The sun was resting at its highest point towards the I.M.P. offices, the unbearable heat overwhelmed the establishment that had been lying empty for a while, the rays of light could be seen illuminating a calendar on the wall with the picture of an imp whose face was covered by a pen drawing of Blitzo taped with adhesive. The dates were all scratched off and it was impossible to read what once functioned as a schedule. It looked as if someone had cancelled all his plans as the rage of the lines went more beyond the days already passed. All the scratches ended before a date, however, which was marked with a big circle.
Suddenly a mysterious breeze began to blow; shaking the pages of this improvised calendar, at the same time as a portal was formed in the middle of the room; which when completed was crossed by the 4 main protagonists of this chapter.
—Well, one more mission successfully completed. —Blitzo cheered as he crossed the portal with an almost cartoonish walk, stretching his legs to the limit with each step—.
—No thanks to you sir, I didn't see you during the whole operation because you chose to be distracted by the target's horses. —Moxxie stressed in annoyance as he helped his wife jump across—.
—Come on Moxx, it's not Blitz's fault the old man had a farm. —Millie reassured him—.
—E-I-E-I-O! Millie. You know, Moxxie, you should learn something from your wife. —Blitzo shielded himself with Millie's support, with his typical mocking face—.
—You could have helped more, but you're too fat to run. —Loona added salt to the wound—.
The portal closed once everyone had passed through, stopping the wind that had been blowing since its appearance and returning everything to calm.
—Am I the only voice of reason in this office? —Moxxie defended himself as he walked to the water dispenser, already sweating from the heat of the office—. And what the fuck is this heat?!
—It's the fat... —Loona replied as she returned to her desk—.
Blitzo approached Moxxie and leaned his arm on his shoulder in a buddy hug, stealing Moxxie's glass of water in the process and drinking from it. Moxxie turned to look at him offended by the audacity of his rude act.
—Yeah, don't worry Moxxie, when your opinion counts for something, I'll agree with you.
Blitzo left the office without further ado, leaving everyone a bit puzzled, but due to Blitzo's emotional instability since the news -and his clear relapse by going to the beach to spy on Stolas, everyone had opted to give him his space.
—I hope the boss is well. —Millie exclaimed—.
—He'll be fine. —Moxxie comforted her—.
Blitzo, on the other hand, was on his way to a bar near the building; with the intent of drowning his sorrows with booze.
The bar looked sleazy from the outside, a drunken man lying on the floor at the side of the entrance, and neon colours that would disturb anyone's eyes with their bright garish colours. A dog pissing in the corner of the building and occasionally sickly drunk people coming out of the doors with such a disorientated walk that their only viable destination was the floor.
But inside was a more pleasant scene, a long bar filled with all kinds of liquors, from beers to rum, whisky and absinthe. On the tables there were glasses and mugs being poured. And because there were not many people, the atmosphere was bohemian; subdued and peaceful. On a screen hanging on the wall, to which the bartender's back was turned, television commercials for various products and services were playing, while at the bottom of the screen was an announcement of that day's planned programming. The atmosphere was dark, the lighting almost funereal, as the dense accumulated cigarette smoke was almost completely obscuring the lights on the ceiling.
The bartender was a fat, good-natured imp, who could be seen chuspily attending to the customers, who between laughter, jokes and verses deliberated their sorrows and their joys in an incessant competition to see who had suffered the most, who had lived the most, and who had loved the most.
As Blitzo passed through the front door, everyone raised their glasses and their mugs, their beers and their cigars, saluting the newcomer. Blitzo just raised his hand in return and sat down at the bar, waving to the bartender.
—The usual, Blitz? —The bartender approached him—.
Up close you could see that he wasn't just chubby, he had a warm, friendly face; like the fun grandfather you always want to visit because he gives you grandma's biscuits behind your parents' back. A red-skinned saint, with a tenor voice that could take you back in time to the old eras of the operas and games. He finished his bearing with his black apron full of stains and dampness; while eternally wiping a crystal glass with a rag over and over again, making it look like he would never stop. Before Blitzo sat down, he had already pulled out a cup holder which he made slip to where the next bench was; inviting him to take that specific place.
—The same as always please but make it a double.
—Again?
The good-natured man's face changed faintly to concern, as if Blitzo was family; seeing him in the state he was in, brought him pain. But business is business, as they talked, he had to work. He immediately grabbed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of rum, mixing a nondescript concoction that gave off a woody charcoal aroma.
—It's almost that time. —Blitzo replied—.
—Still going at it? —asked a hellhound sitting next to him—.
A Danish dog, with a tired look, ash-coloured skin and eyes drooping, but strong arms and a broad body; he drank tequila as if it were water while staring blankly at the television. His hoarse, alcohol-burnt voice gave the appearance of a serious, life-weary veteran.
—I suppose I am. —Blitzo replied—.
—There's a long way from words to actions. —The drinking companion replied—.
—Thank you for the wisdom, Confucius.
—Anytime.
—So, what happens now? —The bartender asked again—.
Blitzo stared at the drink he had ordered, embracing it with his full palm as he swirled the liquid in the glass.
—If you go on like that it's going to get hot. —grumbled the bartender—.
—He went on a date with her. And I decided to spy on them to see how their relationship was going. But they ended up discovering me and I'm sure that he hates me now.
—And don't you think that's enough of a sign that you should let him live his life and you should live yours? —asked a third character—.
It was a female voice that Blitzo recognised perhaps all too well.
—Verosika?! Y.... you, what the fuck are you doing here?
Verosika Mayday, her ex-girlfriend. A succubus from the lust floor, she could usually be found in the bar of Ozzie's or giving some musical show. Sometimes also in the human world by stealing energy from unwary lustful humans.
Long-legged in tight black stockings, a white and black shirt, and a coat made from Mink fur. Verosika was someone hard not to notice when she was in the room; but Blitzo had become so used to her that to him she was just someone else.
—What? Can't a woman go to a bar? I was already jaded by Asmodeus. Besides, your talk won't let me watch TV.
At that moment Blitzo turned to look at the screen, a human film was playing, "10 things I hate about you". A typical American student love movie.
It used to be our movie; I remember when you sang the song for me. —Verosika said wistfully looking at the screen—.
—How many drinks have you had to remember our relationship like that?
—Enough. And who is this love that hurts you like you hurt me? Is that Stolas, who you were with that night at Ozzie's?
—One. Not your business. Two. Blackmail doesn't work with me babe.
—It's not blackmailed, I want to see if I can exploit your grief to make it even worse.
—Come on, come on, gentlemen, miss. —We come here to drown our sorrows in alcohol, not each other, don't we? Tell us Blitz, what happened on the beach?
—He seems to have completely forgotten about me, he hardly speaks to me anymore and only spends time with his daughter.
—Oh, I remember reading something like that in the newspaper. Said the Danish— So it's true?
—Yeah, they're getting married. Apparently, he wants quality time with his daughter and shit. —Blitzo grumbled—.
—But if you were dating him. How did all that happen?
—We weren't dating. We had a deal where I kept him "company" in return for something else.
—Blitzo the succubus? That's a surprise to me. —Verosika scoffed—.
—So, it's more like you fell in love. He was just taking advantage of you. Don't you think that puts you in a better position now that you don't have keep that deal?
—I came here to drink, not to get therapy. —Blitzo was annoyed—.
—And yet you haven't had a single drink. —Said the bartender in a more serene tone—.
And as if insulted by the bartender's words, he took his drink and downed it in one gulp. Afterwards, he made grimaces and gestured for him to pour him another.
—That's your problem Blitzo, no one can meddle in your life. And when you bring someone into yours, you go out of your way to make their stay undesirable. —Verosika sounds annoyed and melancholic—.
Verosika knew it wasn't always like that, she knew there was a time when their relationship worked, and they were a good couple; but it was true that Blitzo's personality would sooner or later be the catharsis of the problems in that relationship. Stealing Verosika's card and car to go and have horse-riding lessons. In old photos you could find the two of them really happy in each other's company, at a party or having some alone time, which was in itself surprising given Verosika's nature, being a succubus, she spent quality time with more than one man, and yet they could trust each other. Needless to say, despite their natures; the union of the two was indeed promising, but in the end Blitzo's had more weight, and ended up tipping the balance.
Blitzo's selfishness and his need to see only for himself was the thorn in the side of his life; overcoming even his good side, the one that truly loved others, the one that truly cares for his friends, the good Blitzo that many came to see and truly miss, but is lost and engulfed in the darkness of the Blitz that now supplanted him.
And that was Blitzo, the part of himself that he wanted to destroy, his past. And that was Blitz; his present and his future -what he wanted to become and what he wanted to achieve by suppressing his old persona. Thinking that with anger and with contempt he could suppress everything he once was and what he once did, with a new personality that would protect him from anyone who would try to take advantage of him again.
Until Stolas came back into his life, he, the only one who genuinely wanted to be his friend, who wanted to learn from him and know what friendship was. The remorse of what he had done to him as a child was the trigger that made him return to his old self when he returned by Stolas' side, but he was now losing him, he had to face the reality that he had not yet fulfilled his goal; he was once again fragile. The one who would become the love of his life had left him vulnerable again and he could not bear it.
And that was actually the hatred he felt in his heart; it was not towards Stolas or Octavia, nor Verosika or anyone else. It was against himself, he could not accept that there was still a part of him that longed for what used to be, that longed to see the light of day again. His hope.
Blitzo took his second drink in one gulp and asked for more.
—I'm not taking sides, but.... The lady and the gentleman are right. Perhaps the problem needs to be re-evaluated from "another perspective". —Said the bartender.
—I won't have a choice. The girl turns 18 in a week.
—And for the wedding? —added the Dane—.
—I have no idea.
Blitzo took the last drink just like the first two and got up. Paying his bill on the spot.
—Just don't run away from your problems as usual Blitzo. Though I doubt you have the courage to face them. —Verosika added—.
—You know, Verosika, don't make me list 10 things I hate about you.
Blitzo left the bar and returned to the office. Everyone was still there; Moxxie and Millie checking their guns and Loona taking down client information on the computer.
Blitzo went straight to the calendar, removing it from the wall with force and throwing it into the trash.
—Sir, are you all-right? —Millie asked—.
—Never better Mills.
—Sir, are you getting drunk again? —Moxxie asked in annoyance, fanning his nose with his hand due to Blitzo's alcoholic breath—. We still have a job to do and I'm not going to do all the work again.
Blitzo had been annoyed by a lecture in the bar and now was receiving another one at work.
—Stop meddling in everything, that's why no one pays attention to you.
Moxxie was about to explode in anger at Blitzo at that moment.
—If you would have listened to me, what happened on the beach would not have happened and we would still have a functional calendar!
That struck Blitzo to the core of his being, remembering the shame he went through.
"What was I not clear about Blitz? -Stolas commented, annoyed by the situation. I'm trying to have quality time with my daughter after all the problems we've had because of her mother; I can't have you getting involved in this too.
—Stolas, I...
—Stolas nothing, Blitz. I don't want to hear from you until you fix your emotions. You are still special to me Blitzy, but if you continue like this, I will have no choice but to end our friendship. -Stolas was constantly annoyed. You can ruin my day all you want, but not my daughter's. "
Memories of what he caused that day came to his mind like arrows, piercing the depths of his consciousness.
—You know Moxx...
—And while we're at it. —interrupted Moxxie—. Wasn't it just a few days ago that we talked about all this, that we would support Stolas?
Blitzo remembered at that moment what they had talked about in his office, and what he himself had set out to do with his own life. That he would continue to move forward and find his true path, his true happiness. This was beginning to break Blitzo, who was now stunned by Moxxie's assertiveness.
Blitzo was trying to contain his emotions.
—Well, Moxxie...
—Moxx, honey. That's not like you, are you all-right? —interrupted Millie, who feared for the worst—.
—IT'S ALL RIGHT, MILLIE. —Finally, Blitzo burst out—. Moxxie is right here.
Everyone was taken aback by Blitzo's reaction, which seemed to have completely changed the character of his voice.
—Moxxie, what do you say we settle this outside? —Blitzo offered in a cold, serious tone of voice—.
Moxxie could already sense from that moment that it was an invitation to fight. This brought him back to his senses from his tantrum.
—S.... sir, I don't think that's necessary. —Moxxie was starting to distance himself from Blitzo, but he was stopped—.
—Come on, Moxx. If you think you can be a man, let's settle this like men.
—Sir, I don't think that's necessary.
—Oh, I think it's very fucking necessary, Moxxie. —Blitzo interrupted—.
At that moment Blitzo unleashed the first blow, hitting him in the face and knocking Moxxie to the ground. Millie could be heard gasping in surprise as she ran to her husband, helping him up.
—Blitz, sir. Don't do this, both of you. Stop it. —Millie insisted—.
—Move Millie. Moxxie can defend himself, but he is too much of a coward to do so.
Moxxie did not see an alternative and pushed Millie away as he stood up and took a defensive position. Loona grabbed Millie and pulled her away, and with the grimoire still in her hand opened a portal to the parking lot, which Blitzo stepped through and Moxxie followed -and when the portal closed, Millie could only run to the window to watch them from afar.
—Let them settle this themselves. —Loona said to Millie—.
***
—Come on, take the next hit Moxxie. Or are you a pussy?
—I'm not going to fight you, sir.
—I didn't know Millie had married a lesbian.
Blitzo threw another punch at Moxxie, who this time was prepared, blocking it by crossing his arms in front of his face. Blitzo however did not stop there, for the moment his fist impacted against Moxxie's block; he threw it again and again -and his friend simply continued to block.
The sun, which only a moment ago was burning hellishly hot, was now hijacked by gigantic black clouds that obscured the whole place.
Blitzo's insistent blows were slowly breaking Moxxie's poise; he was beginning to lose his balance in the face of the shrapnel of punches, until finally, when he received the last blow, he used his whole body; and with his arms still crossed he charged towards Blitzo, who at the moment of the collision could not avoid falling backwards.
At that moment, as if divinely coordinated; the clouds that were covering the entire sky thundered violently; announcing a heavy rain that was slowly beginning to fall.
—Stop acting like a child, sir.
Blitzo ignored Moxxie's words as he rushed to take another swing at him, which Moxxie avoided by sliding to the side at the last moment, Blitzo almost stumbling from that failed punch. But that didn't stop him, again aiming another punch at Moxxie, which he again avoided.
From Moxxie's point of view, Blitzo was enraged, but the truth was –it was Blitzo's pride and ego who were in charge. But as of now, Blitzo was no longer "there" -fighting with him. Blitzo, although aware of his surroundings, was emotionally in the dark, and the one he was fighting was not Moxxie; but himself.
Blitzo could see a dark representation of himself; like a living, macabre shadow that radiated the gloom of his soul. And Blitzo fought against it tirelessly, every time he tried to hit it an invisible force repelled his blows and mocked him. "I finally got rid of another person who cared about me." "How annoying are the people who judge me and try to give their stupid advice, as if I asked for it." "Who does Moxxie think he is to lecture me, who has always had everything easy because of his pampering wife?" Blitzo listened to the shadow say as he tried to silence it, wanting to shout at it just how wrong it was, but unable to get a single word out.
"I'm the great Blitzo, I don't need anyone to worry about me, you should mind your own business." Continued the shadow chattering as Blitzo could be seen straining to land at least one hit, while his face was covered by a sinister masquerade like that of a mask.
Back in hell, Blitzo and Moxxie continued to fight in the pouring rain. Moxxie kept dodging Blitzo's blows and Blitzo wasn't giving up, the raindrops made it impossible to distinguish between Blitzo's crying and the humidity on their faces.
Back in Blitzo's mind, a similar pattern was beginning to emerge in the shadow's movements; with Moxxie's movements. What was going on in Blitzo's mind was that Moxxie, being the voice of reason that he has never wanted to listen to, in a way represented both Blitzo's internal struggle to accept reality and his true self. And although Moxxie kept asking Blitzo to come to his senses, Blitzo only listened to the surplus reminding him of all his sins, his truth.
"Who do they think they are lecturing me? They think they know what I'm going through, but they don't." "I don't need anyone's help." "How dare they!" The shadow was beginning to deform into an amorphous monster that attacked Blitzo at last.
—ENOUGH! —shouted Moxxie, who was getting more and more tired of the long fight and losing his temper—.
And in the same synchronicity, the shadow and Moxxie, as one superimposed on the other, hit Blitzo in the face again, again, and again –until he fell to the ground. As the blows connected, the mask worn by the imaginary version of Blitzo shattered into pieces, exposing his face.
Blitzo lay on the ground in a puddle of stagnant water, Moxxie who sat on top of him kept punching him on the face, relentlessly.
Little by little Blitzo came to his senses and woke up to the beating he was receiving, when he finally reacted, he was desperately trying to cover his face. When Moxxie realised that little by little he stopped hitting, finally trying to catch his breath.
—You're right Moxxie, I don't like to listen and doing things my way is my style.
—It's a lousy style, sir....
Moxxie slowly got up, and now on his feet he extended his hand to Blitzo to help him get up as well.
—A style that hurts those who love you. —Moxxie continued—.
—You too? —Blitzo replied, wanting to laugh—.
—Sir?
—It's something I hate about all of you.
Blitzo and Moxxie finally gave each other a hug, and Millie who was still watching from the window finally breathed a sigh of relief. Loona opened a portal again for the two of them, who returned to the office leaning on each other, sore from the fight.
—I'll return you to your wife Moxxie, there's something I have to do. —Without giving Moxxie a chance to do anything else, he went back through the portal, back to the parking lot of the building. Even in the rain he took out his mobile phone and dialled Stolas.
—Hello? Stolas. Don't say anything, just listen.
«I hate the way you talk to me and the way you are. I hate your plumage, it's annoying and it kept getting in my mouth all the time, I hate how I came to feel about you. I hate your awful sexual innuendos and that you know me too well. I hate you so much I puke, you disgust me. I hate that you think of me and that you make me laugh. I hate that you make me suffer and I hate that you make me cry. I hate so much that I'm alone and you haven't called yet, but I hate even more that I can't hate you, even though you're so crazy, not even a little bit I have to try. »
Finally, Stolas' voice was heard on the other side of the line.
—I saw that film too, Blitzy. —Stolas' voice was heard—.
Blitzo hung up the phone. «And I haven't finished the movie references yet. » he said to himself as he walked back to the bar.
And as he re-entered, as if dictated by destiny, in the film, and in this instant; Blitzo began to sing.
"I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you".
And Verosika gave it continuity.
"You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you"
And finally, both at the same time.
"I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
Oh, pretty baby
Trust in me when I say..."
Ending the song in a kiss from both of them.
—Do I take this as you wanting a second chance? —Verosika asked in an almost sensual tone—.
—We can make it work.
—Fine, but you'll have to pay me back for what you spent and for that night in the hotel. —With one hand he caressed Blitzo's face playfully—.
—Don't push it, woman.
This was perhaps the second chance Blitzo had wanted to give himself all along, to pursue love again. But Rome was not built in a day and Blitzo would not change his ways overnight. But he was on the right track, finally coming to terms with who he was and what he is, slowly understanding and acknowledging that they were both him.
But you don't ask a child learning to walk not to fall, or to learn to run. The challenge now was to see if they were both willing to face that reality, to stumble again, to keep falling and getting back up again. Only time would tell if Blitzo was truly committed to change and improve; and if Verosika was willing to forgive, to sweat it out again in order to return to the happiness that had brought her down in the first place.
But while we were wrapped up in the sweet scene that had just happened, it was true that the spectators didn't know half the truth. They just stood there watching two crazy people singing and kissing in the middle of the bar.
—If you want, I'll call you a taxi to the nearest hotel or... —The bartender offered—.
Blitzo and Verosika laughed. And taking the offer, they retired for the rest of the day.
***
At the I.M.P. offices, Millie looked after Moxxie and helped him dry off -later Loona would take them home in Blitzo's van.
***
At Goetia Manor, Stolas laughed at Blitzo's call; somehow, he understood that his message was one of affection and not so much contempt. They had been through so much together that to blame him for feeling the way he did was foolish and immature in this demon's eyes.
A part of Stolas, however, still felt some remorse for what he felt he had put him through. He had gradually discovered that Blitzo did love him, but their constant clashes and misunderstandings had hindered the relationship to a point that for Stolas, was irreparable -and now with his daughter becoming his future wife there was no way back.
***
On the way home Millie and Moxxie, along with Loona, talked about Blitzo too, how much they had been through because of him. Loona talked about how they met and the day of the adoption, how hard Blitzo tried to do right by her and how it surprised her to see him like that. Moxxie and Millie could only listen to the story in silence as Loona's nostalgia guided the mood of the conversation.
***
Meanwhile Blitzo and Verosika settled their differences in their room, listening to Blitzo talk endlessly about horses, and how much he loved his own. He would tell her of the horses his recent victim had, and even of Striker's horse that he was lucky enough to meet at the harvest of the blood moon. Verosika would hate to admit that she missed that, and that it was in some ways what she enjoyed most about when they went out the first time.
***
Sometimes we don't realise how we impact the lives of others and how our actions, no matter how much we justify them, affect everyone around us. We don't realise that in our quest to hide who we are; as we are ashamed of our past, we end up hiding what makes us special. And deep down in hell there was one more person who was about to realise this, who for years hid her image and her passion, all to fulfil a greater mission, which despite being forcibly imposed, she carried out. Despite what it meant, despite what she lived through because of it, and despite what she lived through; she went on to the end.
She hid her old self for the sake of her family, adapted a new personality for the sake of revenge, and all to perfection until the charade was over and she could return to her normal life. But now her conflict was just beginning, and she had to remember what her old self was like.
Luckily, Lucifer put the right person in her path; it was only a matter of time before the road of redemption would finally begin and give way to a new tomorrow. And just as her old life ended, so would her new life begin.
But what would depend on her was her willingness to make this change, this new beginning and this new adventure. She would have to swallow her pride and find her place again, only in this way could she achieve the forgiveness she so richly deserved. Her own.
But, as easy as it sounds, it is just as difficult; her change would also take time, and she had to be consistent and dedicated if she was to achieve the success she seeks. She will also learn that it is a path she should not take alone; for that is exactly what got her to where she was in the first place.
Stella still had a lot to learn, but for the moment she had to wait. Her time to shine, was near.