"Ugh....why the hell is this taking forever" my friend Hina mumbled as she groaned in annoyance because our last period in the afternoon is taking so long since Mrs. Clark, our History teacher, is adding a few more discussions before ending the class.
Me on the other hand was just writing down a few notes while trying my best not to fall asleep.
It's almost end of the class and here we are, still molded with Mrs. Clark's long and boring discussions while the other students from other classes are already on their way to their homes. Tsk. Unfair.
I glanced at Zina, my other friend, focused on the discussion. As expected to our class president. She was always been the 'good student' among us trio. While me in Hina on the other hand don't even bother studying before having quizzes or exams.
Well sometimes, Zina helps us to study since she doesn't want us both to have a failing mark. She's the smartest and also the mature one.
Time passed by until Mrs. Clark finally decided to end her discussion and dismissed the class. Thank God.
"Ah finally! I thought we are staying here until midnight." Hina said after Mrs. Clark went out of the classroom. I glanced at her as she stood up while stretching her arms up.
"So, you'll busy tonight?? Let's have a sleep over!" She said as she looked at me and Zina with a bright smile. Zina sigh before tidying up her desk.
"I'll pass. Family dinner tonight." She said as she stood up. Zina was always the busy type of person. She kept studying hard since her parents have very high expectations from her. We kept telling her to rest sometimes and well I'm glad she listens.
"Really? That sucks. What about you Reeine? Come on, don't ditch me too!"
She wined as she looked at me pleadingly. Gosh this kid.
"Mnn, nah I'll pass" I said as I stood up also. She glared at me as I looked at her.
"Oh come on! Give me some reason why!" She asked me as if I don't have a reason not to come.
"I'm studying tonight" I said with a proud smirk. Both of them looked at me.
"You? Study? Well that's new" Zina said as she slightly chuckled. "Never knew you can be the 'studying' type of person. I guess people do change." She continued while Hina started laughing.
"Oh come on Ree, at least come up with a reasonable excuse." She wheezed.
"I am really going to study guys" I said as I crossed my arms. They both looked at me confusingly like they really do not believe that I'm actually gonna study.
"Seriously??" Hina stared at me as she processed my words.
"Yes. Exams are in next week right?" I said as I grab my bag.
"Gosh I thought you and I are in the same page. Guess I'll have to study tonight too then." Hina said in defeat as she grabbed her bag as well as Zina.
"Guess you two finally learned the importance of studying before exams." Zina said as she looked at us with a proud smile.
We walked out of the room and started to walk through the hallway. It's gotten a little less crowdy since some students already left.
"So guys, have you ever thought about what we'll do after graduation?" Hina suddenly spoked about graduation. I thought for a moment as I think of something that I might do after graduation.
"I'm going to Italy for a vacation" Zina said with her usual bored tone.
"What?! Really?! Gosh, I almost forgot that you're rich rich." Hina said as she crossed her arms.
"What the point of going to Italy. I'd rather stay here in London." She said.
"What?? Dude, Italy has amazing foods!!! How can you not want that??? Would you not like to try those amazing pastas they make?" Hina wined.
"Ah no. I don't eat noodles remember?" She said as she sighs heavily.
"Yes yes I remembered" she sighs in defeat again as she grumbled. I, on the other hand was just listening to their little banter.
As we were walking towards the exit, my feet immediately stopped moving when I saw something that I've been trying to avoid seeing. The moment my eyes landed on him made my heart sink.
Zina and Hina noticed my tension and looked at where my eyes landed. Their eyes widened as they understand why I was so tensed. They both looked at me with concern.
Zina sighs heavily and pulled my hand away from the view I was seeing so does Hina with my other hand.
"Ignore them Reeine" Hina said while holding me just like Zina was holding me too.
"You don't deserve that bastard." I noticed how Zina annoyingly said that. I sighs and stopped my tracks.
"I'm fine guys." I said.
"No you're not." Zina responded to my sentence immediately. "You kept telling yourself that you're fine but you're not."
I looked at her as I noticed the way her mood changed immediately as she saw me being tensed like that.
"Yeah, Zina's right Ree. Don't act like you're fine." Hina said as she held my hand tightly. "You don't deserve that bastard. Wait, no. That bastard doesn't deserve you." She repeats. I just nodded as I listened to them.
My mind suddenly went blank as the memories of the past flooded back through my mind.
That time when I was still deeply in love with someone. That time when I almost gave up everything for that person. That time when I begged him to stay. Giving him all the love I have and cared for him as much as I cared for myself. I showed him how much I'm desperate to love him. Desperate to be with him. I gave him my loyalty and everything just so that he could choose me but in the end I was still the second choice. But the worst thing he ever did?
He said he loved me.
He loved me as much as I loved him. I was so desperate that time not knowing it was all a lie.
Now, seeing him with her made my heart sink in a thousand meters deep. I hate this feeling. I've been trying to avoid it but this lingering feelings for him wouldn't stop.
I know I am not in the right place to get jealous since there is no us. The only thing that made me so heartbroken so badly when he said that loved me too. If only he rejected me in the first place, I wouldn't be like this heartbroken right now. If only...if only he didn't...
"'Reeine!" I finally came back to my senses when I heard Hina called for me.
"You're thinking too much again." She said.
"Oh sorry" I sigh as they finally let go of my hand.
"Come on, let's go home. It's almost 5:00 pm." Zina gestures me that we should go now since it was getting late. I nodded in response so does as Hina.
We finally continued walking and headed back straight to our homes. Zina lived in a subdivision while Hina lived in an apartment with her mom. Both of their homes are just near the school while me, I still need to take the bus to get home.
I waited at the bus top and after a while, a bus finally arrived. I went in and sat on my usual spot. I sat beside the window and leaned my head on it. I stared outside as the bus driver started the engine.
My eyes gaze at the city lights as I calmed my mind. While having a thought, a question suddenly came up making me clench my eyebrows.
'Am I even worth loving'
The question lingered on my mind for a moment before brushing it off.
'maybe I am'
I mumbled as I stared outside while gazing through the city's glimmering lights.