There were more people in the library as expected. Though there were many, it was almost dead silent because the new library assistant is very strict. If she heard even just a whisper, she'll look at the direction where it was coming and hush that person up. It was kind of humiliating though.
Audrey was doing her homework ahead of schedule together with Aiden. They were sitting side by side for it's easier to share the same book in this way. Audrey was expecting Kylie to come with her but as expected, she was busy with her suitor.
Though somehow it started to feel lonely thinking that her best friend is busy with someone else now, she's happy to know that she's happy. Though they only meet at the library once in a while for homework and research after their homeroom, she was glad that Aiden didn't really distanced himself from her for she thought that it might be too lonely if that certainly happened.
At the middle of he reading, she was reminded about asking him regarding to his statement earlier. She wanted to speak to him but she was afraid that she might get called out by the new library assistant. So, she took out a notebook and decided to use it as her means of communication with Aiden.
She wrote, "Hey. I want to ask you something." She gave her notebook to Aiden and told him without a voice, "Read it."
He obediently read what it says and chuckled as he looks back at her. Audrey looked at him and asked voiceless, "What?"
Aiden just shook his head saying that it was nothing. He then replied on the notebook and wrote, "Sorry. I was just surprised that you'll write here. I'm just sitting beside you, you know."
Audrey sighed and wrote back, "Didn't you see the new library assistant? She's scary!"
The two continued to use the notebook as their private messenger. Before Audrey started to forget what she really wanted to ask she then wrote, "By the way, about what you said earlier…what does that mean?"
"What part?"
"When you said that you found the girl that you've been looking for but not exactly?"
"Ah that…"
Audrey observed his reaction. He put his left elbow on the table using it as a support as he leans his forehead on his left hand. He looked like he's thinking about something deep. So, she wrote, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. No need to stress yourself out."
"It's just. It's hard to explain."
Aiden can't just directly say that she's been the one who he's been looking for, for she might freak out. And that's not the only reason why he can't tell her that. If she learns to find out the truth why he's trying to conceal his identity to her, she might hate him.
He then wrote, "Actually, I did find her."
"Shouldn't that be good? Why do you look sad? Is she taken already by somebody else? Is that it?"
"No…it's not like that. She's single. It's just that…I think that it's actually better if I won't let her know that I found her."
"WHAT? Why?"
"You see, some things are better left not to be said or done."
"Is it that complicated?"
"If you were to happen to be that girl what would you do?" Aiden looked at her seriously waiting what her reaction might be.
Audrey was almost surprised so she asked, "What do you mean?"
Aiden sighed and wrote, "Let's just use you as example okay? Let's say that we haven't met for a while. You and I used to be close enough and all that's needed is for us to get married. But one day, I suddenly left at the peak where you needed me the most. You then started to move on without me. Then after a couple of years I suddenly appeared in front of you. How will you react?"
Audrey paused, trying to internalize what the situation might be. She thought if she were the girl and that they were really close enough and that they happened to be suddenly separated she would surely feel sad, yet probably worried. After gathering her thoughts, she then decided to wrote back at the notebook.
"If we were truly really close, I would want to know the reason why you left. I might get mad but I know I'll definitely cry because all my emotions will start to overflow. I would be so angry knowing that you suddenly left me when I needed you the most but I will be so relieved knowing that you're okay after all those years. Remembering all the moments that we've been together might help restore my faith in you."
"Actually, she kind of saw me but it seems that she can't remember me at all."
"What? Are you serious? Does she have a huge memory gap or something?"
"I guess..."
"Anyways, if that's the case then…" Audrey paused, making Aiden nervous about what her reply might be. He even started fidgeting his own hands anxiously.
Audrey locked her gaze on to him, as if trying to find some answer beyond his eyes. When she found the words she wanted to convey, she then wrote carefully and said, "If all that's left for us is to get married, I'm sure that I'm so in love with you. Even if I may tend to forget you, I'm certain that if the mind can't remember, the heart can. Whatever your reasons may be for leaving me, I'm certain that it might be for my own good. No one will just suddenly leave without saying goodbye with no reason specially if you love that person too. If you'll ask forgiveness, I'm sure I'll definitely forgive you."
After Aiden read her reply, he started shedding a tear unknowingly. Though he knew that Audrey might have only said those words to somehow cheer him up, he was happy enough that those words came from her that there might be a chance that she might really forgive him after all what he's done.
Audrey was surprised to see Aiden's response after reading her reply. She saw a tear fall right off his cheeks. She panicked and suddenly cupped his cheeks and held his face with both of her hands that made him face her.
He was full sadness at that very moment that it's contagious that she wanted to cry. She knows that if he's trying to hold a tear from falling off, there must be a bucket waiting for it to be shed.
Aiden was surprised that he shed a tear without realizing it but he was more surprised seeing Audrey's reaction. She looked at him very worried that it almost looked like she was about to cry. Though she wasn't saying anything, it made him feel that she's saying that it's okay.
He then smiled and said almost inaudible, "Thank you. I'm so glad that I met you."