I went out of my room and went straight to the kitchen and helped grandma arrange the table. After arranging the table, we sat on our seats and started to eat. I just stayed quiet since what happened earlier in my room still lingered on my mind.
"Reeine?" I gaze towards grandma as I heard her call me.
"Yes Nana?" I asked while I continued eating.
"You seem like you're thinking too much again" she said as she poured me a glass of water. "Here, drink it. To ease your mind a little bit."
I accepted the glass of water and drank it all. After I was done, I put the glass back down on the table
"Thanks Grandma" I said with a small smile on my face. She smiled eventually and gestured me to continue eating. She stared at me for a while before saying something.
"Do you miss your parents?" She asked calmly while eating. Me in the other hand paused and looked at her.
"Yes I do" I said with a small smile. "I missed them a lot" I added as I looked at her with a smile. She stared at me for a moment before returning the smile.
"You'll see them eventually. They are pretty busy right now." She said. I nodded in response as I continued eating.
It was all the same excuse everytime. Busy busy busy. They don't always have time for their own daughter. Even when it's my birthday. They would just send gifts and anything they could ever think of. But all I wanted was just to see them. Just to see my parents there, seeing me blow my candles every year. I got used to all of those lies and started to have trust issues because of that.
After finally getting done eating, grandma told me that she's going to rest and I should clean up the table and wash the dishes before going to bed. I nodded in response as I watch her disappear in her bedroom. After she left the kitchen, I started to do my chores.
After everything, I finally went to my bedroom and sat again in my desk chair. The memories that flooded through my mind three hours ago are still lingering in my head.
I can't help but not get distracted about it. It's annoying.
After a few minutes, I stood up and laid on my bed. I stared at the ceiling as my mind went blank.
What does being loved by someone feels like?
It has always been the same question in my mind every time I lay in bed while staring at the ceiling. Gosh I look like a loveless bastard. I mean I am loveless yes but- ugh.
I groaned in annoyance as I buried my face on my hands while laying down.
After a while, I pulled my hands away from my face and glanced at my bedside table. On the top of it, there's a book. It's one of my collections in historical romance. I sat up and reached for it. I looked through the pages and noticed that I have so many highlighted quotes.
I slightly smiled when I remembered the first time I read this book. I was obsessed with the main lead and highlighted my favorite quotes of his.
"I love you and I'll always do." — Clifford
"I still can't believe the fact that you're finally mine and mine alone." — Clifford
"Here, I saw these tulips freshly bloomed this morning. I picked a few to give it to you knowing it's your favorite."
— Clifford
I couldn't help myself not to form a smile and buried my face on my pillow. I love the way he expresses his feelings towards her. Gosh she's so lucky!
I sat up again and scanned through the pages. I really love reading Historical Romance books. I glanced towards the corner of my room were my guitar is. I stood up and grabbed it. I sat back down on my bed and started to play.
Ever since I was young, I always love to play the guitar. Music helps me to calm my mind and it gives me peaceful vibes. I really can't imagine myself living without music.
I continued to play my favorite songs and also the song that I wrote. I continued to play while listening to the beautiful melody that the guitar is making.
Later that night, I sat on my desk chair while reading a book. It's already 11 pm and I was still awake. I can't help myself not to read another chapter of this book everytime I finished one.
After a few more chapters, I yawned because of sleepiness. I stared at the book for a while before making a small smile. I grabbed my pen and diary and started to write something. I stared at my diary for a few minutes before slowly writing.
'Romance back in the past must be really romantic. I wonder what it feels like to be treated like a princess, lady and a queen. Must be very nice and amazing. Having a man who's vulnerable and loyal and gives you the love you've always wanted? Gosh so romantic.'
I stared at my diary as I rested my chin on my hand. A gentle smile scaped my lips as I continued to write.
'I wish that could go back in time. The time when nobles and duchess still exist. Large mansions and elegant gowns. Large gardens that are full of different flowers. How I wish I was born early.'
I stopped feeling more sleepy than before. It's almost midnight. I stared at my diary wanting to write more but my sleepiness takes over me. I leaned on my desk and started to write again.
'Maybe..just maybe..I could find the person that will treat me with care, loyalty and respect...'
My eyes slightly closing as I continued to move my hand.
'A person that...'
I stared at my diary for a while before finishing the sentence.
'....will love me endlessly'
My eyes finally gives up and I drifted to sleep. My pen fell off my hands as my eyes are finally closed and my breathing became steady.
Everything was dark like a void. My body was numb and everything around me is cold. It's like I'm in a different place. I couldn't see anything because of the darkness that surrounds me. I closed my eyes as I tried to calm myself from panicking.
'Reyna..'
My eyes lit up from when I heard someone spoke. A soft but deep voice. It sounded so familiar..where did I hear that voice before?
Before I could say something, I suddenly fell unconscious.
I couldn't move. All I could do is breath. What's happening, am I dying? God no..
After a few moments, my eyes slightly opened and realized I was not in my bedroom anymore but laying on the grass surrounded by squirrels and bunnies in the woods.