Earth. 2014

On my walks to college, I see a lot of things, good and bad. But what really defines good and bad? That question has been circling in my mind for a while now. From bullying to gossiping, even killing. Why do people do the things they do? I find myself running through countless possibilities.

Imagine this: You have a family, but no job. You can't put food on the table for your kids. Desperate, you get involved in the underworld and are given a task. To kill one "bad guy." If you do it, you'll have enough money to feed your kids, to secure their future, even to send them to college one day.

So, is a bad thing always bad? I guess it depends on your perspective.

This is what I do every day: I observe. I watch people, study their behaviors, and wonder: why do they make the choices they do? What drives their decisions?

I'm Sebastian, and my life is full of questions. I like thinking about what most people would call trivial or stupid. Maybe that's why I love my job, or at least the idea of it. I'm supposed to be an analyst, someone who thrives on data and patterns. But so far, my "career" is just rejection after rejection.

Today, I submitted my 63rd job application. You can probably guess how that went. I didn't even get an interview. They said I was "incapable" of doing the job.

Most people call me a sick bastard. Over time, I started to believe them. What's wrong with me? Sure, I'm overweight, but does that really justify the bullying?

I once wanted to change. I thought about exercising, turning my life around. But even my own family didn't believe in me. They said my weight was the reason for famine in the world. Their words planted a darkness in me, a shadow I couldn't shake. I began to see the worst in everything.

Then I met Lara. She changed everything. She encouraged me to exercise, gave me the mental strength I'd been missing, and, eventually, she became my lover.

For the first time in my life, things were getting better. But where there is light, there's always darkness.

Two years later, Lara died in a car accident. The same year, I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. The doctors gave me two months to live, two excruciatingly painful months.

Since then, I've…

Given up.

PANG!