I never had a childhood. I was born on December 31, 2017, in New York; only my father knows who my mother is and refuses to tell anyone. I was raised by the Avengers, but it was mainly my father and Bucky Barnes who did. I was five when the final war with Thanos took place. I don't remember where I was at the time, but I know I was safe during the war. In the years that followed, my father and Bucky filled my life with stories of bravery and sacrifice, teaching me the values that defined the heroes they were.
Three years after the war, Bucky was killed while on a mission with Bruce. I was outside playing and was the first one to know of his death due to that. I'm still not sure how he died, but I know it wasn't pretty. The news shattered my world, leaving a hollow ache where joy once was.
A year after that, Bruce found an equation for time travel that did not require the stones to be used, and my dad was the one who wanted to try it. I remember it like it was yesterday; I was begging my dad to not do it because I had a bad feeling about it, but he promised me that he would come back and take me to get ice cream, so I reluctantly let him do it because I knew there was no fighting Steve Rogers. As he stepped forward, I watched in trepidation, my heart racing with a mix of fear and uncertainty.
Bruce got the equation wrong, so when my dad tried to time travel, there was a time rip that tried pulling my dad apart. Bruce quickly was able to stop the machine, and everyone carefully brought my dad inside to the hospital area. They left me outside, completely forgetting about me. I was on my knees sobbing when he died. No one had to tell me he died; I could feel it. The weight of the moment still presses down on me, and I can barely comprehend what had happened.
An hour later everyone realized I was missing and came looking for me. Steven came outside looking for me and found me curled up on the ground sobbing. He quickly brought me inside to be with the others.
That day was the last day of my childhood; the next day I was thrown into training and lessons with all of the Avengers by Nick Fury. On my 10th birthday I was forced to sign the contract that would make me an Avenger; I had no choice. Steven and Clint tried to stop it from happening, but nothing they said or did could get Nick to change his mind.
Now five years later I still have no choice. I'm forced to go on missions and kill people or jump out of way too high planes. My childhood was only nine years, and I don't remember most of it. Most of the Avengers try to keep me safe, but there is no true way to keep the daughter of Captain America safe. In the past five years, I've been kidnapped and tortured; I've been stuck under buildings and trapped inside. I've been through hell and never had any time to grieve my father.
Maybe all of this is why I'm so hard on myself; maybe this is why I quickly found out what Nick Fury was doing; maybe that's why I let him take me, just so he could leave my family alone. Each scar tells a story, and while I long to heal, the shadows of my past continue to linger, reminding me of the battles I've faced.
I was 13 when Fury sent me on my first death mission. I didn't realize it then, but he was sending us all on death missions that he had planned himself to kill us. We all survived, though I'm not sure how, but we did. Looking back, I can see the twisted logic behind his actions—it was a brutal test of resilience and loyalty. Each challenge he crafted was less about the objective and more about seeing who would stand tall when faced with the abyss.
One day I was going to my room when I heard Wanda and Clint talking. "Fury has been off ever since Steve died," Clint said.
"Clint, he has all of the missions planned so that we don't die, you know that," Wanda hissed.
"There's something odd about this, and we both know I'm not the only one who feels that," Clint said as he turned around, leaving.
Wanda quickly left after that, and I went to my room and started thinking about what they had said. Fury really was trying to kill us; he isn't on our side.
Later that night I went into Nick Fury's office. After watching him put in the password to his office, I knew it was my birthday. Once I snuck into his office, I saw all of his plans for the next missions, and from that night forth, I slowly changed the mission plans to the point that he wouldn't realize it was wrong to keep my team alive.
The Avengers constantly told me that I had my father's mental and physical strength and also the power to be able to lead a team, but they also told me I had Tony Stark's brain and that I was just as smart as him. I've never understood why they constantly told me this, but it helps me realize the people I'm trying to save each night, even if it means I don't get any sleep for several days.
On my fourteenth birthday, Steven pulled me to the side and asked me why I didn't sleep much anymore. I made him promise he wouldn't tell anyone, especially Fury, and once he did, I told him everything: how Fury was trying to kill us, how I changed the missions every night, and how I didn't have an education anymore due to all of the training I was forced to do.
Steven somehow was able to convince Fury to allow me to go to school again, and it helped. I trained just as much while still getting an education and was able to change the mission plans.
The one thing I realized that I could do if my life depended on it was gymnastics and running. I ran 15 miles starting from 4:30 to 7 before school every day and 20 before I went to bed each night. I also was able to go to several gymnastics classes each week, and I quickly rose to the hard classes.
At some point when I was 14, I met my two best friends, Billy Maximoff (who everyone calls Teen) and Naomi Starlight. I met Teen one day after he showed up at the training base; Wanda instantly knew who he was and let him in. Teen and I quickly became close seeing as we were the only teenagers there. I met Naomi at school, and at first I thought we were going to hate each other because we were so much alike, but the two of us quickly became close friends.