The Adventurer's Guild was always noisy.
But this—this was next-level chaos.
At one table, a group of adventurers huddled together with serious expressions.
"Alright, we need a proper system," a rogue declared, adjusting his gloves. "Simple bets won't cut it anymore."
A towering warrior nodded. "Agreed. We need tiers of possible outcomes."
A priest raised his hand. "I propose we include bonus bets for specific events."
Another rogue snapped his fingers. "Like, 'Reed punches a noble within the first month?'"
"EXACTLY."
A wizard pulled out a magical notepad, enchanted to update in real time.
"Alright, confirmed categories:
1. Timeframe Until He Unretires
2. Catastrophe That Drags Him Back
3. Number of Times He Says 'I'm Retired' Before Giving Up
4. Bonus Bets on Random Chaos"
The betting pool exploded.
"Fifty gold on 'Gets Dragged Back By Royalty Within A Week!'"
"Seventy gold on 'Accidentally Saves The World Again!'"
"One hundred gold on 'He Marries Into A Noble Family And STILL Claims He's Retired!'"
A paladin pounded the table. "Two hundred gold he ends up leading an army by accident."
A rogue grinned. "Five hundred gold he starts an entire religion without realizing it."
A monk calmly added his own wager. "One thousand gold he somehow tames an ancient dragon while running a food stall."
The entire guild hall turned into a betting den.
Even the guild master, the old dwarf, was stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"…You know, I really shouldn't be condonin' this, but a thousand gold on the dragon one does sound reasonable."
Ariana lost it.
"GUYS, THIS IS NOT HOW WE HANDLE RETIREMENT!"
"IT IS NOW!"
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
She whipped around to glare at Reed.
"AND YOU! SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!"
Reed, who had been idly watching with his arms crossed, simply shrugged.
"…I mean, at least they're organized about it."
Ariana screamed into her hands.
"I CAN'T WITH YOU PEOPLE!"
---
At this point, the guild executives made their final desperate move.
The high-ranking elf official from before stepped forward, adjusting his pristine robes.
"Reed Astoria," he said formally. "We understand your desire for peace. However, allow me to propose one last offer."
Reed raised an eyebrow. "Another one?"
The elf nodded.
"This time, we will not offer material wealth. Instead…"
He took a deep breath.
"…We will authorize an SSS+ Rank 'Emergency Quest' that requires you to remain an active adventurer—permanently."
The entire guild hall went silent.
Ariana's mouth dropped open.
The adventurers froze mid-bet.
Even the guild master's beard twitched.
"…Wait, can ye even DO that?"
The elf narrowed his eyes. "We are the guild. We set the rules."
Ariana finally snapped.
"YOU'RE JUST MAKING THINGS UP NOW!"
The elf ignored her.
Reed stared blankly. "So let me get this straight…"
He leaned back, arms crossed.
"You're telling me that because I'm too valuable, you're inventing a quest that forces me to stay adventuring—forever?"
"Correct."
Reed rubbed his chin.
"…And what exactly is the quest?"
The elf cleared his throat.
"The task is simple: 'Prevent the World From Descending Into Chaos.'"
The adventurers collectively gasped.
"That's not a quest, that's just LIFE!"
"HE LITERALLY CANNOT COMPLETE IT!"
"THAT'S ACTUALLY EVIL!"
Ariana slammed her head onto the counter. "I'm surrounded by lunatics."
Reed, meanwhile, simply nodded.
"…Well, I have to admit, that's creative."
The elf smirked. "Then you accept?"
Reed stretched, casually rolling his shoulders.
"Nah. Still retiring."
The elf choked.
The guild erupted into chaos again.
---
Ariana, who had spent the last five years handling insane adventurers, had officially reached her limit.
"Fine. FINE!" she snapped, throwing her hands up. "You know what?! GO RETIRE! I'M DONE!"
Reed blinked. "Wait, really?"
"YES!"
She pointed aggressively.
"BUT IF—IF—you so much as breathe near an adventure again, I SWEAR TO THE GODS, I WILL FORCEFULLY REGISTER YOU FOR EVERY QUEST ON THE BOARD."
Reed chuckled. "Duly noted."
Ariana, red-faced, turned away furiously. "Just… get out of my sight before I explode."
Reed nodded.
With that, he turned to leave the guild hall.
The adventurers watched in awe as he walked out the door.
For the first time in history…
Reed Astoria was officially retired.
…
For now.