I was expecting impact, but instead I was caught by muscular arms," open your eyes and look at me, you are not who they say you are, fight for your life". That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about me, I opened my eyes to stare into the most piercing blue eyes.
Time seemed to come to a halt, as I drowned in that handsome chiseled face that held me, I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. With one last tug I was over the roof and in his arms the shock was too much then and the days events overwhelmed me and everything went black, I sank into the blackness welcoming it and hoping I did never have to wake from it.
I woke up to an unfamiliar bed it looked masculine with a deep shade of white and mahogany everything was in order, it looked like a typical male room my feet touched the floor and was greeted with the softest Persian rug with a huge golden brown lion staring at me. I saw a well stocked library and decided to take a look when a deep husky voice stopped me.
" Your awake, it's rude to snoop around other peoples stuff how are you feeling?, If your feeling better I think you should probably go"?
I jumped a mile high startled to be caught snooping, the time of his voice was very different from when he helped me on the roof, now he sounded cold and impersonal.
Ouch, am so sorry yes I feel better I said turning around to face my blue-eyed angel with his well muscular chest my heart dropped jumped to my mouth thudding hard,that was when I realized I have just fallen for max the heart throb of all the female students, captain of basket ball team eagles, I knew I was doomed. My stupid heart fluttered, he had not only saved my heart but he was everything I would want in a man. If I could have this man with the wonderful voice that has saved my life, I would gladly die happy.
The thing is after that event, of course he never took notice of me. I might as well have been a man for all the attention he afforded me. His chiseled jaw was tense as if me being their was a disturbance it probably was, his phone had been ringing insistently since I woke up and he made no move to pick it, unable to ignore it, I breathed out afraid he would snap at me , your phone is ringing." It's my girlfriend", he answered his voice surprisingly soft, she's probably wondering where I disappeared to with you.
"Are you ready.", Yes I answered without hesitation, he drove me home. After that it seemed Max didn't want anything at all to do with me, I wonder what caused such a behavior but that was it he stayed as far away from me as possible, it was like I didn't exist he didn't even glance in my direction at school but again deep down I was glad. Everyone kept away because I was now kind of under Max's protection, thankfully , I gradually faded into oblivion.I wished the feelings I had developed for Max would do the same, but it didn't, I could literally feel my heart break when Max asked Pamela to be his girlfriend after he apparently broke up with his last girlfriend. People said looks doesn't matter, it was the heart that mattered but I didn't think Pamela had such a good heart and yet hot sexy Pamela tall beautiful, blond hair, blue eye with a body to die for and the perfect tan but to crown it all she was the head of the cheer leading team (three stars), flexible, I knew would never stand a chance and she had the man i was in love with.
I wore dark colors to hide from people
it made me feel invisible and that was what I wanted. To Max was just the girl he never noticed in fact it was a totally one-sided crush I couldn't seem to get over, I watched them become the best and the power couple in the school, my heart clenched when I saw them together or kissing, but it was inevitable. The events that led to us meeting on such close range died a natural death, it was like an anathema that no one mentioned or wanted to remember, and I was grateful for that, whenever I thought about it, my brush with death, it made me break into a cold sweat.
The thing about wanting to kill yourself is that we are not really sure what the other side holds, because no one who crosses over ever comes back to tell the story and for all we know it may be worse over there, it was and would always be an unknown mystery, while i was standing at that precipse the emotion I felt most was not relief but fear, I had been scared shitless , I realized I wanted to live but that choice was almost taken from me.
That of course made me have a rethink and I began to value my life more, it may not have been perfect but at least I heard something most people could not have. Max gave me hope and me liking him gave me a new zeal of life that maybe one day I would have him and that helped me forge ahead and try to make myself better.
I quit eating too much but I found out something, no matter how much you starved , it doesn't cause you to lose weight. The gym was off limits for me, I couldn't imagine myself working out in front of so many people, I was just too timid for that but sometimes I attempted to jog, but I have up because there was no visible effects on all my attempt. Honestly my life was a joke, the only place I seemed to lose weight was my face which didn't do anything for me.
I hoped and prayed for a miracle even though I was glad nobody bullied me or disturbed me. My lunch i usually snuck it to the library and eat there while using my book as shield the librarian may or may not have known about it but she didn't disturb me. Thankfully the news of my attempted suicide was completely buried by the school, because being an exclusive college for the rich they couldn't afford negative publications.