The Adventurer's Guild Headquarters was no stranger to chaos.
Whether it was brawls between drunk warriors, mages accidentally summoning things they shouldn't, or the occasional wyvern crashing through the ceiling, the guild could handle just about anything.
But today…
Today was different.
Because Reed Astoria, the only SSS+ ranked adventurer in history, had just announced his retirement.
And nobody knew how to process it.
---
"You're WHAT?!"
The entire guild froze.
Weapons clattered to the ground.
Drinks were spilled.
A rogue choked on his own beer.
Even the guild's enchanted request board, which normally updated in real-time with quests, glitched for the first time in history.
Reed, meanwhile, simply stood at the front counter, completely unbothered.
Across from him, Ariana Lysteria, the guild's top receptionist, looked like she was about to explode.
Her golden eyes twitched violently.
"I'm sorry," she said, dangerously calm. "I must have misheard."
Reed sighed. "I said, I'm retiring."
Dead silence.
Then—
"YOU'RE WHAT?!"
The entire guild descended into chaos.
---
"Is He Joking?!"
"RETIRING?!" an armored knight screamed, nearly dropping his sword.
"LIKE HELL HE IS!" a beastkin berserker roared.
"DOES HE MEAN 'RETIRING' AS IN, 'BECOMING A KING' OR SOMETHING?"
"NO, I THINK HE MEANS LITERAL RETIREMENT!"
"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SSS+ RANKED ADVENTURER RETIRES?!"
Even the guild master, an old dwarf with a legendary beard that had been braided so many times it had its own defense rating, peeked out of his office.
"Oi, oi… boy, what in the blazes are ye talkin' about?! Ye can't just… retire!"
Reed rubbed his temples. He had expected a reaction, but this was just annoying.
"Look," he said, already exhausted. "I've been doing this for years. I've fought demon lords, eldritch horrors, world-ending catastrophes, and at least three necromancers who all claimed to be 'the ultimate mastermind.'"
He leaned forward, his tired blue eyes staring into Ariana's soul.
"All I want now… is to run a food shop."
"…"
Ariana grabbed the counter for support.
"A FOOD SHOP?!"
She screamed so loudly that a glass mug shattered in the background.
Reed nodded. "Yeah."
"You're telling me…" Ariana took a deep breath, as if struggling to remain sane. "You just finished a solo quest against an ancient demon dragon, and now you're saying you want to open a café?!"
"Not a café. Just a small local food shop in my hometown."
Ariana gripped the counter so tightly it cracked.
"Reed."
"Yeah?"
"You've saved the world like, seven times."
"Eight."
"YOU COUNTED?!"
"Not on purpose."
The surrounding adventurers were breaking down.
"The strongest adventurer in history… flipping pancakes?!"
"What a waste of talent!"
"He has single-handedly defeated a demon lord's entire army, and now he wants to sell soup?!"
"SOMEONE STOP HIM!"
---
"We Refuse to Accept This."
Reed exhaled deeply. "Look, I've already prepared everything. My shop is opening in my hometown."
Ariana buried her face in her hands.
"You're actually serious."
Reed nodded. "Yeah."
The room fell into another heavy silence.
Then, slowly, the adventurers started forming small groups.
"...Alright, how long do we think this will last?"
"One week. MAX."
"Hell no, he's too stubborn. I say a month."
"Ten gold says he gets dragged back into adventuring within three days."
"Bet. Thirty gold he gets kidnapped by royalty again."
"Fifty gold says he accidentally saves the world while running his food shop and still insists he's retired."
Reed stared at them, unamused.
"You guys are actually gambling on my life choices?"
"YES."
"AND WE'RE NOT SORRY."
Ariana took a deep breath. "Reed."
"Yeah?"
"...Is this because of an existential crisis? Because we do have therapy spells."
"No, Ariana. I just want to make food."
A long silence.
Then, Ariana, with a completely deadpan face, turned and grabbed a full beer mug from a nearby adventurer.
Without hesitation, she chugged the entire thing.
"…Okay, now I'm ready to deal with this."