- Countess FĂ... do we have such a neighbor?
A door opened with great difficulty, and after a few seconds, a man's voice was heard:
- Ma'am, a short woman, blonde, curly, dressed in pajamas with sunglasses on her eyes and many ribbons in her hair insists on coming in here. She says that her drinking buddy "landed" by mistake in our yard. She is very hysterical. Should I call the police?
- It's her! I would have jumped out of my chair, but I couldn't do that.
The younger woman in the room, seeing my enthusiasm, addressed me:
- Do you have pictures of this "countess"? So we can confirm her identity.
- Of course I do! They are on my phone. She's that blonde woman holding a wine glass somewhat elegantly...
- This one? In a few seconds, she had already turned the phone toward me to confirm.
- Yes!
Without saying anything else, I heard her moving toward the exit, and probably, along with her, the guard left the room as well.
- You said you've been to Pakistan? After quite a long pause, the lady interrogating me thought to resume the conversation.
- Yes!
- Why?
- I was on vacation.
- Seriously? And what exactly did you visit?
- Hmmm! Well... almost the whole country.
- Are you a diplomat?
- No! I told you I'm a detective.
- Did you go there to solve a case?
- No! I was just on vacation... I suffered from depression... well, I guess I won't ever get rid of this illness, but you're neither a psychologist nor my attending physician, so I prefer not to give details.
- I asked what you visited!
- In Pakistan?
- Yes! Well, isn't that where you said you went?
- Yes, I did!
- And then?
- Then... what? I don't know what you're implying. I fell accidentally into your yard... I will try to repair the damages, but other than that... may my mother beat me if I know what else I did. I was starting to lose my calm.
- Where are your identity documents?
- With Countess FĂ in her bag.
- Why do you keep them there?
- Because every time I'm with her, she asks for them. She says they are safe there, Bucharest is a jungle. I don't like big, crowded cities like this one. I hear only honking, nerves... and at night... it's dangerous for women, especially if they are alone.
- And how does she protect herself with your documents?
- I don't know! She probably thinks they're her lucky charm... Don't ask me questions I don't know the answers to. I give them to her for safekeeping since we became friends and drink together every Monday of the month...
- FĂ, why did you jump the fence into the neighbor's yard?
Like a storm, capricious and angry, Anna made her appearance. Someone almost had to pick her up from the floor because she tripped over something, probably a threshold or a straight edge.
- Since when do you...? I started to ask the blonde something.
- It doesn't matter, FĂ!
- Ma'am, you weren't supposed to enter here. The guard was panting.
- I'm taking my Green and leaving. I didn't come to drink tea with the neighbor, whom I greet, respect, and appreciate. If he finished talking to the gendarme, she snapped at me:
- Lazy larva, how much longer do you plan to sit in that chair? Move, FA, to Aunt Pușa!
- I'm a little, just a little... tied up. It's not like I don't want to come.
- Well, FĂ, you, the great detective from Buzău, ended up being tied up? You're making me laugh! - - Better say you liked the company of the two ladies, then I'll believe you, but the lie about being tied up... no!
- But really...
- FĂ, what's wrong with you? Are you giving birth? Stop whining like a woman and untie yourself!
- Alright, boss! But you should know I'm pretty well knotted.
- This is exactly why I won't get married, FĂ, because you all whine worse than women.
- I apologize, but it seems that if I don't leave soon, my drinking buddy will have another hysterical crisis. In about 5 minutes, I was already untied and lifted from the chair.
- Still, we haven't finished talking. The lady who had interrogated me grabbed me by the shirt.
- Neighbor, the man is harmless, slightly dumb, holds his liquor, a convinced bachelor, doesn't like big cities, lazy, wouldn't want to hear the word "work" ever again, doesn't know how to be diplomatic... he's more of a brute, that's why he lives in a provincial town, lately hates his nationality, but wouldn't change it, so he's bipolar... and the best detective I know. Not much to say about him.
Countess FĂ grabbed my hand and was pulling me toward the exit.
- Detective?
- Yes!
- What's his name?
- Green! I answered in unison with the Countess.
- Are there any details about him on the internet? Meanwhile, the other, younger woman had arrived.
- I don't know!
- Now surely you don't expect me to have a Wikipedia page... I'm not even on social media. Would that be a problem? So, rather than missing them, I'd rather not have them.
- And how can we believe that you're a detective?
The newcomer had doubts about my occupation.
- Ask him to find something, and he will.
Anna desperately wanted us to leave that dark room, so with every two words, she pulled me by the hand.
- Very well, but this is a tough case, and we need the national, local, and international press to know nothing.
The younger woman was talking down to me, but I wasn't bothered.
- I, the priest, and the psychologist are the only ones who take secrets to the grave... the rest, I tell over a glass of wine or spirits. So, what's it about?
I reached to take out my notepad from my back pocket, but... I didn't have it.
- FĂ, wouldn't it be better if we just got out of here?!
My blonde addressed one of the ladies, possibly the one who had spoken to me earlier.
- Okay, but only because I know you…
The long-awaited response came from the woman who had long passed her youth.
Okay, so it seems the one who interrogated me first is the boss of this place…
My hands were quickly grabbed and immobilized behind my back with a force and speed I cannot describe in words. Even my drinking buddy seemed shocked. It looks like this lady is part of some secret service. Wait a second… Did this house have a flag hoisted? If so… Am I in the residence of a diplomat?
Pushed by the one who had tied me up, I left that room. Before I could figure out what was going on… the light blinded me for a few moments. I felt the urge to cover my eyes with my hands, but I couldn't risk a struggle just for the sake of an instinct.
- The sun is so strong… My eyes hurt. I'd ask that we stop for a bit… I need a few seconds to adjust to the light. I feel like a mole.
I went to sit down, but…
- Be patient, we'll be inside in just a moment.
This woman was very cold and distant.
- I don't know when we entered the building or if I took off my shoes or wiped my sneakers at the entrance… all I know is that I was thrown into an armchair, and the room became dimly lit.
- Please, bring us some tea!
That's the boss…
- Sure!
- Open your eyes, FĂ, you little bat. You're inside now.
- Thank you, dear Countess!
Everything around me was luxurious. The furniture was vintage but very well maintained. On the fireplace in the middle of the room, several framed photos stood proudly, while others were placed on the bookshelves next to us. A thin, small central rug covered part of the floor—almost like a carpet.
And when I looked closer, on either side of the fireplace stood the flags of Romania and the Republic of Korea.
Now, I could see the boss of the place better. A woman past her youth, as I had mentioned before, but elegant, not showing her age, dressed in a hanbok [Traditional Korean attire] and styled in a traditional way. She tried to cover her dark circles. She could fool anyone, but not me, and I think the Countess noticed that too.
Suddenly, a long, slender hand passed before my eyes, placing a cup of chrysanthemum tea on the glass table in front of me. As soon as she completed her "mission," she sat behind the boss.
This second woman was impeccably dressed, with long, straight, chestnut-brown hair. Her gaze was sharp and penetrating. She wore heels but made no sound, which I found curious.
- So… can someone tell me what this is about? What do I have to do?
I had become impatient and was looking at the steaming drink in the cup as if it were something I shouldn't consume. Good thing I was still tied up.
- FĂ, don't you see we're drinking our tea? Can't you have a little decency?!
- My apologies, but I don't know how long it's been since I last went to the bathroom, and… I'm also hungry… and my mind is affected if I don't eat.
It seemed like I was arguing with Anna, but in reality, I was just voicing my grievances.
- Well, FĂ, you told them, and they didn't let you go to the bathroom? Make sure you don't pee yourself! Even though Korea is fan number two… don't stain the upholstery and don't change the smell, or you're in trouble…
- I'll take him to the bathroom. The younger woman got up from her seat and came toward me.
- Thank you! I stood up from the couch. With a brisk step, I passed from one room to another until, behind a wall, I finally found the bathroom.
- Here it is! Before letting me in, she untied my hands.
- Thank you! I smiled, trying to seem polite, even though the territory was hostile and the situation itself made me feel embarrassed.
- And did he really go to Pakistan? The boss's voice could be heard—she didn't seem to believe the Countess either.
- Yes!
- Is he as good of a detective as you say?
- He found my booze while the police were saying I was crazy and hysterical. He never said that.
I returned to the room on my own, while the second woman went to check the bathroom.
She doesn't seriously think I have explosives on me, does she? That would be absurd. I didn't even know where I was going, and even if I had known… am I really that dangerous. I sat back down, lost in thought. Had I spent all those years in Romania in vain, serving the law and doing so much good?And what if I haven't changed at all and it's just my imagination? What if I'm only lying to myself that I'm a good man, when in fact, I'm still… the same ruthless yakuza?!
- Hello, Romania wants to speak with Green?! Are you on the line, Green? Or should we call back when all your cows are home, FA?! Anna's frequent use of that personal pronoun snapped me back to reality.
- Yes! My short, dry, and almost absent response made the blonde grimace.
- I asked you something! She shouted at me firmly.
- Sorry! Please repeat. Can you find Mr. Ambassador?
- Excuse me?! I sat up indignantly.
- FĂ, don't act so shocked or you'll choke! I know that for you, impossible doesn't exist.
- Girl, but this is a serious matter…
- That's exactly why no one must find out that he hasn't returned to the residence since last night.
The lady of the house provided further clarification.
- Maybe he's at the embassy!
- Green, what the hell would FĂ be doing at work all night?
- How should I know?! Do I look like a diplomat?!
- FĂ, you have to help them!
- No!
- What do you mean, no? FĂ, did you hit your head in the bathroom or what?
- I can't do this! It's too big of a risk. Besides, I don't even know where to start…
-Fă, lazy lava, stop making excuses, get your magnifying glass, and get to work.
- Anna, I'm really not joking! I can't do this!
- FĂ, you know, my grandma used to have a saying from the communist era: "If you don't want to, we'll make you!" So…
- Countess, we're talking about a man with an entire secret service behind him. How can he disappear without a trace? Doesn't that seem illogical to you?
- And who am I to solve this case…?
- These people, I gestured toward the younger woman in the room, know his schedule, go everywhere with him… they follow and supervise him. Don't you think they check his food and drinks, his gifts, or that they meticulously screen every guest?
- If they couldn't find him, do you think I can? A nobody?
- FĂ, you're a scaredy-cat!
- Neighbor, enough! That's enough! Let him drink his tea in peace, and then he can leave…
The boss wanted to say more, but she struggled to hold back her tears. In the end, she couldn't anymore. A few tears started rolling down her face.
- FĂ, you're a bastard! You made a woman cry!
- Green, if you ever make a lady cry… I'll come after you, and you'll end up bald! Got it?!
Why did I suddenly remember Lylly now? Romanian women are terrifying when they get angry…I don't want to go bald. I started seeing my former landlady and Romanian teacher everywhere in the room, as if I were hallucinating, and that sentence echoed loudly in my ears. I took a sip of tea. Instead of calming me down… I felt full of energy.
I think they put something in my tea…