"Don't tell me you're still thinking about Dan,"
Selena says, rolling her eyes for what must be the fourth time. She leans her head on her hand, exasperation lacing her tone.
Tears continue falling from my eyes, silent but heavy.
How could she understand?
She wasn't there to see the way he looked at me, how he made me feel like the only girl in the world.
No guy had ever treated me the way he did, like I was precious, like I mattered.
"I messed up," I manage to say between sobs, my voice barely above a whisper. My tears spill onto the open pages of my notebook, darkening the ink until the words blur together.
Selena sighs, watching me with a mixture of pity and frustration. "You messed up?" she echoes, as if the concept is foreign to her.
I nod, unable to speak. The weight of my regret is suffocating.
Hot tears streak my face as memories rush in, flashing through my mind like an old film reel.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push them away, but they come unbidden, relentless.
I can still feel it, our third time sitting close together in Economics class. Dan's arm brushed against mine, just a fleeting touch, but it sent a jolt through my entire body.
I remember how my heart pounded, how I turned to him, certain he could hear it. He had smiled at me then, a rare thing, because Dan hardly smiled. But with me? He always did.
But that was before I ruined everything.
A faint smile crosses my lips, despite the hot mess of emotions tangled in my chest. The lip gloss and powder I had so carefully applied this morning smudge beneath my tears.
"Oh my God, do NOT look up, Helen," Selena warns, her voice sharp.
But I already have, I am about to take a tissue to wrap my teary messed up face.
And I see him.
Dan.
Holding hands with someone.
At first, I can't make out who it is. The crowd shifts, parting like a cruel, mocking sea, and then my stomach twists.
It's her.
Sabrina.
She's gorgeous in that effortless way that makes people stop and stare.
Long dark hair, perfect curves, a laugh that sounds like music. She walks beside Dan like she belongs there.
Dan and my eyes meet.
All the air vanishes from my lungs.
Dan looks away immediately.
But I can't.
My gaze stays locked on him as they walk into the cafeteria together, her fingers intertwined with his.
I can feel the weight of every stare in the room. I hear the whispers, the giggles barely hidden behind hands.
"He does this with everybody," someone murmurs.
"He finally upgraded. I always wondered what he was doing with Helen," another voice scoffs.
"Shhh, she's looking at us," someone says, and the group awkwardly shifts their attention elsewhere.
Sabrina's friends exchange smirks, throwing glances my way. The boys pat Dan on the back, some shaking his hand like he's won a prize.
I feel like I might collapse.
Selena is shaking me, calling my name, but it's like I'm trapped underwater, unable to breathe.
Then, a voice booms through the megaphone, piercing the chaos.
"Helen Edward, report to the office immediately."
Every pair of eyes in the room turns to me.
I grab my bag, not bothering to wipe my tears. Selena walks beside me, silent but present.
I don't remember getting to the principal's office.
Everything is a blur. I sit, staring blankly ahead as Mrs. Edwina flips through my file.
Selena waits outside. I know she's worried, but right now, I can't handle her concern.
Mrs. Edwina clears her throat.
"How many times have you been called to my office this week?"
I swallow hard, my throat dry.
"Five," I whisper.
"Five times," she repeats, shaking her head. "We've been trying to reach your parents. No response. Are they still out of the country?"
That makes me look up. My eyes widen slightly.
My grades aren't that bad. I know I haven't been at my best, but this?
"Yes, they're still out of the country," I say, my voice sharper than I intend.
But what does it matter?
My parents don't care. They're too busy chasing a son they abandoned years ago, ignoring the daughter standing right in front of them.
"It's a cycle, isn't it?" I murmur, almost to myself.
Dan had said that to me once. We're stuck in cycles, Helen. You and me both.
Mrs. Edwina leans forward, clasping her hands.
"Your teachers are concerned. Your grades are slipping. You've been getting a lot of D's."
I flinch.
"Are you aware you're on a scholarship?" She goes on
I nod.
How could have forgotten that, the memories was sealed forever in my mind.
"If this continues, your scholarship will be revoked next session." Mrs Edwina drops the bomb shell.
The words hit me like a slap, as i sit there, stunned.
Revoked?
Maybe now my parents, my adopted parents, will finally see me instead of chasing ghosts.
I don't respond. I just want to go home, crawl into bed, and disappear.
Mrs. Edwina sighs, shaking her head. She turns back to her laptop, and I take that as my cue to leave.
That's my cue to leave.
When I step outside, Selena is gone.
Dan would never do this to me. He always waited. Even if he didn't say anything, I could always find him.
I can't go back to class. I can't face them.
I have to fix this.
I take out my phone and book a ride home.
I hear Selena calling my name, but I ignore her.
"I know you're angry, but I waited. What took so long?" she asks, catching up.
"Mrs. Edwina ranting about revoking my scholarship," I snap.
Selena's eyes widen. "You worked so hard for that! Your parents will be furious!"
I scoff. "Where are they? Out chasing ghosts."
"Don't say that, Helen,You don't mean that" she says softly.
I stare at her in disbelief, my breath catching in my throat.
"You're unbelievable right now," I say, my voice colder than I intend. I shake my head, clenching my fists at my sides. "You know what? I can't deal with you either."
Selena opens her mouth to say something, but I don't give her the chance.
My phone pings.
Your ride is here.
Perfect timing. I pivot on my heel and start walking away, my steps brisk, purposeful, anything to put distance between us.
"I'm sorry," Selena calls after me, her voice tinged with regret. "I really am, Helen."
I don't look back.
I won't look back.
My eyes burn, but I refuse to let the tears fall.
I square my shoulders, forcing a deep breath into my lungs. I just need to make it to the parking lot. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other.
And then, just as I'm about to round the corner into the courtyard, I see them.
My steps falter.
Dan.
And her.
Sabrina is draped across his lap, laughing like he just said the funniest thing in the world, her manicured fingers splayed across his chest like she belongs there.
At least he isn't laughing back.
That's what I tell myself. That's what I cling to.
But then, as if sensing me, Dan lifts his head. Our eyes meet across the distance, the air between us thick with something I can't name.
And then, he smirks.
A slow, cruel, deliberate smirk.
My breath catches. Did I imagine that?
Before I can be sure, he turns away.
And I watch, helplessly, painfully, as he reaches up and tucks a loose strand of Sabrina's hair behind her ear, his touch careful, his expression unreadable.
My heart clenches.
I feel something crack deep inside me, something raw and unspoken, but I don't have time to dwell on it.
Because I don't realize I've walked straight into someone until—
Splash.
Cold liquid soaks through my clothes.
I gasp, jerking back, looking down.
Soda. Dark, sticky, staining my outfit, because apparently, today hasn't humiliated me enough.
Like a bad joke from the universe.
"Like this day couldn't get any worse,"
I mutter under my breath, frustration bubbling over.
"Excuse me?"
The voice is unfamiliar, edged with something amused, but also slightly annoyed.
"You bumped into me," he continues, his tone smooth but laced with irritation, "and now your day couldn't get worse?"
I freeze, suddenly hyper-aware of the person standing in front of me.
Slowly, I lift my gaze.
And blink.
Plaited cornrows.
Smooth, honey-golden skin that catches the sunlight just right.
Broad shoulders.
Nearly six feet tall.
His dark eyes study me with mild curiosity, one brow quirked as if he's waiting for me to explain myself.
My words tangle in my throat.
Say something, Helen. Anything.
"I .. I'll get you another," I stammer, my voice coming out weaker than I'd like.
He crosses his arms, tilting his head slightly. "You want to buy me another drink?"
There's something in the way his lips twitch, like he's amused, like he's toying with me.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
He watches me for a moment longer before his smirk deepens.
"You know what?" he says, stepping back. "You owe me one, Helen."
My stomach flips.
Wait.
He knows my name?
I stand there, blinking after him, my mind a blur.
His words echo in my head.
You owe me one, Helen.
How does he know my name?
And why does the way he said it send an unsteady feeling spiraling through me?
I barely have time to process any of it before my ride pulls up.
I hesitate for just a second, glancing back one last time.
Dan is still there.
Still with Sabrina.
Still playing house in his new world, wrapped up in her, in whatever this is.
My stomach clenches.
And this time, I don't hesitate.
I turn away, my expression unreadable, my heart heavier than I want to admit.
Without another word, I slide into the car and shut the door behind me.