Modern Family
---
Scene: Dunphy Household – Phil's Latest Genius Plan
(The Dunphys are back home after school. Claire is unloading groceries. Phil bursts into the kitchen, beaming with far too much excitement.)
Phil: (Excited.) "Family! Gather around! I have an announcement!"
(Cut to Claire's talking-head interview.)
Claire: (Deadpan.) "When Phil says he has an announcement, it means one of two things. Either he's found a life-changing business idea… or he's about to fall off something really high."
(Cut back to the kitchen. The kids begrudgingly gather around.)
Phil: (Grinning.) "I have signed up for—wait for it—an illusionist training course! That's right—your dad is going to become… a magician."
(Long pause. Absolute silence.)
Alex: (Finally.) "Why?"
Phil: (Proudly.) "Because, sweetheart, magic is an art form! A skill of deception, distraction, and mystery—" (pauses, leans in.) "—And because I love seeing people's reactions when I pull a coin out of their ear."
Luke: (Excited.) "Wait! Do we get a rabbit?!"
Claire: (Alarmed.) "We are not getting a rabbit."
(Cut to Luke's talking-head interview.)
Luke: (Disappointed.) "I don't care about magic. I just really want a rabbit."
(Cut back to the kitchen.)
Haley: (Rolling her eyes.) "Great. So we're that family now?"
Phil: (Ignoring her.) "Now! Who wants to see my first trick?"
(He pulls out a deck of cards and fumbles with them. A few fall on the floor.)
Claire: (Sighs.) "Phil, please don't do this in public."
Phil: (Smugly.) "Oh, I am." (Pauses.) "I signed up for a live magic performance at your charity event next week."
(Claire freezes. Her eye twitches.)
Claire: (Tense.) "You. Did. What?"
(Cut to Claire's talking-head interview.)
Claire: (Rubbing her forehead.) "Do you know what's worse than public embarrassment? Knowing it's coming, and not being able to stop it."
---
Scene: Jay & Gloria's House – Manny's Confidence Crisis
(Over at Jay's house, Manny is dramatically pacing.)
Manny: (Sighing.) "It's official. My love is unnoticed."
Jay: (Not looking up from the TV.) "Shocking."
Manny: (Ignoring him.) "What does it take, Jay? Do I need to suffer for my art? Be mysterious?"
Jay: (Deadpan.) "Or maybe… just be a kid?"
(Cut to Gloria's talking-head interview.)
Gloria: (Smiling.) "Manny is sensitive. Passionate. He reminds me of my uncles back in Colombia—always writing poetry, always heartbroken." (Pauses.) "Most of them got married by fifteen."
(Cut back to Jay, looking at Manny.)
Jay: (Sighs.) "Listen, kid. Women don't fall for big gestures. You gotta play it cool."
Manny: (Determined.) "Cool. Got it." (Pauses, frowning.) "What does cool mean?"
(Jay just shakes his head.)
---
Scene: Elliot's House – The App Dilemma
(Cut to Elliot in his bedroom, typing furiously on his laptop. His screen is filled with lines of code.)
(Cut to Elliot's talking-head interview.)
Elliot: (Shrugging.) "People at school waste time on social media. I'm building one. Except mine actually works."
(His dad, Daniel, suddenly walks in, peering over his shoulder.)
Daniel: (Curious.) "What's this?"
Elliot: (Casually.) "An app."
Daniel: (Impressed.) "Oh yeah? What's it do?"
Elliot: (Grinning.) "It's a homework tracker—except students can sell their notes. Like a marketplace."
(Daniel pauses, then slowly nods.)
Daniel: (Proud.) "That's exactly how Wall Street works."
(Cut to Daniel's talking-head interview.)
Daniel: (Smirking.) "Kid's got the instincts. He's basically the next Steve Jobs… if Steve Jobs was fifteen and had to mow the lawn every Saturday."
(Back to Elliot's room. His mom, Rachel, now enters, arms crossed.)
Rachel: (Suspicious.) "Is this legal?"
Elliot: (Thinking.) "…It's school legal."
Rachel: (Frowning.) "What does that mean?"
Elliot: (Casually.) "It means they haven't made a rule against it yet."
(Rachel just stares at him. Daniel pats Elliot on the back.)
Daniel: (Proud.) "You remind me of me at your age."
Rachel: (Annoyed.) "Exactly my concern."
---
Scene: Dunphy House – Claire's Regret
(Cut back to the Dunphys. Claire is silently panicking about Phil's magic performance while he continues practicing.)
(Phil attempts to pull a coin from Luke's ear. Instead, he accidentally flings it across the room.)
Phil: (Recovering.) "That was part of the trick."
(Cut to Claire's talking-head interview.)
Claire: (Shaking her head.) "No, it wasn't."
---