The days that followed Zhang Xian's confession passed in a haze. Li An had done her best to continue with her life, to appear normal in front of the people around her, but nothing felt the same. The weight of his words haunted her every waking moment.
She had agreed to give him time, to process everything, but it wasn't that simple. Every time she saw him, every time their eyes met, she couldn't shake the sense of unease, the knowledge that she was no longer looking at the man she had thought she knew.
Zhang Xian had tried, in his own way, to make things right. He had given her space, been patient, and yet she couldn't stop herself from asking: Was he being genuine? Or was this just a desperate attempt to undo the damage he had done?
One evening, Li An found herself standing in front of her mirror, staring at her reflection as though looking for the answers in her own eyes. The woman who stared back at her seemed like a stranger. The weight of everything—the lies, the secrets, the unknowns—was written on her face.
"How did we get here?" she whispered to herself.
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Her heart skipped a beat as she walked over, knowing instinctively who it was before she even opened it.
Zhang Xian stood in the doorway, his face calm, but there was an undeniable tension in his posture. He had been trying to reach her, and she knew he wouldn't give up.
"Li An," he began, his voice soft but firm. "I need to talk to you. It's about the organization. Things are moving faster than I anticipated. I can't protect you from everything."
Li An's heart sank. The words she had been dreading to hear were finally here.
"I've been trying to keep you safe," Zhang Xian continued, stepping into the room. "But it's getting more dangerous. There are people watching us, people who won't stop until they get what they want. And I—"
He stopped, his eyes scanning her face. "I need to know if you're ready to trust me again, Li An. Because I can't keep you in the dark forever. You need to know everything, or I won't be able to protect you. Not the way I should."
Li An felt a surge of conflicting emotions. Her first instinct was to pull away, to tell him to leave, to stop dragging her deeper into this dangerous world. But another part of her, the part that still cared for him despite everything, wanted to listen, to understand. She had been living in a state of uncertainty for far too long.
"I don't know if I can trust you," she said, her voice quiet but resolute. "How do you expect me to trust you after everything? After all the lies?"
Zhang Xian's expression softened, but there was a shadow in his eyes. "I know. I know I've lost your trust, and I don't expect you to forgive me right away. But I need you to understand something. I'm not just doing this for myself. I'm doing it for us. Everything I've done, everything I've kept from you, has been to protect you."
Li An shook her head, her chest tightening with frustration. "I don't want your protection if it means living a life of lies. I need the truth, Zhang Xian. I need to know everything—no more secrets."
He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was more cautious. "It's not just about the organization. It's about me, Li An. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt you in ways I can't undo, but I need you to understand that none of this was planned. None of it was what I wanted. I never intended for you to get caught up in all of this."
Li An felt a sharp pang of empathy, but it was quickly overwhelmed by the ache of betrayal. "Then what was it all for? If you really cared about me, why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Zhang Xian took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers. "I thought I was protecting you. I thought if I kept you out of it, you wouldn't have to face the danger that I'm in. But now, I see I've made a terrible mistake. You're already in this, whether I want you to be or not. And I need to know if you're willing to fight with me, if you're willing to face this together."
Li An looked at him, her mind a swirling mess of thoughts. He had betrayed her, but there was no denying the intensity of his feelings. There was no denying the love that he had shown her, no matter how twisted it had become.
"I don't know," she said honestly, her voice trembling slightly. "I don't know if I can forgive you. But I'm not going to turn my back on you. Not yet. We need to figure this out together, but I can't make any promises."
Zhang Xian nodded, his face solemn. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away. But I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I can be trusted. That we can be together again, no matter what it takes."
Li An looked away, her heart torn between what she knew to be right and what she still felt for him. "I need time, Zhang Xian. Time to think. To figure out what I really want."
There was a brief silence between them before Zhang Xian spoke again. "I'll give you as much time as you need. But just know this: I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to let you face this alone."
As he left, Li An stood in the doorway, her heart heavy. The room felt emptier now, as though a part of her had already left with him. She couldn't deny the feelings that still lingered, but she also couldn't ignore the truth—the truth that no matter what path she chose, everything would change.