[ ["Everlyn."]
[When I turned to look, I saw the beautiful woman standing at my doorway. She wore a soft smile that I knew was only a mask. As she came closer, I merely stood there until she towered over me. "Everlyn.. are you trying to kill me?" Her voice sounded sweet, but like always, they were packed with poison. "I'm your mother. Why would you kill your mother?"]
[My lips and body were frozen. The woman begins stroking my head softly, twisting my silver hair with her long fingers. When got to the ends, she moved her icy cold hands to my cheeks, giving them a pinch. "I've always been kind to you.. even though you were that woman's child.. I've treated you nicely and left you alone." She lowered her hands to my shoulders. "It's been hard doing so though.. Because when I see you who looks nothing like me.. I feel like doing something I shouldn't.]
[Her hands wrapped around my throat, but I don't retaliate. I just look at her. "Everlyn. I am your mother, yet you are not my child. You are born from a whore. Your mother gave birth and abandoned you in this world. And left you here to curse us. But with grace from your father, you were allowed to live.. Because you have some use, he let you live.. He said to let you live. But when I look at you, I only wish for your death." Her grip around me tightened. "Can you do it for me? Can you die for me?" Unable to breathe, my body released from its rigid state and goes to remove her hands. It is at that moment when the two of us hear....]
["My darling wife, what did I tell you about succumbing to these worthless feelings?"]
[The woman untwisted her fingers from my neck and I gasped for air. "I know... It's just I couldn't help it this time. I will be sure not to take things too far next time." To her word's I could only think, 'Next time?']
[In the back of the two, a miniature version of the woman walks out. Her hair is honey-blonde and her eyes were as blue as the ocean in the day. She's dressed like a princess doll with a bright-pink, frilly dress. Her plump lips open to say, "Mother, father, hurry up! I still want chocolate cake."]
[Answering her with a gentle voice, her mother assures her, "Only for the finest confections for my sweet daughter." The two walk out and the man followed suit. None of them spared a glance at me before shutting the door behind them.] ]
~
When I open my eyes, I see that it's still nighttime from the faint sliver of light escaping from the tiny opening in the curtains. 'Around this time, I would have usually gotten out of bed to sneak out..' Feeling a bit sleepy still, I stay under the covers and turn over. In my past life as Everlyn, I often had dreams such as these, ones that woke me up at strange hours. I wonder why even now after Everlyn has died, my mind still tries to haunt me with memories of people that cannot affect me anymore.
'There's no use in thinking about why I'm so messed up in the head.. I'm alive...'
I turn over once more and wiggle around a bit to a comfortable sleeping position. Then trying to rid all thoughts from my mind, I close my eyes and fall back to sleep.
~~~
From what I could recall about the story I was in, the main protagonist was the Crown Prince Arren Reize Carnis. After the assassination of his parents, the former King and Queen, the former King's brother, Arren's Uncle, became the proxy regent for Arren who was too young for succession. Knowing that the death of his parents was the doing of his uncle and aunt, Arren swore that he would need to prepare proper revenge one day.
Burdened with something so heavy, Arren becomes a lifeless machine whose sole purpose was vengeance. However, just when he was about to lose all of himself, he met a girl who somehow brought feeling back into his life. It was the copper-haired, Michelle Vex Reed. In the last chapter I read, Arren was fascinated by Michelle's dislike for the Queen, not knowing that in actuality, she was working for the Queen to get Arren to fall in love with her.
Although I'm more than interested in how the story ends up and how these characters act as real people, I don't see a need to cause more trouble for myself. Especially when I had more than enough drama when I was Everlyn.
Yeah... No more drama. Feeling resolved, I've decided. "Let's live a long and prosperous life. No politics, no drama."
If only life could be that easy.
Unfortunate for me I was the Duke's daughter, meaning I would more or less be married and therefore forced into politics.
As I sit at my desk re-reading the secret notes I wrote after my awakening, I bite my lip and tap my small fingers. 'I can't become depressed like this... No.. because being a daughter of a Noble should be a good thing. If I was born as a common citizen, it could have ended horribly. Although I've learned to do some things myself when I was Everlyn, I could have quite possibly become an eyesore from my lack of skill..' However, I was blessed with another chance in life, maybe I could try becoming an expert in something and wiggle my way out of marriage instead.
'If I could be anything in life.. what would it be?' *tap, tap.. tap, tap* 'Something I'd want to do..'
Feeling a bit frustrated, I decided to put that question on the back burner. 'Fine.. how about goals? I've always done things by taking a step at a time. In order to live happily and freely, what should I do..'
As Everlyn, I had quite a list of things I wanted to accomplish. None of them were occupational-related, but they were still goals of mine. A few of them were exposing the dirty scum in the ruling class for their hidden crimes and agenda, destroying my own Ducal house, and preventing the Crown Prince, my ex-fiance, from taking power. Unfortunately, I couldn't accomplish any of them as I sadly died at the young age of 16.
Like always, my face starts to scowl at the thought of how I failed miserably. I sigh as I remember how pathetic everything turned out to be. 'Really.. there is no reason for me to dwell on the past. I can only live as her now...'
In the beginning, when I was getting used to the body of 'Lucy', I wondered if it would be appropriate for me to take on Lucy's role. However, with me being mentally older, I found that the possibility of acting as 'Lucy' was absolutely zero. Saying things like 'Papa' or 'Big Brother' or 'I love you so very much' were impossible for me who could only handle such sweetness in books.
Now that time has passed and everyone else has become more accepting of the fact that the sweet and adorable girl who was 'Lucy' is gone, I showed myself more, the me who was a bit prickly and reserved. However, even though they are more accepting, I can easily sense that their hopes for the return of the innocent girl, or at the very least her memories. Because of this, I gained another reason as to why it was wrong to call Luca as Brother or the Duke as Father. It truly is not my place to do so. If I did, I would only be deceiving them and myself. After all, I am not, nor will ever be the real 'Lucy.'
'Without a doubt, I'm taking the secret that the Lucy they loved has already died in my grave.'