Fast forward to the day after tomorrow, which was a Wednesday. Nothing really happened yesterday, most probably because there was no class at all that day.
But I woke up feeling so happy, I don't know why. I mean like, that encounter with Kian didn't really stay in my mind. I didn't want it to because I would just become more scared by the minute that maybe he's playing with me.
But there's always that side of me that keeps on saying. "Keep going. You're almost there. He loves you." And that's not healthy though.
"Nathan! Take a bath now you're going to be late!" Aunt shouted. So I went outside holding the towel hanging by my left arm. Went in the bathroom thats was right beside my room. I removed my clothes and started to take a shower.
"Don't go too ahead of yourself." This time it was the green part of a watermelon slice. "I *burps* know. Rule Number 8: "Never indulge in times of good moods." I say to the blank air.
That's one of the most important ones that I made. Mostly because I always notice that whenever I feel happy or sad in this specific period of time, I become the total opposite.
"You know, you do have a point. I mean how could I do this to myself. Again?" I said as I threw slightly the apple back to my palm. "I know that all of this is happening for a reason. I mean, out of all the things that could happen, why those things, why these things. And most importantly, why not him?" I said as I looked closer to the apple.
"Fresh, delicious and fragrant." I said. "I feel like I'm the apple." I added as I sighed and put the apple down on the grass and felt a cold, embracing breeze run through me.
"Why?" The letters spelled as they appeared on the pristine skin of the red beauty.
"I don't know." I said as I laid back even more on the trunk of the tree and rested my arms on both my laps. "One day, I was just so normal in a sense that you could not see anything too wrong with me. But then this comes up and suddenly I just become this piece of trash that wants so much attention like I had before." I said.
Then I just sat there, waiting. For something. To finally happen.
Water was dripping. Mind was thinking. Heart of sorrow. Still beating. Unfortunately. But felt better. Like resurfacing from a pond starting from the very bottom.
I turned the water off and got quickly to my room. I changed as usual to my uniform and went out to ride a cab. Weirdly, I felt less embarrassed to go out because of my uniform. Not that it's bad or ugly but in our city, I think that we're one of the few schools that still have classes.
"What's so weird about that?" Letters spelt on a leaf that fell onto me. "I don't know. It's because whenever I go out, the other people from other schools look at me and stare. Some even laughed." I said.
I stood up and brushed my fingers across the trunk's roughness. "I kinda wished, this world could be true. That I'm on my own, no one to be sad because of me. No one to make me feel sad. To be out here, exploring the vast lands that terrain my world." I said as I smiled slightly.
Then my mind felt so peaceful at that time, like nothing could ever disrupt me. For the first time in a long time, I smiled because I wanted to.
Then a gust of wind gently caressed me. I put up my hand to my chest level in front of me as I felt the leaves fall, the wind blow and my emotions better.
Then I ran down the hill. Through the colorful, radiant grass my body brushed. I felt the wind blow against me and it felt so good. I laid down on the grass and laughed.
"Yes! I'm finally happy!" I said. Then I laid there a couple of seconds but started to feel my body's weight getting heavier. Then I fell asleep but woke up in another world.
I opened my eyes without feeling anything that stopped me. Just in time as I had awoken that we were actually very near from the school.
After I paid, we got out the cab and waved goodbye as we parted ways going to each of our classrooms. Then I had no problem going in. I saw Cathryn and I waved at her and she waved back.
And that was it. It's just that I still felt a bit shy talking to her. So I called Deanna on with me to go to the cafeteria to buy snacks.
"Hey, isn't your 3rd monthsary going to be on sunday?" Deanna asked me as the lady handed me a sandwich. "Yeah, why?" I smiled as I replied. "I can't believe you lasted this long!" She said as she stood by me as I paid for it.
"Yeah, me too." I said as we walked across the hallway. "What do you mean?" She stopped walking and looked at me with a scared face. "I think that..." I said while I was deciding to tell her if I like Kian or not. "Since this is my first love, well I'm just shocked that it lasted this long! I'm pretty sure that we can make it through a hundred years!" I said regretfully.
"Oh, ok. I thought you were going to say that you wanted to break it. Haha." She said as she walked faster on the stairs and left me behind.
I finished my sandwich and catched up to her before she could enter the room. I tried to be silent to startle her from behind. I approached her gently while sneaking. My hands ready to lay on her shoulders.
"Wahh!" She said as she turned around. "AH!" I said in a low pitch so loud, I jumped so high in that postion but got back down to push her while I was entering the room.
"You're so bad! What the hell?!!!" I said as I laughed in to the classroom while pushing her in. Then I sat beside her seat that was located in front of the room.
"Who planned it first?" She said that left me silent. "Alright! You got me!" I yelled with a face that didn't want to accept the defeat. "I could hear your "tippy toes" from a mile away, you're too fat!" She said laughing in the end. "Heh, lucky you're just 50 not 80 like me!" I said laughing a bit.
"Wait what? You're 80 kilograms?!" She said with an open mouth. "No, I'm actually 37." I said with a sarcastic face with my legs crossed and my chin resting on my hand that rested on my lap.
"Deanna!" Kate shouted from afar.
"What?" She said turning around and left me hanging.
I was there. Alone. With my mind raging about my emotions. Then I saw Rose at the back, studying with Kian and Jeff and Jack as usual. Then I sighed turning 'round to the desk itself. I laid on my arms as I was deep in thought. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" I asked myself as I was sitting all alone, under the tree, thinking.
"Don't think that way." Another leaf one fell down and spelt all the words.
"How can't I? They all are my friends since Kindergarten!" I said as I stood up. "Now, I treat them like strangers." I said as I banged slightly my fist straight to the trunk.
I put my hands against the trunk, I looked down and said. "I can't live like this anymore. I wanna go home. Home. I wanna see Mom so bad." Tears fell out. "I feel like I'm just overreacting, right?" I said to myself.
"Wake up." The very cold breeze brushed through me. I stopped crying and saw that the skies turned red with blue and black. The breeze became stronger. "Oh no, I'm falling apart." I said.
"Wake up." A leaf spelt as the breeze blew it away before I could throw it away. " No! This is my world! I wanna live here forever!" I said running down the hill then it rained.
I wanted to be free so bad. I wanted to be alone. From everything in this world. I ran down more and more going down nearly halfway so wet from the heavy rain. Then I tripped on a rock and sprained my ankle.
"AH!" I screamed out of pain and horror as I could feel my body tumbling, rolling, hurting. I feel so dizzy and distorted. Everything's blurry but something's clear in the sky. "Things are just getting worse. And worse. " I said with all my strength before I could pass out under the rain with my white clothes dyed red from all the wounds opened.