The school was still standing, but the gate was down, and the zombies were basically having a block party on the front lawn. Not exactly the kind of guest list you want.
We were all crammed into the broadcast room, trying to ignore the fact that there were probably a hundred zombies outside just waiting for us to slip up.
To distract ourselves, we decided to show the newbies our other problem: the zombie hamsters.
"Alright," I said, gesturing to the locked room down the hall. "Prepare yourselves. This is the stuff of nightmares."
We tiptoed to the room, which we'd barricaded with a chair because, apparently, that's enough to stop a zombie hamster. Through the glass pane in the door, we could see the little furballs scurrying around, their tiny eyes glowing with that creepy undead energy.
"Oh my God," Lila whispered, her nose practically pressed against the glass. "They're… kind of cute?"
"Cute?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow. "They're literally undead monsters. They'd eat your face off if they could."
"Yeah, but look at their little paws!" she said, pointing.
I groaned. "Not you too. Alex already went through this phase. Next thing I know, you'll be trying to adopt one."
Ben leaned in for a closer look. "How did they even get like this? Are they, like, zombie-fied hamsters, or are they just really aggressive?"
"No idea," I said, shrugging. "But they're fast, they're vicious, and they're a pain in the ass. So, you know, handle with care."
Jake, who had been quiet this whole time, suddenly spoke up. "Wow, that's so cute," he said, without stammering.
I blinked, surprised. "Wait, did you just… not stutter?"
He looked embarrassed. "Uh… yeah. I guess I did."
"Huh," I said, nodding. "Pleasant surprise. Maybe zombie hamsters are your thing."
He chuckled, and for a moment, it almost felt normal. Almost.
We spent the next hour or so just talking, trying to distract ourselves from the fact that there was a horde of zombies outside. The conversation ranged from random to ridiculous.
"Do you think they'll migrate again tonight?" Ben asked, staring out the window.
"Who knows?" I said, yawning. "Maybe we'll get lucky and a helicopter will swoop in and save us. Or, you know, some hero will return from another world only to find his world has been infested with zombies. Wouldn't that be a plot twist?"
Elliot smirked. "Yeah, and then he'll fall in love with Mira, and they'll save the world together."
"Shut up," I said, throwing a crumpled piece of paper at him.
Lila laughed. "I'd watch that movie."
"Same," Jake said, grinning.
As the conversation continued, I could feel my eyelids getting heavier. It was turning noon, and the lack of sleep was finally catching up to me. I was so tired I could've fallen asleep standing up.
"Alright," I said, interrupting whatever Elliot was rambling about. "We need to take naps. Like, now. I'm so tired I'm starting to hallucinate."
"Same," Alex said, rubbing her eyes.
We decided to take turns sleeping, because apparently, that's the only way to survive a zombie apocalypse without everyone passing out at the same time. Two people would stay awake while the other four slept.
"Let's let the newbies sleep first," Elliot suggested. "They've had a rough day."
"And me," I added. "I was on the last shift, and I'm the sleepiest. Don't argue with me."
No one did.
We found a relatively clean corner of the room, and I laid down on the floor, using the curtains as a pillow. It wasn't exactly a five-star hotel, but it would have to do.
As I closed my eyes, I couldn't help but think about how weird this all was. Just a few days ago, I was worrying about homework and detention. Now, I was lying on the floor of my high school, trying to sleep while zombies lurked outside.
Elliot and Alex stayed awake, keeping watch while the rest of us slept. I could hear them whispering, but their voices faded as I drifted off.
I don't know how long I slept, but it felt like only a few minutes before I was jolted awake by someone shaking me.
"Wake up, wake up!" a voice hissed.
I groaned, swatting at the hand on my shoulder. "Mom, today's Sunday. Let me sleep a little more."
Then it hit me. My mom wasn't here. She was in Switzerland.
My eyes snapped open, and I sat up so fast I almost headbutted Elliot, who was leaning over me.
"What the hell?" I said, my heart racing.
"Something's wrong," Elliot said, his face pale. "You need to see this."
I scrambled to my feet, my sleepiness replaced by a surge of adrenaline. "What is it? Zombies? Hamsters? Zombie hamsters?"
"Just come on," he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the window.
I followed him, my mind racing. What could be worse than a horde of zombies and zombie hamsters?
As I looked out the window, I realized the answer.
****
It was then, as I looked outside, that I saw them.
Fucking zombie pigeons.
Yes, you heard me right. Zombie pigeons. They were flying around, chirping like some deranged choir from hell, and, wait for it, eating the flesh of the zombies below.
"Fucking pigeon zombies!" I yelled, my voice cracking. "Fucking pigeon zombies!"
My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as I watched one of the undead birds land on a zombie's shoulder and start pecking at its rotting flesh. The zombie didn't even seem to notice.
Elliot, standing next to me, just smiled and puffed up his chest like he'd just won the Nobel Prize for Stating the Obvious. "I predicted this," he said, smug as hell. "See? I was right. Hehe."
I turned to him, my face a mix of horror and disbelief. "Don't get cocky, you idiot! You're the one who doomed us all by triggering the red flag of our slice-of-life story, which is now a full-blown horror show because of your useless ideas!"
Elliot smirked, brushing his hand through his hair in that annoyingly perfect way he always did. And man, did he look so… Elliot.
My heart skipped a beat.
Calm down, hormones. Calm the hell down, my internal monologue screamed. Why the actual fuck am I feeling this way? I swear to never let these stupid hormones take control of my vulnerable neurological state in these horrible circumstances. This is a zombie apocalypse, not a rom-com!
Just as I was mentally scolding myself, THUD.
Something smacked against the window.
We all jumped, and I turned to see a zombie pigeon staring at us with its creepy, glowing eyes. It had noticed us standing by the window on the top floor and decided to introduce itself by smacking its undead head into the glass.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled at the pigeon, as if it could understand me.
The pigeon chirped, yes, chirped, and then flew off, leaving a smear of something gross on the window.
"Well," Elliot said, leaning against the wall. "That was… something."
"Something?" I repeated, glaring at him. "That was a zombie pigeon, Elliot. A zombie pigeon. Do you understand how messed up that is?"
He shrugged. "At least the windows are durable. They didn't break."
"Oh, great," I said, throwing up my hands. "Let's throw a party because the windows didn't break. Meanwhile, we've got flying zombie rats with feathers trying to kill us. This is fine. Everything is fine."
Alex, who had been quietly watching the whole thing, finally spoke up. "So… what do we do now?"
"What can we do?" I shot back. "We're trapped in a school with zombies outside, zombie hamsters in a locked room, and now zombie pigeons flying around. At this point, I'm just waiting for zombie cockroaches to show up."
Elliot chuckled. "Don't give the universe any ideas."
I groaned, running a hand through my hair. "This is a nightmare. A literal nightmare. And I can't even wake up from it."
As I stood there, staring out the window at the chaos below, I couldn't help but laugh. It was either that or cry, and I wasn't about to give Elliot the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
Note to self: When the zombie apocalypse adds flying zombies to the mix, it's time to start questioning all your life choices. Also, stop staring at Elliot. He's not that cute. Okay, maybe he's a little cute. But shut up, brain. We're in survival mode, not rom-com mode.