leanne couldn't take it and complained.
Her father on the other hand just burst out laughing and looked at them with softening eyes
Her mother with a red blush on her cheeks cleared her throat and never looked at her father's way again.
" Yes, a star." her mother continued as if the pick up line didn't happened.
"Why?"
"Because, stars don't move and is always above us, guarding us every second, everday"
"But I don't see the stars at day, don't they only shows theirselves at night?" Leanne inquired to where her mother smiled and answered. "You don't see them at day because it is too bright, but they never leave their place." her mother stopped then look at each one of them
"You see our dear daughters, stars always stayed at the same place watching over us all the time. Where ever you are, at daytime and even more so at night. So I want to be a star, so I can see all of you all the time, watch over you grow and live out your life."
"Wow!!! That's so amazing! Then I don't wanna be a wind anymore! I want to be a star just like Mom!" exclaimed Leanne before turning at her father, not bothering to ask Lancey for the second time. "What about you dad?"
Her father smiled "Then I'll be the sky in that case, so I can be with you forever."
- - - - - - -
Streams of tears continues to pour down her cheeks as the memory ended with their laugh filling up the surrounding.
Lancey looked at the sky filled of stars with longing despite her blurry vision.
Are they all in there? Up in the sky?
Are they watching her right now?
Can they see how miserable she is?
Can't she be with them?
Is it so wrong to wish to be with them?
Why?
She just want to be with her family.
Is... Is that so wrong?
"Yes. It was."
"How dare you wishing something so beautiful as that?"
"Trying to escape from all your sins, are you?"
"You can't just escape using death."
"Death is too light of a punishment for what you've done."
The voice laughed. Its laugh mocking and carring ridicule as if looking at something pathetic.
Later on, a hysterical laugh echoed in the silent night overlapping with the first one.
Lancey continue looking up with bloodshot eyes while laughing.
Right.
She doesn't deserve it.
That beautiful place.
She lowered her eyes and look at the surrounding and her laugh becomes louder.
She's alone.
Here. In this gloomy place.
This is where she belongs.