"What am I doing here, this isn't me! I'm not someone who should be doing these things, what if someone sees us and gets the wrong idea? Why does my heart get warm when he's around? This is a phase, isn't it? Has to be." Stella thought at the time. Slowly realising that she was making a mistake. But no matter how hard she tried to walk away she couldn't help but stare deeply into Moxxie's eyes. His gaze made her feel vulnerable and unconcerned.
Suddenly, Moxxie grabbed Stella by the hand and pulled her towards him. Stella was shocked by the sudden movement. Her head spun and her feet turned to jelly.
A part of Stella knew she couldn't allow herself to be seen on this way. But more important to her was to understand how real these feelings were. So, instead of letting go, she held his hand tightly as he escorted her down the street.
They walked in silence for a few seconds. No words were exchanged for a while, for Stella needed to understand what she was feeling now and only by spending time with him could she understand. Finally, after a few steps Moxxie broke the silence.
—I don't understand what you're trying to do, ma'am, but you're not going to get into the party. —Moxxie spoke as he signalled for a taxi—.
Moxxie then saw a taxi respond to the signal and immediately made his way back to the entrance with Millie and Andrealphus who were waiting somewhat stunned by the scene.
Stella stood watching in equal shock as Moxxie walked away completely stoic about the situation. Unable to comprehend what was going on as the taxi driver honked his horn over and over again, and when ignored, got annoyed and drove off.
Stella ran to catch up with Moxxie and grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face her once more. Millie, however, who had been watching silently from the start, began to get annoyed.
—Mam', if you want something with my husband, just say so. —Millie confronted her—.
Stella, hearing those words, felt as if something inside her was shattering. But out of that destruction was born a living flame of competition, she could not help but feel that she had won an opponent she must defeat; but she did not yet accept why this was the case.
So, Stella was silent, trying to hide her emotions –she ignored Millie and turned to look at her brother.
—Let's go. —She said coldly—.
Andrealphus, still puzzled, simply complied with his sister's whim and they turned away.
The rest of the evening passed without much omen for the newlyweds and their guests. When the hour was up, they all went home, and like the spell of a fairy godmother, the next morning everything went back to the way it used to be.
But the new chapter of Stella's life was just beginning, and it was that stumbling but small step that set the tone for what was to follow.
***
That morning Stella had woken up with a plan, she had previously sent Blitzo to be investigated; back when the affair with Stolas had just begun -and she knew about I.M.P. and their work. Eventually she came to learn that it was they who ruined her plans to use Striker to kill Stolas and much else. It was time to use that information to her advantage.
She then picked up the phone and stared at it for several minutes, rehearsing what she would say, or how she would say it. She put the phone away and took it out again. This was repeated about twice until she mustered her remaining strength and dialled.
—I.M.P., Loona speaking. —Loona's voice was heard—.
Stella was silent for a moment, took a deep breath and spoke.
—Good morning, I heard that it was you who were part of the security for Stolas' wedding. And I require a similar service. —Stella replied—.
—One moment please. —Loona replied—.
In the background, Loona could be heard shouting at Blitzo to pick up the phone, explaining what kind of call it was. Blitzo was beginning to resent the idea of being private security, they were an assassination agency. He was just doing Stolas a favour for obvious reasons; they were not private security. Nevertheless, he took the call and in an offended tone answered.
—Yes, uh, miss. We kill people, we don't look after them. —Blitzo said almost shouting—.
—I'll pay triple what you charge. I only need one of you; the little one with the bow tie will do. —Stella rebutted, sounding almost pleading or begging—.
—Moxxie? —Blitzo asked in surprise—.
—Yes, him. I'll pay whatever it takes. —Stella's tone of voice changed to one of jubilation—.
Blitzo succumbed to his greatest weakness after horses. Money.
—All right, where do you want him?
Stella then gave the address of a coffee shop near her mansion. She thought that if she gave the direct address, they would know who she was and the plan would fail; but the truth is that Blitzo didn't care, what was on his mind at the moment was the money.
—And get there as soon as possible. —Stella concluded before hanging up—.
The call had ended, But now what? Stella was suddenly starting to panic, staring at her phone as if for some reason it was going to ring. It was a minute before she reacted to what she did and immediately went back to her room, she dressed casually for the occasion, in shorts and a loose blouse, her idea was to look not too provocative but sensual enough. Once she had chosen her outfit, she checked herself two or three more times in front of the mirror and headed without pause to the cafeteria where she had summoned the little imp. And like a romance novel, they both arrived at the same time, which caused Moxxie to stop on his tracks when he saw who the client was, first at the beach and then at the party, now here.
—You? —Moxxie asked—.
—Don't... don't go. —Stella replied, and as soon as she saw him, she became romantic again, her tone of voice changing to a sweeter one than usual—. I can explain.
—Look, I don't care what problems you have with Mr. Stolas, but I'm not going to help you hurt him if that's what you want. —Moxxie was getting defensive—. Besides, what you did by slandering your own daughter in the paper, deplorable, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Stella tried not to take offence or explode at Moxxie's words, she felt judged and insulted, but she still had the strength to hold back. He was definitely a special case for her to be on the ropes like this.
—L... look, have a seat. I'll explain everything, I promise. —Stella walked quickly to a small table in the area outside the cafeteria, pulling up a chair to invite Moxxie to sit down—.
And as curiosity killed the cat, it bewitched the possum. Moxxie sat down somewhat innocently, and Stella followed suit, sitting on the other side. Stella was glad to see Moxxie finally agreeing to talk; completely forgetting that in a way he had no choice because it was work -she was completely focused on the little guy who was adorably wearing his little red bow tie suit.
—Don't you want something? It's on me. —Stella continued the conversation, signalling to a waiter before Moxxie could say no—. I'll have a frappuchino.
With every word she said, she became more nervous, and little by little Moxxie became aware of this pattern, which piqued his interest and made him complicit in whatever Stella had planned, if she had a plan at all.
—Make it two. —Moxxie continued—. Mine without whipped cream.
«Right away» replied the waiter and left.
—So, what do you want with me? Why me? —He began to question her—.
Stella was completely silent. She didn't know how to answer these questions, she was simply following a hunch and it was telling her that they should be together. She stared at him like a child who knows she did something wrong and hopes that with an adorable and tender look she won't be punished.
—Could you at least explain your hatred of Stolas? I understand that he cheated on you with my boss, but it doesn't explain why so much hatred. Am I missing something? —Moxxie continued, trying to get the truth out of her—.
When Stella had finally found the words to speak, the waiter came back with the drinks, only there was a problem. Moxxie's had whipped cream in it.
—Are you deaf?! —Stella shouted—. He said without the cream!
Stella looked like she was ready to rip the poor waiter's head off.
—All right, all right. —Moxxie interjected, somewhat aghast—. I'll just remove it myself.
Stella was somewhat surprised by Moxxie, who seemed unbothered by the mistake, while she seemed to be uncontrollably frustrated.
—But Moxxie... —Stella sounded like a chastened puppy again, lowering her voice—.
Moxxie simply scooped up the whipped cream with the spoon provided and placed it on a napkin.
—See? There. —Moxxie calmed her down—.
Stella wanted to understand Moxxie's purity, and she wanted to understand what drove her to act this way only with him. At the same time, Moxxie couldn't help but be curious about all of this, about what he understood about the situation -which wasn't much to begin with. So, who is this woman? She looked like she was going to run in terror at any moment. He then decided to take a different route to the confrontation he had been dealing with so far.
You could say that Moxxie felt pity at that moment, that he understood that maybe there was something more to it all; and you can't blame him -after all he was forced to live through with Blitzo and his emotional instability just recently. Moxxie had become something of a guru in the art of listening.
—Do you frequent this café a lot? —Moxxie asked—.
Stella was surprised by Moxxie's change of attitude and welcomed it.
—Yes! It's my favourite; and the nearest to my house. —Stella replied cheerfully—.
Actually, the cafeteria was nothing special, it was just like any other. Tables outside, tables inside. Baristas behind a bar full of different products for sale waiting like the walking dead for eight hours a day. The coffee was barely above mediocre, as was the service. And the décor left a lot to be desired, drab white everywhere.
But it was true that it was the closest, from Moxxie's point of view, you could see the mansion behind her no more than a block away.
—Don't you like it? —Stella asked next—.
—It doesn't taste the same or better than what I've tasted, but...
—Unforgivable! —Stella flared up violently again, interrupting Moxxie—.
—It's not bad! —Moxxie quickly continued loudly to calm her down—. You need to control your emotions more.
Stella immediately felt sorry for her attitude as her heart was racing for no reason she understood. Besides, she knew the quality of that coffee, what was she mad about?
—I'm sorry. —Stella said—. It's just that... I haven't been myself lately.
She looked down avoiding looking at Moxxie. It made her heart ache with sadness. But then he smiled at her again, and the hurt was gone. And again, there was comfort between the two, allowing them to continue in the cafeteria for a few more minutes.
Moxxie had no idea what Stella meant by "herself". For him who knew her so little, he had no reference image to know what the real Stella was like, beyond anything Stolas said about her anyways. So, he didn't know how bad Stella felt or why she was acting the way she was acting at the moment. All he knew was that she was sad, and that she needed someone by her side to make her happy -and a part of him wanted to be that someone.
But Stella feels guilty. Because, although she wants to spend time with Moxxie, she doesn't know how. Her mind goes blank as soon as she tries to make some kind of conversation. Sometimes laughing so hard that she looks like she's going to cry. Other times she would get angry without knowing why. These are good feelings. Better than having none at all, as she usually appears to have none. But she wished at that moment she knew how to be normal; like everyone else.
It was not long before lunchtime, and now they were walking through the busy streets of the Pride ring. Creatures of all kinds with their hands full of shopping bags, some carrying babies or pets. Stella was leading Moxxie to a specific place, a park where they could sit under a tree and relax.
—Look. —Stella said, pointing to the sky—.
A group of birds circled above them. Moxxie followed their flight with his eyes. He saw them go first one way and then another, they flew clockwise, then they flew in the opposite direction. For a moment he thought he understood them, but then he realised that he did not. Still, it was beautiful, he thought, don't you think? Maybe Stella did like it.
—What is it? —Stella asked, turning to look at him once more—.
—Nothing. —Moxxie replied, shaking his head—.
He was still trying to understand Stella's personality. Again, one minute she could look happy and then suddenly she looked so sad you thought she was about to cry, and he wanted to cry with her. Then she would laugh as hard as her lungs would let her, it was clear that she couldn't help it herself. So, he decided to just stay close to her, patiently waiting for her to find levelled ground.
—Very beautiful, don't you think? —Stella finally spoke—. So free.
Moxxie nodded his head, but once he turned back to the sky, the birds were gone.
When they arrived at the park, Stella and Moxxie found the perfect spot under a large tree. The leaves rustled softly above them, and the wind was soft and gentle. Birds were singing from nearby trees. It was very quiet there. They both seemed ecstatic to have escaped the noise of the crowd.
They both sat with their backs against the tree trunk, and Stella took Moxxie's hand. He felt warm and comforted. Instead of letting go of Stella's hand, he held it tightly and laced his claws with hers, closing his eyes. The soft breeze blew through the branches and smelled fresh and sweet.
—I used to come here all the time when I was younger, with my dad. I never knew why, I guess it was something I enjoyed doing. Even as I got older, I would still come here even if I was alone. I think it helped me get away from things.
Moxxie just listened to her in silence as she continued her monologue.
—If you want to. —You can stay here with me. We can lie down and rest for a while. Don't worry. No one will disturb us. This Park is always empty at this time of day. You could go to sleep and dream whatever you want and however you want.
Moxxie looked up into Stella's shining Eyes. She smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. As if she wished she could do the same but couldn't no matter how hard she tried. As if something or someone was blocking her from dreaming of all those things she really wanted.
—Please. Don't make me ask you twice. It is frowned upon to refuse a lady's request.
So Moxxie relaxed on the grassy ground and closed his eyes. He could feel Stella lying next to him, and when he opened his eyes, he could see her smiling at him. How wonderful! Moxxie thought to himself. He couldn't describe his happiness, but he wanted to feel it every day.
But then Stella started to cry. Moxxie pulled her close to himself. He put his hands around her, Stella smelled like flowers, he couldn't help but stroke her chin wiping away her tears as she pushed her face against his hand.
—How I miss him.
Moxxie tried to comfort her. An impulse made him kiss her on the forehead while stroking her plumage. After a while she stopped crying and leaned towards him.
—I'm sorry. —Stella said—. I was thinking of someone… I couldn't help it… knowing I'd never see him again. I'm sorry... —She continued looking at Moxxie in the eyes—. Do you think he loved me?
Stella was referring to Andras and how she used to do the same with him when they were on a date. She finally understood, she felt the same way she did when she was with him, but now with Moxxie.
Moxxie had no idea what Stella was talking about, did she mean Stolas?
—Yes. —Said Moxxie— I'm sure he did.
—I wish I had spent more time with him, get to know each other better. Before he died. Why did that happen? If I had known, maybe... he wouldn't have...
Moxxie shook his head, she wasn't referring to Stolas, but clearly, she was referring to someone important to her. Moxxie didn't know what was going on with Stella at that moment, who was she talking about so suddenly about? Was she referring to her father? She said this was her favourite place. She couldn't think of anyone else who could cause her so much pain and the information were limited.
—Maybe he wasn't meant to look after me forever. Maybe he just had to do it long enough.
A shiver ran through Moxxie's body, was she talking about her father? Moxxie touched her shoulder and said:
—What do you mean?
—It's stupid. You wouldn't understand.
Moxxie didn't say anything else, because he knew Stella was hurting inside. He understood what she was saying, but not what she meant.
—I wish I had the power to bring him back to life. I wish I could travel back in time and make the right decisions.
Moxxie sat up and looked Stella in the eye. She was so beautiful, she suddenly felt like kissing her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Besides, she was hurt. Who did he think he was to take advantage like that?
—Could you hold me while I sleep? —Stella asked—.
—Of course. —Moxxie continued—. Whatever you need.
So Moxxie took her hand and lay down next to her on the grass. He reached out to embrace her warm body and held her tightly against him. Sinking his head into the plumage of Stella's head, smelling her scent deeply. She smelled like flowers.
Moxxie stroked her cheek.
—You don't have to cry any more. —He whispered to her—.
—I miss him. And I haven't known how to get past this point.
Moxxie could feel Stella pressing against him. Then he realised what she wanted, so he rearranged himself and let her lie on his legs, using them as a pillow.
—Are you sure about this?
—Yes, I am. —Stella said—. The truth is that I've been hoping to do this since I met you, I don't know why.
Stella looked up, looking at Moxxie's face, he could feel her hand touching his cheek, and he stared into Stella's eyes. Her beak so close but so far away. An instinct inside of him wanted to kiss her, but he knew he shouldn't.
Then he realised that she was seeing something other than him. When he looked up, he saw a butterfly fluttering above them. Stella's eyes followed the butterfly until it flew away.
Stella smiled.
The two continued talking until the sun went down, but eventually Moxxie had to leave, so he gave her his phone number. Stella promised to call him tomorrow.
But he knew she was still very sad.
Moxxie left without another word.
That night Stella lay awake for hours, thinking about how the "date" had gone. She had never felt that way for years. So vulnerable. It reminded her of her days with Andras.
«How long will I feel like this. » She wondered to herself. «Will I ever feel better? Will I ever be able to forget him? »
She decided not to call Moxxie, she didn't want to make things worse, she must have scared him terribly with her emotional crisis, besides, he was a married man, who did she think she was? She wasn't a homewrecker. Besides, she was afraid to talk about what happened, she was sure Moxxie wouldn't understand.
She stayed like that for so long that by the time she fell asleep the sun had risen.
The day after that, she woke up early because she had things to do. But she was still anxious to hear from Moxxie. What if he called? Would she answer the phone? She wondered these things until she remembered that she had never given her his number.
She began to worry, she should have given it to him, but at the same time, she thought it was impossible for Moxxie to call.
«Maybe now he'll forget about me. » She thought to herself. «Maybe he'll go on with his life as if nothing happened. »
She felt so depressed, she almost didn't notice that her phone was ringing. Her heart skipped a beat with excitement when she realised who it was.
—Hello? —Stella replied.
—Hello, Stella? —She heard the voice say—. I'm Moxxie.
—Hello Moxxie... —Stella replied, trying not to sound excited—. How did you get my number?
—The company phone registers the numbers that call, plus you gave it to Loona to hire me. I saw your name on the list and wanted to call you.
—Oh. Well, um, thanks for calling.
—No problem. —Moxxie continued—. Sorry if things were awkward the other day.
—I'm... I'm sorry too, besides I was the awkward one. But I really enjoyed talking to you.
—Yeah, me too. I thought we could do it again.
—Sure! —Said Stella, trying her best to contain her excitement—. I guess we can meet somewhere.
—Do you have a place in mind?
Stella laughed.
—The coffee from last time is fine.
—Great! —Moxxie replied—. See you at two o'clock?
—Of course! —Stella was so nervous that she just hung up the call—.
«I wonder if this is real. » She thought to herself.
It was an hour before two o'clock and Stella was pacing up and down the mansion nervously. She was wearing a red dress that showed off her figure in a sensual but conservative way. She really looked beautiful.
«What if he doesn't show up?» she wondered. «Or if he shows up but decides to leave.» She covered her own mouth as she thought these things.
—Why can't I relax?! —Stella shouted—.
—Because you're in love. —Andrealphus said mockingly—.
—Am I? —Stella wondered—. Wait. What the fuck?
Stella didn't expect to run into her brother, neither that he knew what was going on.
—Oh, sister, you are so obvious! I know how you looked at him on the night of the wedding. I learned a few things from spending so much time with Asmodeus, you know?
—You know nothing! —Stella was incredibly annoyed at her brother for prying—.
—And now you're going to go and see him, aren't you?
—No. —Stella shouted—. I mean, yes, but not for that reason, we're just friends.
—You, friends with an imp.
—I'm not having this conversation. —Said Stella—.
That said, she left the mansion.
As she sat in the cafeteria waiting for Moxxie, she began to remember the first time she heard about Andras. How she fell in love with him, how they talked for hours every day. She remembered how he kissed her for the first time. She couldn't help but feel nostalgia and pain.
When Moxxie arrived they both had coffee.
—So, what brings you here? —Stella asked, trying to make conversation—.
—I was thinking about what happened the other day.
—Oh, I see. —Stella replied a little nervously—.
—Can I tell you something?
—Of course. —Stella nodded her head—.
Moxxie took a big breath and began:
—What happened to you? Stolas kept badmouthing you, I thought you were some kinds of villain or something.
—I am. —Stella replied—.
—What I'm trying to say is, I understand why. But I also think you have a good heart.
—Do you think so? —Stella replied intrigued—. What gave you that idea?
—How you acted that day. You've had problems too, haven't you?
—More than you think. —Stella admitted—.
—Do you want to talk about them?
—I don't know if I should.
—Do you trust me?
—Yes, I think so.
—Then tell me everything. —He took Stella's hands with his—.
After some silence they both finished their drinks and walked down the street holding hands.
—His name was Andras. —Stella said—. The man I cried for.
—Andras? —Moxxie asked—. Was he your father?
—My boyfriend. He died years ago.
—Oh, I'm sorry. —Moxxie continued—.
—Me too. —Stella replied—.
—It must have been difficult.
—More than you think.
—What happened?
—He was killed by Paimon, Stolas' father. —She said in a cold and cruel tone, you could feel his anger and pain in every word—.
—Oh, crumbs—.
—Stella didn't understand Moxxie's idiom, but she understood his intention—. Andras was planning to steal something from Asmodeus, Paimon, who was already suspicious of him, caught him and killed him. He also knew about us, so after killing him he visited me in the night with a feather dipped in Andras' blood. And since he couldn't kill me, he had his way with me.
Moxxie was stunned into silence, stupefied by what he was hearing.
—Oh crumbs... —His voice trembled—.
After a long silence he continued.
—Wait... He couldn't kill you?
—They had arranged my marriage to Stolas.
—I think I understand. They had arranged for you to marry someone you don't love. And kill the one who you did love.
—Exactly.
—Does Stolas know about this? —Moxxie asked—.
—About what happened to me? He doesn't know.
—Maybe it's a good idea for him to know. —Moxxie continued—.
—For what? A fake excuse of an apology?
—So that he may know the truth.
—The truth? —Stella felt a lump in her throat—. He can't handle the truth.
—Just tell him your side of the story, let him know what you went through and why it hurts so much. It will give him a chance to understand you better. —Moxxie was trying too hard to convince her—. I'll go with you if you need me to.
—Thank you, but no.
—You might as well apologise for the lies you published in the paper too. You know, wipe the slate clean.
—That was no lie.
—I don't believe it.
—Octavia drugged Stolas. I managed to buy the same balm she used. Weren't you surprised it was all so sudden? I can show you.
Moxxie could not believe her words.
—What? How? Why? —Moxxie couldn't swallow what he was hearing, was it really the truth? —.
—I have no idea. I hate Stolas, yes. But I also know what it's like to be forced to love someone you don't love. Not like that. You could say I felt bad for him for the first time.
—Now more than ever then we must talk to him! —Moxxie had panicked—.
—No, I decided to leave all that in the past. They can learn their lesson on their own.
—But... Stolas must know.
—And what do you think will happen then? Think about it for a second.
Moxxie was thinking about it for what it felt like hours, he had realised that he must now keep the secret. Telling Stolas all the truth might be too dangerous now, despite the best of intentions, it was clearly a terrible idea. But Moxxie also believed that the truth was a necessary evil. What should Moxxie do? Besides, because of his curiosity he was now too involved in all this. Who knows what Stella would do with him if he ratted out Octavia? Normally his morale would win this fight; but the feeling he had for Stella wouldn't let him see beyond that. Now more than ever he felt cornered. Speak up and lose Stella or keep quiet and let it all run its course. His feelings for Stella were growing by the minute for no apparent reason, was it pity? Or something else, fear?
Stella was somewhat sad and upset at how the conversation had gone. She wanted to spend some quality time with Moxxie, but she was once again uncovering herself like a sieve, letting out every detail of her life. As if desperately looking for someone to talk to about what she had always held back, looking for someone willing to listen to her. She was sure she wanted to make it up to Moxxie.
—Forgive me Moxxie, I didn't mean to drag you into all this. I don't know why, but with you I feel different, like I can say everything I can't say to anyone.
Stella kept talking and talking. Moxxie listened patiently, there was something between the two of them that all the words in the world couldn't describe at the moment.
—It's all right, Stella, you played your cards as best you could. I promise to be there when you need someone to talk to.
—Will you go out with me? —Stella asked excitedly—.
—I didn't mean .... I guess as friends?
—Of course, as friends, that's fine.
—With pleasure.
Second chances are rare in life, but they always come, maybe this was Stella's chance. Could she let bygones be bygones and concentrate on the future? She hoped with all her might that she could.
Moxxie on the other hand wondered what he was doing and why he was making such promises.
But from that moment on it was decided. They would see each other again.
Stella then turned to look Moxxie in the eyes and squatted down so she could face him. Moxxie felt as if at any moment Stella would try to kiss him, his heart racing all over. But Stella, even if she wanted to, knew she couldn't; she couldn't barge into their marriage the way Stolas had done with Blitzo. Her face simply flushed completely red as she remained static in that position.
—Everything ok? —Moxxie asked—.
Stella swallowed hard.
—Why are you so nice to me?
—I don't know, I guess there's also something about you that makes me let my guard down. Besides, I like to think the best of people before jumping to conclusions.
—Has it ever worked for you?
—Sometimes.
—Was it worth it with me?
—Yes.
Stella stared into his big, yellow eyes. His little mouth. She was charmed by such an adorable creature and admired his courage. She really saw something special in him.
Finally, after a hard internal debate, he took Moxxie by the shoulders and kissed him.