It sounded like one of his thoughts but yet different. The moment the thought appeared, it grew like a vine, evading every corner of his mind.
"What the…. Heck no, no one in their right mind would kill themselves for something so stupid"
He knew he was talking to himself yet it felt like there was something else replying in his mind.
"DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A HERO, DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A FANTASY LAND, DON'T YOU WANT THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRANSCEND MORTALITY?"
The voice came with such an imposing tone that it began causing him headache, making him hold his head and grumble with pain.
"What… is… happ…ning" he mumbled in agony.
All of a sudden the pain vanished and his mind became calm. He didn't think about what had just happened instead he found himself considering the idea.
"The opportunity to transcend mortality… what if this is real,"
"What if this is my first test to become a hero,"
His mind had been corrupted by the dream of a new world. He had dipped his hand into the unknown and now there was no going back.
He picked up the gun and placed it under his chin.
'What am I doing, am I really going to kill myself,'
His heart began pounding once again, he was so scared but his index finger began descending on the trigger. It felt like something was calling to his soul.
His hand was trembling so he had to use both hands to hold the revolver. Deep down he knew he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life, but thank goodness even if it was he wouldn't be alive to regret it.
-Bang-
The bullet passed through his head, exiting at the other end, accompanied by blood and other brain matter, his lifeless body dropped to the floor.
….
Ezra opened his eyes to find himself standing in a bright open space, with pillars of radiant light that stretched into the heavens, their brilliance too intense to gaze upon directly. The floor beneath his feet was neither floor nor sky but something beyond comprehension, with the air shimmering like tiny suns.
At the center of it all, seated upon a throne of burning radiance was the god. The being looked like a human, but upon first sight Ezra could tell that he was something far more greater. With a size that was almost double his while sitted and eyes with twin eclipse swallowing all light yet radiating grace and eloquence, he knew he was standing before a god.
"I'm… not dead?" He tapped all over his body in disbelief.
"That means… it worked?" His disbelief expression slowly turning into joy.
"It actually did work!"
The figure on the throne wore a confused but disinterested look
"Who are you?" He asked, his voice sounding majestic and beautiful. It was like a thousand sweet hymns yet it held a deep sense of supremacy that would make anyone shiver in fear.
From the fantasy works Ezra had read, he suspected that this was the god that summoned him. That was how it normally went at least, a god would summon a normal person to be a hero in another world.
'but I'd have preferred if it was a beautiful goddess with big… but this is still great'
He cleared his throat before speaking,
"oh great one, my name is Ezra and I have given up my life to answer to your summoning"
He bowed his head in respect as he spoke.
The god's empty expression shifted for a brief second.
"You gave up your life?"
Ezra lifted his head, smiling proudly,
"Yes great one, I shot myself with a gun for the chance to stand before you"
This time the god's eyebrows shot up, unable to hide his confusion
"Then how did you get here?" He asked.
Ezra was confused as well, he didn't know any other answer to the question, "I- I read th-"
The god didn't wait for him to finish explaining the circumstance of his arrival, appearing right before him in an instance.
Up close he looked even bigger, seeing his grandiosity Ezra was certain that this was a god,
'but does he really not know who I am?'
The god calmly placed his hand on Ezra's head, there wasn't any words said but it felt like he was watching Ezra's memories, his life from birth up until this moment.
Then he began laughing, "you really did kill yourself"
Ezra couldn't understand what was going on anymore, he chuckled sheepishly.
"Yeah, to show my faith in you I gave you my life"
But his words suddenly wiped the smile off the god's face,
"And who said your life was yours to give?" His deamenor had changed in an instance and with it so did the atmosphere.
His eyes wore a look of utter disgust and displeasure as he mocked Ezra.
"How would you take your own life just like that, to be honest I understand, seeing as you never accomplished anything with your pathetic life"
He returned to his throne.
"But still did your life hold no value to you that you could just so easily throw it away,"
Ezra was dumbfounded, he had no words of defense. He was stuck in between listening to the god tell him how much of a waste he was and wondering why the god would even do that in the first place when he summoned him, he was only here because he followed the instructions in the mysterious envelope.
"But, I did it… for you" he mumbled, shakingly
"For me?" The god laughed once again,
"don't lie to yourself, you did it for your own greed, you did it so you could become a hero, and for that you shall never be a hero".