Another few month passed and the seasons changed again. Outside my window, winter had come to us excitingly. In the previous seasons, there wasn't much color outside the castle. Although it wasn't bleak, I couldn't say that it was brimming with life. But when I compare it to other noble residences I knew as Everlyn, it was quite lacking.
That was until now.
After the first snowfall a week ago, the outside has become what I read to be a 'Winter-Wonderland.' Every inch of the earth was covered in a blanket of snow and ice. The tall pine forest and short shrubbery turned pure-white and crystal icicles hanged down right outside my window. Living near by the ocean, I never experienced snow before. So, the longer I look, the more I'm tempted to ask if I could go outside. But, up until know, they've treated me as if I was a glass doll, rightfully so. Even if I the body's fever subsided, I felt Lucy's pain. It's hard to take chances considering this.
Knock. Knock.
Muffled by the door, I hear Luca's voice. "Lucy. Are you up?"
Finding it odd to hear him visit this time of day, I respond, "Ah. Yes."
The door opens a bit eerily and after a moment, two silvery heads jump out in surprise. I stare in curiosity of what they could possibly be doing. Then, with broad grins on their faces, the two enthusiastically exclaim, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCY!!"
Unsure of how to feel about being congratulated for a dead girl's birthday, I respond confusedly, "...Thank you?"
Neither are bothered by my reciprocated excitement.
"..Don't you two have work to do?"
They shake their heads energetically.
".. Then was there something else..."
They then look to each other with an overjoyed expression and nod. The duo steps aside and at that moment, a squadron of maids pushing racks of dresses and holding boxes of accessories flood into the room. 'What the...'
The Duke walks toward me first and picks me up from underneath the arms like I really was a doll. Then he gleefully twirled us a few times before setting me back down on the ground.
While I was dizzy in mind and body, he knelt to my eye level and hugged me tight. "My dear daughter, I know papa has not been the best father in the world, but please allow me to make up for it for your birthday!"
Motioning his hands to the excessive amount of presents behind him then said, "I hope you accept them! I tried to get you more, but Luca was very scrupulous."
Irked, Luca scoffed, "How could you make Lucy wear things that should never be worn, let alone seen? Speaking of which.." He looked to me in perplexity. "Lucy, how is it that your taste of fashion is so bad? I understand that you haven't really had a chance to see the latest styles, but still.. as a daughter of a nobleman, how could you describe a nightgown as your most favorite type of dress? You should have a greedier taste as a girl! Do you know how much I chastised Celine for continuously bringing me such an answer?"
'Ah.. so that's why she kept asking me that question.' I look to the smiling woman standing beside the maid squadron and then I stared back at the mountainous pile of frills and bows taking up half my room.
Luca to takes hold of my hand and pulls me closer to what should be every girls' dream, but...
"This... This is too much."
'All this... it's for Lucy.' I take a step back and resolute myself before saying, "I do appreciate the thoughts... really.... and efforts all of you have put in to shower me with such gifts, but I can't accept these. It's.. too much.."
Like I've committed a heinous crime, the women in the room gasp in horror. Luca and the Duke just... deflate. It's painful to see them like this... but I must take a stance.
Luca lets go of my hand and downheartedly asks, "Then.. would you pick the ones you like?"
Still overwhelmed, I shake my head.
The Duke once again kneels to my eye level. I find it hard to look him straight in the eyes, "Do you not like these?"
I shake my head. "It's not that..."
"Then is there a reason you do not want them?"
"No.."
"If there is no reason, then why?"
"... I just.. they don't suit me. It'd just end up going to waste on me."
He lets out a sigh. "I don't know why you say that. You're a beautiful girl Lucy.. but if it's not something you want, then I cannot force it on you."
He places me back to my original position near the window. "Was there something you do wish for then?"
Subconsciously, I think of books but again deny, "...No. Nothing in particular."
"I see.." Kissing me on the forehead. He doesn't say anything more to me and orders for the room to clear out as he leaves. At that moment, I notice that Luca is gone as well. 'I hope that he isn't too mad with me..'
As Everlyn, I don't recall ever celebrating my birthday. With a family that treated me as a thorn on their side, a Fiance who only saw me as a plaything, and allies who didn't even know my true identity, I only passed the day as if it was another unimportant day in the calandar.
'I'm Lucy. But I'm not. How can I take these things and call them mine?' Closing my eyes, I lean my head on the cold window.
"-y Lady." Turning back to the door, I see my toffee-haired caretaker seeming to have something to say. "My Lady, was there anything you needed before I take my leave?"
Feeling a bit melancholic, I take a while to respond. "... No."
The perceptive woman closes the door behind her and comes toward me with concerned eyes. "Are you not feeling well?"
"No.. I'm fine."
She continues her way to me and places a hand on my forehead. ".. Your temperature seems alright. Are you hurting anywhere?"
I give a pressed smile before shaking my head. "No.. I'm okay."
Her hand lowers. "If you begin to feel unwell, just let me know, okay?" She heads back to the door and for some reason, I call out, "Celine."
"Yes, My Lady?"
I take a moment to think of what it was that I wanted to ask her. "... Do you think I'm a bad person?"
"Of course not, My Lady."
"Then do you think it was bad of me to not accept their gifts?"
The woman hesitates a bit. "My Lady, may I give you my honest opinion?"
Wondering what it is that she has to say, I nod.
"I have served my lady even before you were born. Though you do not remember, I was by your side when you were awfully sick. Each day was a struggle for you, but you pushed through it. Each day, I'd report to the Duke about your condition. There were times where I thought he reconciled with... what we thought was the inevitable. Then he'd say things like 'when Lucy gets better or Lucy will like this.' It was the same for the Young Master. They both tried to remain positive, but in their hearts they were worried that I would, one day, bring them bad news.. They were always scared that one day-" She didn't want to finish that sentence, but I understood. "It has been more than half a year since you've had any episodes. Forget about age or years, the Masters only wish was to celebrate that you are alive and well."
While she told me all this, her gaze never once wavered. I felt ashamed. How wrong I was... 'I only thought from my perspective and trampled on their precious. Such pure love... I dont deser-'
No... Even though I am not who they think I am, they still care for me... They care for Lucy and I hurt them. I whisper my thought, "I'm not bad... I'm horrible."
Hearing this, my ever frantic caretaker denied profusely, "No, My Lady! You are a good child. I'm sorry, I should have kept such thoughts to myself."
"No, Celine. I'm happy that you told me. Thank you. Also, do you think you can do me a favor?"
Still unsure, she nods, "Of course."
"Can you perhaps, go and pick out a dress from the ones they chose and bring it back here?"
"Of course!" As soon as she could, the woman leaves the room and shuts the door.
'For the Duke. For Luca. For Lucy, I must do my best.