After an hour-long battle, Reed had successfully removed the word 'Newlywed' from the board, repainted it, and threw a small anti-magic seal on it just in case Yuna tried enchanting it again.
Now, it simply read:
"Reed's Village Food Store – Fresh & Homemade"
Simple. Normal. Exactly what he wanted.
Finally, he could start his peaceful new life.
"Alright," Reed sighed, stepping back to admire his work. "Everything is ready."
Behind him, the shop's wooden doors stood open, shelves stocked with fresh bread, vegetables, dried meats, and other homemade goods.
Everything was perfect.
This was it. His new beginning.
"Finally," he muttered. "A normal—"
"Reedy~!"
Reed's blood ran cold.
Slowly, he turned.
Yuna stood there, beaming, wearing an apron.
One of his aprons.
"Why," Reed said slowly, "are you wearing that?"
Yuna clasped her hands together.
"Why, to help you, of course~!"
"No."
Yuna pouted. "Ara~? But why not? This is a wonderful opportunity for us to work together, my dear husband~."
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"
Elise, who had been watching from a nearby chair, eating an apple, smirked.
"Onii-chan, you should let her help," she said. "She's really popular. With Yuna working here, the shop will be flooded with customers."
Reed narrowed his eyes.
"…That's exactly why I don't want her helping."
Yuna giggled. "Oh my, are you saying I'm too powerful, Reedy~?"
"YES."
---
Reed pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Yuna. If I let you help, will you at least do it quietly and professionally?"
Yuna placed a finger on her chin, pretending to think.
"Fufu~. Define 'professionally'~?"
Reed felt the migraine forming.
"Just. Sell. The. Food. Normally."
"Understood~!"
Yuna spun around dramatically, her tails swishing elegantly behind her.
She turned to Elise.
"Shall we take bets on how long before he gives up~?"
Elise grinned. "I give it ten minutes."
Reed glared.
"IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET!"
---
The first customers arrived soon after.
A small group of villagers, mostly elderly, walked in first, looking around curiously.
"Ah, welcome," Reed said, forcing himself to be polite and professional. "Please, take your time looking around."
Yuna stepped forward, smiling sweetly.
"Welcome, dear customers~!"
Reed froze.
…That tone.
He knew that tone.
That was Yuna's 'up to something' voice.
"For our opening day, my dear husband and I are offering a special deal!"
Reed's soul left his body.
"YUNA, WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT DOING THINGS NORMALLY?!"
Yuna giggled.
"Oh my, but I am~!"
She turned back to the customers, tails swaying elegantly.
"For today only, if you buy one of our special fresh bread loaves, you get a blessing for a happy love life!"
Reed choked.
"EXCUSE ME?!"
Yuna ignored him, beaming.
"If you're married, dating, or even just looking for love, a special purchase today will come with a Fox Goddess Blessing!"
The elderly villagers burst into laughter.
One old man patted Reed's back with surprising strength.
"Haha! Look at that! He's already getting trained by his wife!"
Reed tensed.
"SHE'S NOT MY WIFE!"
An elderly woman clapped Yuna's hands happily.
"Oh, my dear Yuna, congratulations on the marriage! I always knew it would happen~!"
"IT HASN'T HAPPENED!"
Yuna smiled gracefully.
"Fufu~. Thank you, Auntie. It's been a long time coming, hasn't it?"
"STOP AGREEING!"
Elise was on the floor, crying from laughter.
"OH GODS, ONII-CHAN, YOU'RE LOSING SO BADLY!"
Lilia, standing nearby, sighed wistfully.
"I always knew Yuna-chan would be my daughter-in-law~."
"MOM, NO!"
Yuna, smirking, gestured to the shelves.
"Since today is special, would you like a Reed & Yuna's Love Fortune Cookie with your purchase~?"
"THAT'S NOT A THING!"
A farmer raised his hand. "I'll take three!"
Reed collapsed against the counter.
---
By the time the lunch rush ended, Reed had been:
Declared married against his will.[CHECK]
Forced to 'bless' an old couple for 'a happy and fruitful love life.[CHECK]
Told by at least five different people that he and Yuna should have ten kids.[CHECK]
Made to realize he had absolutely no control over his shop.[CHECK]
As Reed sat on a crate, completely drained of energy, Yuna placed a cup of tea in front of him.
"Fufu~. That went well, didn't it, dear husband~?"
Reed stared at her.
"I. Am. Going. To. Die."
Yuna gently patted his shoulder.
"There, there~. You still have dinner service to look forward to~."
Reed's soul left his body.
Elise cheerfully wrote down her notes.
"Final count: Onii-chan lasted two hours before giving up. I win the bet."
Reed groaned.
This was definitely not the peaceful retirement he had imagined.
---