A different Ambassador H.S. Mr. Green

 The beginning

"Why did you have to leave, FĂ?! Because of you, I almost ended up in jail, lost my license, and everyone thought I was on drugs! But I... I was just a lonely and misunderstood person, left without my best drinking buddy! The Countess was crying and hitting me with her purse."

"Wait, we drank together all night, and now I can barely stand on my feet... If you hit me one more time, who knows whose yard I'll end up in or what problems we'll have." I tried to calm her down, but I barely finished speaking before another purse landed on my head, nearly bringing my demise. In my fall, I opened a gate. Alarms started blaring.

"What have you done, FĂ?! We're on Primăverii Street. Only the rich live here, including me. Don't tell me you've gone back to your old ways after returning from Pakistan. FĂ, are you listening?! I'm talking to you, you lazy larva!" The woman tried to check if I was still alive by using the heels of her shoes.

It took me a bit longer to get up. I was still quite dizzy from dear old alcohol.

"FĂ..." I covered my drinking buddy's mouth, picked her up in my arms, and ran. I don't know what happened behind us. I heard several police sirens.

"Where do you live? Why do I feel like I've been gone for 10 years and not just six months?! How did I end up asking where she lives when her case was one of the first I solved?! I must be getting old!"

"A little further! See, I have some tigers at the gate. Don't look at me like that; they're not real... They just arrived, and I haven't had time to set them up."

Good thing FĂ is still FĂ. As eccentric as she is, she's my drinking buddy. "The next house is mine, so don't miss it... at the speed you're running, you're about to get caught by the radar."

"Don't you think it's time to open the gate?" I asked as we reached her yard.

"If only I knew where I put the remote..."

Behind me, I heard the quick footsteps of people seemingly chasing someone.

"I don't have time for this!" I let go of the Countess. "I need to take a detour and then jump over the fence. Once I get to FĂ's yard, nothing can happen to me." The plan was good—or at least it seemed so at the time. I followed it exactly, but... when I landed in what I thought was my drinking buddy's yard, I crashed into a rose bush and lost consciousness.

I have no idea how long I was out, covered in scratches and thorns. I probably cracked my head open and most certainly destroyed a good portion of someone's garden.

I woke up in a dimly lit room. On the table in front of me, a lamp flickered. The lightbulb was energy-efficient and cold. I tried to move but couldn't—I was tied securely to a chair.

"Countess? Are you playing tricks again? What are we betting on this time? You know we're just drinking buddies and nothing more!" I tried to adjust my eyes to the pale light. My head ached, and I felt dizzy. I wasn't sure if I was suffering from a hangover or if the pain was from my fall. "Countess? Did your cat steal your tongue? Say something!" My voice carried a slight annoyance. "Oh, this is rich. You bring me here, tie me up, and now make me talk to myself?!"

But no one answered me. What was this? I was sure there was someone sitting across from me—I could hear them breathing. Wait a second! That's not the Countess's perfume! So... I'm not at her place? Then where the hell am I?!

"Fine, let's get to the point. I'm not a diplomat. How can I make up for the damage I caused? And please, answer me somehow... Otherwise, my patience is running thin."

Still nothing! I knew someone was in front of me. I also knew I was tied to a chair, my head was aching—I probably cracked it open. Yes, I definitely wrecked the garden... No, I don't know how to fix it, but I can pay. I waited longer. Foolishly, I thought I'd get a response. But nothing.

"Alright, fine! My name is Green. I'm a detective. I live in Buzău, and last night, I attended the National Day reception for Pakistan. Afterward, I drank all night—or at least, what was left of it—with my drinking buddy, Countess FĂ. She has a villa nearby. We both got wasted, and she started hitting me with her purse. By accident, I entered someone's yard. By the time I came to my senses, the alarm was blaring. I ran, and since my blonde friend couldn't find the gate remote in time, I felt threatened, took a detour around the house, and, in my hurry, instead of jumping into FĂ's yard, I mistakenly landed in yours! I'm deeply sorry! I don't know how else I can make up for this!"

"The National Day reception for Pakistan... You say you were there? Can you confirm that?" A woman's voice finally responded. She spoke Romanian, but her accent was slightly off. I didn't think much of it.

"I have photos on my phone. It's probably either broken—I always smash the screen—or it's with you."

The woman in front of me snapped her fingers. Someone opened the door and presumably handed her my phone. That person didn't say a word, but based on their silhouette and the way they moved, I guessed it was another woman.

"Password!"

"Eight, nine, three, zero." I knew my phone's brightness was set to max. "Now, let's see who you are. Five seconds will be enough."

I didn't have to wait long. The screen lit up, allowing me to glimpse both the woman in front of me and the one who had brought my phone. The first was a lady slightly past middle age, brunette, with distinct Asian features—but not quite like mine. Something was different. Her hands trembled as she held my phone, and I could tell she hadn't slept all night. The other woman had long, chestnut-colored hair, which she intentionally let fall over her face, obscuring her features. All I could see was a hand adjusting the screen brightness. Judging by the appearance of her hand, she was younger than the woman in front of me.

Okay, so there were two of them. Why do I have a feeling the other one is also Asian? Sure, we may appear eternally youthful, but age always leaves some trace on the body. Look at our hands if you want to see it!

"You really were there!" The woman sitting across from me exclaimed, visibly surprised.

"Yeah, why would I lie?"

"What did you say your girlfriend's name was?!"

"She's not my girlfriend! She's just my drinking buddy. Countess FĂ..."

And just like that, I found myself in a whole new mess.