~PRESENT DAY~
"Ahh..."
As I felt the light brush of the cold wind hitting the sides of my cheeks, I knew I had succeeded. This was one of the only times in my accursed life when I felt something, anything; other than the constant reminder of the despair brought upon by my own hubris. But now wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity. It was a time of celebration, of joy.... for me, at least. The blood on my hands, not mine of course; was the only thing that reminded me that I was a human being too. Wasn't it wondrous? The thick smell of blood with contrast to the free-flowing wind of nature, was this heaven? It may have been for some while not for others. I belonged to the former. This was not the first the I had killed someone, no; neither would it be the last. But it was in fact the first time I had killed someone bearing the same surname as me. Killing him didn't feel difficult, actually; killing him didn't feel like anything at all. It felt just like what a 9-5 worker would feel during his work. I was apathetic the whole time while I was ecstatic after completing the job. These recent 3 years have made me question myself to the point where I didn't even consider myself a human anymore. Was I truly a human being made up of flesh and blood? Or was I just a beast donning a human skin blending into society. I had no answer. The one who could give me an answer was beneath me squirming like a worm.
"He deserved it."
This was the only sentence that gave me salvation. While I was joyful, a part of me knew that I did something that could never be taken back. Now, there was no place for me in this world. No safe sanctuary in neither heaven nor hell. I got up. Then I walked. I walked. I walked and walked until... I didn't? I stopped and laughed heartily? Or at least I think I was the one laughing. I didn't recognize the sound escaping from my lips. I laughed like I was laughing for the first time in years; which it was. I laughed not because I was free now, quite the opposite in fact. I laughed because I knew I had nothing. No emotions. The only emotion I felt these few last years, REVENGE, was gone. I had done it. I had avenged her. Then why did I still feel this way? As I was thinking, I fell.