If I was asked if I saw this coming, I would have, without a doubt, said, 'Of course.' After all, I most definitely brought this upon myself. At first, I just wanted to escape my damned fate. But when I was presented with the opportunity, I asked for more while understanding that there was a great possibility of less. I couldn't keep my resentment to myself and kept pushing the boundaries, hoping for a perfect future instead of one of haunting and regret. And because of this, I met my end.
It was the night of the Country's anniversary ball. All of the upper-echelon nobles have come wearing extravagant dresses and suits in 'celebration' for another year. After fulfilling the last of my duties as the Crown Prince's Fiance, I excused myself from the festivities and make my way to a quiet terrace a ways away from the ballroom. Wanting to be alone, I order my maid and guard to wait at the door. Heeding my orders, they stay behind and I head to the railing overlooking the black ocean beneath me.
It was an beautiful night with the ocean waves reflecting the hazy silver. I listened to the tranquil sound of water hitting the rocks below. '...below. There's something...' A noise catches my ear. Peering over, I hear the whistle again. Underneath, in a shadowed waters where moonlight was unable to reach, was a small boat. 'Smugglers?'
In every way imaginable, I knew how dirty this place was. Crawling with hypocrites who would go against laws and rules that they and their ancestors created. This was the royal palace. It is where most would turn a blind eye to misdeeds and injustice as long as it didn't affect their way of life. Things like smugglers or slave-traders weren't a priority during such a grand event as tonight.
After doing an exchange, they quietly sailed away. If it was just yesterday, I would have already been on my way to stop them, but tonight, I was tired. I couldn't do it anymore. I tried walking the right path, but somehow, I found myself at a dead end. 'I failed..' For a bit longer, I look at the waters beneath me. The shadowed area that is pitch black feels inviting. My curiosity takes hold of me and I climb onto the railing. As the darkness stares back at me, I stare back at it like a reflection.
'Once I die, the world doesn't end. Once I die, nothing will change.. except... the fact that I will be free from this hell.'
I take one last moment to enjoy this thought of solace, then I climb down from the railing and onto the terrace.
Feeling ready to face reality, I step away from the railing and head back towards the door. It was just as I was about to reach for the handle did it open.
Heavy make up.. pink frills.. and the stench of sweet-smelling perfume. I step back, withholding my need to gag.
"Oh, pardon me, dear sister. I did not mean to surprise you. I noticed your maid and guard at the door and came to greet you as I did not have the chance to do so earlier." Her voice is high and nasally. It was the model that the capital's noblewomen have been foolishly imitating as of late.
I look at her with cold eyes, ones that clearly show my disdain for her. "I see. I've heard your greeting, so I'll head back inside now."
She raises her hand, creating a whipping sound with her fan. From behind her, my guard and maid step out from behind the door and shut it quietly. I narrow my grey eyes and seeing how their usually composed faced were replaced by ones of remorse. Clenching my angry fists, I try to keep my own composure. "Sister, it is quite cold outside and I must head back to the ballroom soon. I am sure that my dear fiance is wondering where I've gone."
Her beautiful face bends upwards into a joyful smile. "Oh, sister! Are those cold eyes of yours blind? Do you believe the care for a woman like you?! You who have long ago been abandoned by him. You cannot even say such a thing as a joke!"
I can feel warm blood moisten my palms. Unable to retort the truth in her words, I remember the scene just a bit ago when I entered the ballroom alone. As I descended the staircase, I ignored all but one person's content stare. When I saw him, I could see the satisfaction in his eyes. It was satisfaction that said I got what I deserved.
Her nasally voice goes up an octave as she becomes more elated. "You're aware of what is happening today, right? I mean, after all, the evidence that has been found about your disloyalty to the crown prince, there's no way you don't know. You had fun doing it, too. Scheming for his downfall; that is. You surely knew that if you came today, it would be your end. Don't worry when everything is done, I will be sure to kindly comfort the man."
Knowing I have nothing to lose, I scoffed at her words, "Evidence. Do you mean my investigations on how dirty this place is? I didn't prepare for his downfall, I only tried to expose his tyrannical nature to the people of the Kingdom. I was going to allow the people to dictate how to deal with their 'righteous' rulers. Although... how funny is it that you speak to me as if you will take my place after this? If you wanted to sit on the throne, you should have begged father to make you the Third Prince's Fiance at the beginning instead of forcing me. After all, I never had intentions to sit beside to that disgusting seat. But since my adorable little sister gifted it to me, I did my best cleaning up the place so that I wouldn't be served by filthy rats."
Her blonde brow twitched in anger. "I do not think that you understand how much of a ruckus you made hunting down these so-called rats. You almost caused a civil war by trying to expose the private lives of-"
"Rats. Rats are still rats even if they wear a pink dress and douse themselves in bottles of perfume." I finished.
I can hear her teeth grinding. Always delivering, never receiving insults. She's weak.
Without another word, I step to the side to head for the door when the two traitors block me out. "Move," I order sharply. However, the two just stare motionlessly at me. I haven't noticed until now, but I'm drenched in sweat. I knew this was coming, but I refuse for it to be here... by her hands.
Amused at my loss of confidence, her laugh is both a cackle and a giggle. "Everlyn, who are you kidding? Even powerless servant wouldn't heed the commands of a dead woman."
With a shamefully trembling hand, my guard reached for his hilt and my maid lowers her head as she hands my sister a silver dagger. Though I can clearly see the blades pointing toward me, I didn't move. When I woke up this morning, I knew I was dead. Coming here tonight, I already knew I was dead. Descending the stairs, I already knew I was dead. When I was caught attempting to publish all of their crimes in the papers, I knew I was already dead. 'I'm prepared for this.'
However, contrary to what I thought, when I saw the shining silver moving toward me, I ran.
Rushing back to the railing, I reached out to the black ocean before me when I felt it, a coldness in my chest, my hand only grasped air. Before coming here, I told myself that I would not make a sound when they killed me. I did not want to give them complete satisfaction. But when I felt that coldness in my heart, I screamed terribly. Looking down, I could see a silver blade sticking out of my left breast. It was painful. So much so that I shouldn't be even able to think of anything else. And yet, in the midst of my agony, my unpredictable mind wondered, 'Why does the blade look so clean? Should it not be red with my blood?'
After what I guessed was a moment's time, my guard retracted the sword as I fell face down to the ground. Blood started to go up my throat as if the hole in my chest was not big enough for it to flow through. She turned me over with a look of twisted satisfaction and sliced my face with the dagger. Blood splattered like stars on her sun-kissed face. "Oh, Everlyn. Why did you have to be so troublesome? If only you knew how much pain you caused me by being alive...." Her voice trailed off before asking, "Why did he love you? It was horrible watching him only look at you."
'Love? That bastard can love?'
"But, I guess I should also thank you for not returning that love. Because of that, I was able to capture his heart."
'What heart? How can the heartless give their heart?'
She started to cut me deeper. With maddened eyes, she smiled. "I've always wanted to mess up this beautiful face of yours. After all, it was the reason my prince fancied you so much. Hey... Did you know that if you only you were born just a bit uglier, if you were just slightly more stupid, if you just never existed, you wouldn't have had to die! If you want to blame anyone for this, blame your WHORE mother when you see her in hell." Finally, she starts to stab. The chest, the stomach, the neck. I don't know anymore, I'm just hurting everywhere.
My screaming had already been silenced as coldness takes over. Blood loss numbed my body. Feeling heavy, the lids of my eyes closed.
As my consciousness.. no... as my life drifted away, my maid and guard lifted me up and tossed me over the railing that I was originally trying to jump off of. 'Honestly.. what was the point of stabbing me to death if I could have just died from falling on the rocks below?'
While I fell, I saw my life unfolding in my mind. I remembered my childhood. Being left alone, I surrounded myself with books, ones about fairy-tales and myths. At the time, I childishly wished for happiness that I often read about when I finished a story. I remembered my heartless father's remarriage and my step-mother's first words to me. 'Unsightly,' she said. Hearing this, my father merely agreed. I remember my first time seeing death. It was of a poor enslaved maid who kindly tried to sneak me leftover sweets from a tea party. When I was found enjoying them, she was executed for stealing. I remembered how I became fixated on learning anything and everything I could. So that I could somehow empower myself, I often visited the royal library at night when it was empty to study a sum of important topics. At one point, I began having headaches when I studied for too long, so I learned it was necessary to take a break. I remembered how that was around the time when I stumbled across a tiny shelf for fiction novels in a hidden corner of the library. I wasn't too sure why such a place existed, but I was glad that I had the chance to discover it. I was almost able to completely read everything there. I even was able to begin reading the last of them. It was my favorite genre, too, a romance novel.
I finally hit something. It was the ocean's surface. I was so sure that I was going to fall on one of the rocks though... 'I guess that was why they stabbed me first... If they didn't, I might've survived.'
I was quite that I was no longer breathing since there is no air to breathe within the dark waters... Oddly, I felt calm... I wondered if I was still alive. I assumed so since I was still thinking...
It was a weird experience, my moment before death. I should probably start cursing everyone before I die. As I finish listing names in my head, yet another random thought crosses my mind.
'I didn't get very far in that book... I wonder how it ends.' And with that simple thought.. my calm body sinks into the black water.