«Pagliacci is an opera where, at the end of the first act, the clown Canio is shown to have discovered his wife's infidelity, but must prepare to act, for the show must go on. «Ridi, Pagliaccio, e ognun applaudirà! » -Laugh, clown, and everyone will applaud you-»
Blitzo stood in his office, looking wistfully at various objects he pulled out of drawers and collected from around his office, scattering them all around his desk and reminiscing about his past glories, and his life in general.
He was somewhat shocked by what had happened on television the day before and Stolas declaring that he would marry Octavia. Among these items was the day's newspaper, which told the same story.
«Father & Daughter: A new royal drama» was the title of the story. «If our readers recall, yesterday we published a news article that had come to us at the last-minute, showing Prince Stolas of Ars Goetia having a romantic tryst with his daughter, Princess Octavia. As well as accusing the princess of manipulation on the supposed evidence of an aphrodisiacal balm found in her room». This was followed by the same images from the previous day's news article, published by Stella. «Later, Prince Stolas himself would interrupt the News666 news set to confirm his relationship and deny his daughter's possession of drugs and claim not to have been manipulated. Finally, he confirmed that he will marry his daughter as soon as she turns 18. » Following this were pictures of Stolas having the conversation with the presenters. The newspaper also took the liberty of publishing the comments of several of those present on set on the day of the events along with photos of the interviewees. Many questioned the need to wait until that age, others the need to formalize it and others just didn't care. But Blitzo went round and round, unable to swallow the truth.
So, he continued to look at the things he had placed, as nostalgia began to invade his mind.
As a child, Blitzo had a difficult life too, but life would smile on him, leaving him with people who would take care of him as he grew up.
Working in the circus as a child alongside Fizzarolli, Blitzo always wanted to make it in the entertaining industry -as he was constantly being overshadowed by his partner and friend who, with his charisma, constantly had to rescue the show from the bad jokes or poor performance that Blitzo delivered. His wish was to be able to help his mother and the poor situation she lived in with his sister Barbie, and to one day be as good as Fizz, his obsession with helping his mother had reached the point where he was able to; through his father's manipulations; trick an unwary child who; having no one to play with -would raid the treasury of his palace so that he could deliver it to his father who was waiting outside, sadly only to realize afterwards the greed of his father and the misery resulting from his father's selfishness, for none of this had come into the hands of anyone other than his father.
Despite all this, Blitzo was able to adapt to his reality and make the most of it, continuing his show career alongside Fizzarolli, until Fizzarolli's ambition overcame his morals and Blitzo went his own way. Sadly, unable to do much for his mother and sister, he would eventually defect from there too, to live independently.
The shame he felt about it was always such on his conscience that he would constantly erase himself from photos with a black marker, refusing to be part of those he promised to help and failed. Never reaching the point of being able to forgive himself for his failure.
This would also trigger in him an immense difficulty in expressing his emotions properly, always hiding what he felt behind jokes and bad gags that only he could find funny; while others found them for what they were, excuses to avoid the subject. He would also eventually use his insipid humour to insult; rather than to make people laugh.
His constant inability to control his money would also shape a large part of his life, to the point of ruining his romantic relationships; as with Verosika, spending his money on riding lessons.
And he would end up forming the company; I.M.P. to continue financing his hobbies.
This would lead him to meet Stolas again, for having a book that allowed him to go to the human world was the perfect tool to start the business.
One thing he didn't count on was that this would start a new wave of adventures in his life. And one in particular he would hate to love.
His memories would soon be interrupted by the sound of his office door opening.
— Sir? You've been inside all day, are you okay?
—What do you want Moxxie?
—Nothing, it's just that since yesterday you've been a bit distant after what happened on TV.
—I'm fine Moxxie, close the door.
Behind Moxxie, but covered by the door, was Millie, who encouraged him to enter the room. But as Moxxie opened the door wider to enter, Blitzo threw one of the objects he was observing at him, to which, startled, he slammed the door shut, signalling to Millie and Loona that it was better to leave him alone.
Blitzo remembered in detail everything he had experienced since he started «dating» Stolas. And he remembered it with a certain nostalgia that stirred his heart in a way that bothered him; but filled him with a warm feeling of love that he could not shake off.
He recalled with some annoyance the words he said that night after the fiasco at Ozzie's, where Stolas, trying to improve the situation, invited him in, and Blitzo, annoyed by the humiliation, reminded him that they were no more than two people who would fuck for the sake of a book.
He remembered yesterday when Stolas mentioned it to him during the discussion about the newspaper.
However, he couldn't help but feel bad about losing him.
And indirectly motivated by his jealousy, he began to think of the times he had seen Stolas with Octavia, and to analyse whether at any time there was anything that might have announced even if subtly such an unprecedented union. This being a few weeks after Ozzie's, the day when Octavia had stolen the Grimoire and they had to search for her in Los Angeles, California; in the world of the living. So, he started recalling the events.
***
After a violent talk with Loona, without realizing it in time; Octavia was transported to the human world, and there was no one to ask for help but Stolas, with panic in his voice and in his eyes, Blitzo would make the call and confront a furious Stolas who would destroy the front door demanding for answers.
When they were already in the world of the living, the search plan was organized, where they would first get the disguises, because Stolas; unable to remember at that moment the correct spell, would not be able to give Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie a human appearance. Leaving the alley where they had appeared, Stolas would take the opportunity to steal some glasses that he thought «went with his eyes. »
But like many of Blitzo's plans, this would unfortunately not work out as he had hoped, as almost immediately Millie and Moxxie would be left behind by a street musician offering his latest album to distracted passers-by, completely distracting Moxxie who now couldn't leave without paying for the probably disappointing album.
Blitzo would know about this later; for once back in hell everyone would tell their own version of events.
If his memory served him properly, as Millie related it; she and Moxxie sang, as a way of generating money to be able to buy the record; something completely unnecessary in Blitzo's eyes, but which somehow made sense to the two of them, while Blitzo thought Millie needed to stop fulfilling her husband's whims.
«Millie! These artists put their heart and soul into their work. I can't just give it back like it's worthless! » was the excuse Moxxie gave at that time.
Loona would also take her own course as she was not really interested in rescuing Octavia or the book, due to her recent fight with Blitzo. Of course, that was not the version she told when she returned, saying that she «thought she recognized Octavia's scent. »
In the meantime, Stolas and Blitzo would get the disguise and follow the original plan. Which, due to Blitzo's creativity, consisted of walking around aimlessly waiting for Octavia to magically appear.
—I still can't believe you can't learn your spells after all these years of reading that thing. —Blitzo exclaimed, annoyed by the itchy wig—.
—Shut up Blitz, I don't exactly see why we should have a sense of humour while my daughter is in danger in this world. Especially when it's your fault that MY book was stolen.
—I get it, I get it. Besides, leaving aside that I still don't know how you found us that time the humans caught us, why didn't you do the same trick to transport us directly to Octavia?
—Yhea... —Stolas nervously began to adjust the collar of his shirt—. I just knew where you were.
—Ok... And why would your daughter run in the first place?
— I don't know, I was so busy arguing with Stella...
—Even after the divorce?
— Yes, she still hasn't taken her stuff out and I'm sick of it. -Stolas, noticing that his mind was once again focused on his fights with Stella, couldn't help but stop and think about what he was doing—. I'm a terrible father...
Blitzo still felt somewhat indifferent towards Stolas at the moment, but because of the recent discussion with Loona, he couldn't help but let empathy take over the course of the conversation.
— Do you have this kind of problem with Loona, Blitz? —Stolas asked him, looking thoughtful—.
—Uh...? —Blitzo was completely immersed in thoughts of Loona—. Well...
In that moment, and now that he remembered it in such detail, Blitzo thought of the time he met and adopted Loona, remembered how he saw in her eyes the same loneliness he saw in himself, the way she violently raged at the other hellhounds in the kennel when she felt attacked -it made him think of all the times he had to somehow defend himself against all those who mocked his mediocrity.
One way or another he couldn't stop thinking about how much he identified with her and the desire he felt to give her a life he couldn't have. But the inexperience of fatherhood and his own traumas did not allow him to truly be the father he wanted to be.
***
Stealthy tears began to trickle from Blitzo's eyes as he remembered this, both that day and now as he relived the memories while holding the adoption plaque in his hands; letting those tears fall and slide along the glass.
***
After wiping away his tears, he finally articulated a response to Stolas.
—Loona... she's a special girl, I adopted her just before she turned 18. I'm not sure I am the best parent for her either. And mine was a greedy jerk, so you can see I learned from the best, huh?
—Mine wasn't the best either. But that's what it's all about, isn't it? Being better parents than our parents. Besides, I'm sure that, just as you love Loona, she loves you, you just need to talk to her.
—See who's talking. Remember why we're here?
— I am learning! Forgive me for wanting to help you. And we are here because of your incompetence.
After a few seconds Blitzo finally responded.
—Thank you, Stolas.
—You're welcome, Blitzy. Now, let's look for my daughter.
After hours of walking in silence, Blitzo reopened the conversation.
—And as for Ozzie's...
—There's nothing to talk about it, Blitz, you made things very clear that night.
—I know, but I think that-
Blitzo was interrupted by a pamphlet that flew into his face, when he saw it, he saw that it spoke of a concert during a star shower that was to take place that night. Furious he balled it up, but before he could throw it Stolas stopped him and picked up the paper.
—Azathot's tears!
—Whose what now? —Blitzo asked in confusion—.
—They are tonight, I had promised Octavia that we would see them, that's why she ran away! I'm sure of it!
Stolas continued reading the pamphlet which, to give a better description, was blue with white, and with shooting stars formed into the shape of an owl.
Star shower night
Live
Griffith Park
At 9:00pm
Music, booze and party.
The rest of the flyer was littered with advertisements for unknown musicians who would be playing that night as well as the companies sponsoring the event promising incredible promotions on alcohol.
This immediately revived Stolas' hopes to the point that he clutched the pamphlet tightly to his chest while Blitzo just stared at him in confusion.
***
For our present Blitzo this was beginning to confuse him even more; for he found himself unable to discern whether the happiness was in finding his daughter as a father, or as a lover. Nevertheless, he continued to review the facts.
***
While this was going on, according to Loona's account, she also found this pamphlet interesting, mainly because it was plastered on every wall in every street, giving an almost comical contrast to the fact that neither Stolas nor Blitzo had noticed it before.
She, being ignorant of Stolas' promise, paid no attention to it, but would attend from mere curiosity and amusement. Though the decorations certainly raised slight feelings of regret. While Blitzo and Stolas were surely looking rampant; she was strolling and drinking coffee.
From what Millie and Moxxie said, by this time they were being kidnapped by a talent scout associated with this very event, who, upon the sudden news that one of the singers would not be performing due to a terrible accident. According to what they heard the human babbling, someone or something had fallen on him, leaving him in the hospital.
So as if fate would have it, they would all end up seeing each other there.
But it was still many hours before nightfall. He knew that such an event would be full of humans, and he did not know if his daughter knew the spell to change her appearance. The thought of what might happen to her was enough to cause him an anxiety attack.
—Stolas, calm down. Now we know where Octavia will be, we just have to figure out how to get in and find her. The pamphlet says there is no entry fee so there will be too many people, but at the same time it improves the chances of finding her.
—Don't ask me to calm down, what if she's not there? And we waste the whole day for nothing. What if she gets caught and gets hurt? What if she doesn't go because she doesn't know about the concert or gets scared of the crowd?
Blitzo could see Stolas physically tormented, with shaky legs and arms that looked like jelly.
—Stolas! Calm down for a fucking second!
Stolas reacted to his insults in the worst way, grabbing him with both arms and lifting him into the air like a child. Shaking him as he spoke.
—What did I just say to you?! —Stolas tried to keep back tears of concern—.
This scandal would not go unnoticed, as people would start filming these two fighting on their phones. One even went so far as to tell Stolas to leave the little man alone, which infuriated Blitzo, making him forget that he was in the air because of Stolas and directly start insulting him for calling him a little man, kicking and screaming.
—What did you just say to me, you piece of shit? I'll show you what a little man does, you son of a bitch! —Blitzo threatened as he drew his gun and shot the human—.
As everyone began to act and run, Stolas, stunned by what had happened, grabbed Blitzo like a football and began to run away from the scene while shouting at him.
—Blitzo for the love of Lucifer, what were you thinking?!
—He was insulting me!
An enraged Stolas just turns to look at him with his eyes and glasses glowing like two gems, almost perfectly simulating his real appearance, where his four eyes would flash fleetingly like two torches. This silenced Blitzo for the rest of the escape.
After much running, Stolas exhaustedly laid Blitzo on the ground while he caught his breath.
—Give me your weapon.
—Okay, okay, I understand that you're angry. But-
—Do you have any idea what might have happened? What if we got into trouble ourselves? How could we look for Octavia like that? Well, I suppose I could make another portal, but-
At this rate, Blitzo wanted to change the subject, so he did his best to return to the topic at hand.
— O-ok Stolas, I'm sorry, how about we focus on your daughter? I thought about it and the best option would be to go on stage. We could see the masses from there.
Stolas was ready to hit Blitzo, but the idea, as far-fetched as it sounded, didn't seem to bother him. And he decided to indulge it.
—And how do you plan to get to the stage? You're not really a very subtle person.
—Ha! And how do you think I kill the humans they hire me for?
—Probably the same way you killed that other human.
Blitzo fell into an annoyed silence before replying.
—Okay, shows are my thing. You should always test the equipment before you start, and they do it with the audience to get them excited. If we can pass for staff; they'll give us unlimited access and we can work on something that gives us a perfect vantage point. They'll probably have spotlights; we could use them to shine them on people until we find them. —Blitzo added—.
Stolas thought the plan was too improbable and definitely believed it would fail. But desperation was enough to make him agree.
—Very well, we will follow your plan. But if it fails and we don't find Octavia by today, say goodbye to the book, and say goodbye to me.
—No pressure then.
—And first we must find the park that the advertisement talks about.
***
Blitzo was still confused in his memories, on the one hand, he understood that Stolas had no intention of pursuing the subject of Ozzie's and that made him think that he no longer wanted anything to do with him; he had clearly dumped him by refusing the invitation. On the other hand, he understood his concern for finding his daughter, for that is what a father would do, but the intensity he showed was such that he could not discern it from a paternal love and a romantic one. Could it be that after rejecting him, he found shelter in his daughter and that is why he avoided the subject?
***
—Okay, it took us ALL FUCKING DAY. But here it is.
—Griffith Park, I suppose it's a charming lot, although I have certain recommendations for the flowers... —Stolas replied as they walked along and he checked the planters, curious as to where the show was to be held.
It was a gigantic green area, with a large lake. When they reached the stage platforms, they were both looking for a way up to the stage, Blitzo who was more experienced knew that he would find the access stairs at the back, so he went ahead.
In their search, some humans noticed their presence and came running towards them.
—Hey, you two!
«Oh no... » they both said to each other when they heard the humans speak.
—You must be Steve and Bryan, Richard told me you were coming to help. By the way, have you heard from him? He's not answering his phone.
Blitzo quickly improvised to avoid detection.
—He... yes... he's... he's... Feeling sick!
—Oh... yes... he took something on the way here and had to go to the hospital. —Stolas continued with the lie.
—Yeah, yeah, I don't care. Steve you're going to work on the projectors and you Bryan will be on the smoke. Make sure things work during the show, we start in an hour.
They didn't know it at the time, but they were all in the same place, at the same time, but exactly where they couldn't see each other. According to what they all talked about on their way back, Moxxie and Millie were being encouraged to practice their singing inside a van parked near the stage, while Blitzo was trying to recognize the equipment he had to check, and Stolas was awkwardly stumbling over wires and connections in the lighting area. Octavia was trying to find a place where she could see the night sky with less pollution obstructing her view, and Loona was curiously checking out the people she encountered, to see if by any chance she could find Octavia. Although this she described as «frantically searching. »
When the show started, Blitzo managed to find the smoke machine, which for a long time obstructed the view of Stolas who was moving the projectors trying to illuminate the crowd.
As the two looked for ways to get a better view of the people there, Loona moved closer to the front rows and Octavia tried the opposite, trying to escape the sea of people that had formed around her in such a short time.
After an opening song by a somewhat untalented singer, Moxxie and Millie appeared on stage. The first to see them was Blitzo who was still trying to stop the smoke that was blocking his view, and after shooting the machine to turn it off and noticing his employees singing, he was completely stunned.
Stolas realized this when he heard the gunshot, thinking that Blitzo had killed someone again. And similarly, when he saw Millie and Moxxie, he was stunned by the scene. However, in his desperation he could only shout at Blitzo to keep looking for Octavia.
But this was just the beginning of the catastrophe, as Blitzo's shot would cause a short circuit in the machine and it would start to burn everything around it, which as Stolas moved the projectors towards where he felt Octavia was, he would end up falling off the platform and jumping onto one of the ropes; He would let himself slip onto the stage, falling to the side of the two singing imps, and Blitzo, noticing both the fire and Stolas, would run towards them, interrupting Moxxie and Millie who would stop singing to wonder what was going on. And Loona would add herself to the party by climbing onto the stage as she saw the four of them making a mess of the show.
— What the hell? Blitz?! —Moxxie said in surprise—.
—Hey Moxxie, would you mind telling me.... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
—I-it's a long story, sir, you see-
Meanwhile, Stolas looked up recovering from his fall and saw that one of the projectors flickering from the accident was pointed at a girl trying to push her way out, which was indeed Octavia.
—VIA! —shouted Stolas, leaving the three imps silent—. There Blitzy, it's via!
All five turned to the same spot and confirmed that it was indeed her. So, they ran off the stage.
Coming down the stairs was the same guy who had confused them an hour ago.
—Hey, what the fuck did you do?! I'll tell Richard.
Nobody bothered to answer him, on the contrary; he was pushed out of the way and one of the projectors, due to the fire, fell on top of him seconds later.
With a mess behind them and Octavia finally realizing who was behind her, Stolas couldn't help but run to embrace her immediately, removing his human disguise as he did so.
—My little starfire, Via. I was so worried.
—What are you doing here, Dad? —Octavia said as she brushed him off, avoiding eye contact—.
—Oh, Via I'm so sorry, I promised you we would see Azathot's tears, and I completely forgot.
—Yes, because it was more important to fight with mum.
—No way, because I'm a lousy father, I love you more than anything in the world. Oh, you had me so worried, I thought something terrible had happened to you and that you were at risk. If something had happened to you, I wouldn't have been able to-
—I'm sorry, Dad. —Octavia finally interrupted—.
—No via, I am sorry.
The two embraced each other again with all their might.
—Loony! You found Octavia, well do-
Loona greeted Blitzo with a kick to the testicles.
Meanwhile Moxxie wept as he watched the stage fall to ashes and the people run in terror.
—Oh Moxx' don't worry, you sang beautifully. —Millie was trying to encourage him—.
—Thank you, Millie... —Moxxie responded warmly, leaning his face against hers—. But I wanted to become a star. —He continued in a childish, almost sobbing voice—.
Stolas then approached the others, taking his daughter by the hand.
—Well, Blitz, you did it; your plan was a success. Now, shall we get the hell out of here?
—Yes please, this place smells like shit. —Loona replied—.
And so, Stolas conjured a portal back to the I.M.P. offices.
And although this is not known to Blitzo, Loona and Octavia would talk privately about Stolas after they returned, for she still seemed a little hurt that she had missed the event she had so longed to see.
—Hey...
—Hey... Thanks for finding me.
—It's nothing. —Loona replied as she sat down next to her on one of the benches outside the building—.
—Are you allright?
—I can't believe I was so stupid. I spent all day looking for a place to see the stars and, in the end, I couldn't see anything....
—Yeah, the show could have been better.... —Loona replied as she tried to light a cigarette, which Octavia helped her light by summoning a small flame from her hand—. Your dad was very worried about you.
—Of course, that's why he forgot his promise and chose to argue with my mother. Why does he hate her more than he loves me?
Loona, seeing Octavia's pain, couldn't help but feel in a similar role; Blitzo, though not her biological father, was trying to be a good father to her as well. But Loona refused to let him be her father, or rather, she assumed he wasn't quite her father and along with the rest of the world; she held a certain unfounded contempt for him that she only kept out of fear.
—Sometimes... sometimes it's not that simple. Things get difficult and we all have our own problems. Especially dads... And sometimes they screw up... well, all the time... But it doesn't mean they don't care.
—I guess he got in trouble for looking for me... setting everything on fire...
—Come on, try to understand your dad. He may not always do the right thing, but... he tries, and that's more important than you think... Ready to go back?
—Ready...
***
Blitzo could no longer discern whether or not he could see it coming, as tears again welled up in his eyes at the thought of losing Stolas forever.
Moxxie, Millie and Loona, who were trying to hear something through Blitzo's door, could only hear an imp trying not to cry.
—Dad? —Loona asked slowly as she opened Blitzo's office.
—Oh, hey Loony. Did you call me dad? You guys... D-didn't I f-didn't I give you a f-fucking order Moxxie?!
—It's ok boss, Moxx' is not to blame. —Millie defended—. We y'all worried about you'.
Everyone finally went into the office to comfort Blitzo.
—We know how much you love your friend Stolas; you should be happy that he found someone who loves him back. —Moxxie continued—.
Blitzo did not want to admit that despite his problems with Stolas and his own emotional problems, it was impossible to deny that he had intimate feelings for him. And that again, because of his inability to take control of the situation, he was losing another person he loved.
—Y-yes of course I am! These are tears of happiness you idiot.
—What do you say we give em' something extra special at the wedding? —Millie thought—.
—Octavia's birthday is in a few months. So, it's only a matter of time before they organize the wedding. —Loona added—.
Although in hell there is no date as in the human world, there is a concept of time such as days, weeks, months and years, and although they pass in different spans to the human world, they are governed by similar rules. Making Octavia's birthday something like the 16th of August.
—Come on, boss, cheer up. —Millie ended the conversation—.
Blitzo, though still heartbroken to see another love disappear from his life, could not help but be touched by the words of his friends, who now surrounded him, and in a way told him; that he was not alone. So, regaining his composure he stood up straight and turning to Loona asked.
—And you, who seems to know so much about everything. Loony, can you tell me what else you haven't told me that I should know?
—None of your fucking business, you idiot. —She replied, crossing her arms—.
—Not even for a treat? —Blitzo pulled a biscuit out of his bag in the shape of a little bone—.
—You're an idiot. —Loona replied in annoyance—.
Blitzo then threw the biscuit in the air and caught it like a frog catches a mosquito.
—GROSS!
And as if life were a lousy TV comedy. Imagine now that everyone was laughing together as the camera pans back and everything fades to black.
But the truth is that the things that are seen are almost always only what we wish others to perceive, while inside us our real feelings arise and run through our veins.
And Blitzo is no exception to this rule. With so much to express and no words to express it, he could only let himself corrode in his feelings and traumas while pretending otherwise for the sake of those he loves for fear of losing them, panicking at the thought of being alone again and having those he loves to see him for the monster he thought himself to be.
But, like Stolas, Blitzo would finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. And he would understand that his path is still being written that what he lives is not the end but only the journey to it. That, just as Stolas had found his new destiny, he would find his own, or rather, he had to find it to honour those who had supported him so much.
It was his turn to bring the show back from a lousy performance and reopen the curtain on a new act. One that would truly tell the story of the great Blitzo. In a big circus with a big office, and all those he loves in the stands clamouring his name.
But for what he is now, Blitzo, the sad clown who never made it in the circus or in the show, would take his second wind, for the show is not over until the ugly fat lady sings, and if necessary, he will cut that fat lady's throat, for it is not over until he says so.
And with this high note Blitzo left his office, leaving behind his various objects scattered on the table. A horse made of sticks, a feather from Stolas, Loona's adoption sheet, a glass from Loo Loo Land, various photos taken over the years and a dream. To start a new life, without him.