Like everyone else, I guess I died.
Chao Zhenyu sullenly stared into the void surrounding him. There was nothing there, not even specks of dust or hints of light, only a seemingly inescapable depth he could not escape from. Nor were there any ripples or movements within the darkness- it was as if he was in a world long gone cold. There was only his belief in his own consciousness, and the silence that followed.
With a slight tremor, Chao Zhenyu sighed, or at least it felt like he did so. In this void, he couldn't even see himself, much less hear his own breath. In fact, he still wasn't sure if he was actually staring into the void, or if he was simply conscious in a dead body, staring into the back of his permanently closed eyelids.
Well, what difference did it make?
Yet it was still unbearably painful. In this unending boredom, he could only go through again and again the last bits of his memory- his death.
How unfortunate, to not have been spared a natural ending.
His throat had been cut; the disgusting scent of iron seeped into the thick air. His tired, heavy body had long gone limp against jagged rocks, twitching fingers the only indication he was still barely alive. His eyes had dimmed, and although he made out a faint, foggy silhouette, he could no longer recollect who they belonged to, or if he knew them at all.
He seemed to have tried to say something to them, perhaps begging for life or final words dripping with sarcasm, but in the end, all that came out were defeated gargles of blood. And as his eyes began to close for good, he heard the softening sound of footsteps leaving him.
From beginning until the end, that silhouette had ignored him.
He had died alone.
That same, bare agony once again enveloped Chao Zhenyu. Despite having an eternity to think, he couldn't seem to remember who he was, much less process what exactly he had done. Whenever he tried, blurry memories floated past him, each one unrecognizable, yet painfully familiar.
What kind of person was I? What exactly… had happened…?
He seemed to hear those he once knew mock him, as if they knew all along that this would be his fate.
"… Do you see yourself now?"
"No body to bury, no tears to cry."
"This is what you deserve…"
He covered his ears, but it was futile. No matter how hard he tried, how many times he repeated those instinctive motions, the sounds echoed again and again in his mind. Chao Zhenyu bitterly "looked" down at where his feet once were. There was nothing there. Not even a trace of a shadow.
Chao Zhenyu's heart leapt, and he quickly stepped back. He glanced at the emptiness around him, but the depth didn't seem to change. It was as if he hadn't moved at all. His breath began to fasten, as a deep-set despair took hold of him. The void surrounded him, taunted him, and consumed his very soul.
He was alone. Even after death, he was alone.
He couldn't… He couldn't do this-
He needed to get out!
Chao Zhenyu reached out towards the darkness ahead…
…
"Young master!"
Chao Zhenyu gasped, and immediately coughed on the heavy scent of perfume. A young, bewildered servant appeared before his eyes, and behind him lay an expansive luxurious room. Blatantly decorated with gold and jewels in every corner, from the edges of his bed frame to gold threading on fur rugs, Chao Zhenyu was practically blinded.
He blinked, but the glamor persisted.
This wasn't a dream… was it?
The opulence, the excess, was the complete opposite of the nothingness he was used to. Chao Zhenyu parted his lips, yet could not utter a word.
Had he actually… gone back? Was this "his" world?
…Fuck. His head was now beginning to throb in pain.
Hands tightly gripping the bedsheets, Chao Zhenyu finally remembered there was someone else in the room. Groaning, he rubbed his temples, before narrowing his eyes in an attempt to focus on the boy in front of him.
It seemed that just now, the servant had parted the translucent curtain over the bed frame. Beaded pearls dangled gently above his head. The moment Chao Zhenyu met eyes with him, the servant immediately stepped back, until all Chao Zhenyu could see was his kneeling silhouette behind the glistening silk.
"Young master, please forgive me!"
When Chao Zhenyu failed to respond in time, panic arose in the servant.
"Y-Young master, please, I didn't mean to- I never saw anything at all! I-"
"Wait," Chao Zhenyu interrupted, patience wearing thin. "What're you talking about?"
The servant paused. As if realizing something, Chao Zhenyu slowly turned to look at himself. There he sat, loose robe lazily exposing his chest. And there, all over his pale skin, were different colored lipstick stains.
This- What…
It was then that he noticed small glass bottles haphazardly tossed onto the floor. Within, there were still visible drops of alcohol, or something much worse.
Face rapidly darkening, Chao Zhenyu released his hand from the bedsheets. Whether or not those were dirty, he didn't want to think about it. Gagging, he hastily made his way off the bed, and rushed towards the nearest opening- the bathroom.
"Ah-"
"Young master!!"
Panting over the toilet, Chao Zhenyu emptied out everything from his stomach. Head still pounding in pain, he momentarily wished he'd return to that stupid void. The intensity of the sparkling jewelry, the lights above, the night before… Everything was simply overwhelming, and yet he knew nothing.
Still… I can't afford to make any more mistakes.
Trembling, Chao Zhenyu took a deep breath, and did his best to compose himself.
"Go change my bedsheets," he whispered, as the servant rushed to his side. "I'm going to take a shower."
With a "Yes, sir!", the servant immediately left to fulfill his duties. The moment he heard the door shut, Chao Zhenyu closed his eyes and exhaled, before scrambling to the shower. Turning the faucet on, he finally relaxed into the cold water, thoroughly washing his face. It was a much needed relief.
But still…
Beads of water ran down Chao Zhenyu's face, as he turned his attention towards his body. He instantly frowned.
Just as he thought, it wasn't only his chest. Numerous other lipstick stains and strange marks were peppered around, covering his stomach, legs, and inner thighs. Taking deep breaths in and out, Chao Zhenyu struggled to maintain his composure. He felt bile once again rise in his throat, and an uncomfortable queasiness enveloped him. Gradually, he began scrubbing off each disgusting blemish.
He wasn't sure why he was reacting so intensely. It didn't seem to be a foreign concept, interestingly enough. The idea of bodies on top of bodies, that is. Instead, it was as if there was something else to this, an unsettling feeling he couldn't shake off.
The feeling something had happened to "his" own body, in "his" own room.
And he couldn't even remember.
Like outstretched hands sinking deep into his flesh.
As he stepped out, he glanced by the foggy mirror. Wiping it clear, Chao Zhenyu finally took a good look at his new self. He tilted his head.
I'm… unexpectedly handsome.
The first detail he noticed were his deep purple eyes, and long eyelashes. They gave his face a touch of delicacy. Combined with a sharp chin and thin, angled eyebrows, he had an air of condescending disinterest. And when he smiled…
The corners of Chao Zhenyu's lips slightly rose.
…Fervid cruelty.
He was tall, too, with a thin waist and decently built torso. For vanity's sake, Chao Zhenyu was satisfied. But still… if there was one problem…
He was too young. Most likely coming of age at best. Much too young to hold any real power. If he were to stay afloat, or better yet, seek the answers he needed, he still had a long way to go.
When Chao Zhenyu finally finished, the servant had already cleaned up his room, save for the bottles. Those were currently being stacked on his bedside table. Chao Zhenyu lifted an eyebrow. He wasn't sure if the servant thought he cared about those empty things, but regardless, saving them and studying the liquid inside could prove useful later on.
Just as the servant placed down the last bottle, Chao Zhenyu grabbed his wrist. Before the servant could even open his mouth, Chao Zhenyu spoke.
"Where were you last night?"
The servant paused. Tightening his grip, Chao Zhenyu felt the servant subconsciously twitch.
"I-Young master," The servant began. "I was j-just where I am usually-"
Chao Zhenyu narrowed his eyes. He didn't expect me to question him. Were the two of us on that level of trust… or was "I" not the type of person to do so?
"Doing what?"
The servant quickly paused and carefully perused Chao Zhenyu's expression.
"Answering young master, I was relieved of my duties earlier last night to take care of…"
The servant quickly paused and carefully perused Chao Zhenyu's expression.
"...my family."
When Chao Zhenyu didn't relent, the servant nervously swallowed. Still, he maintained eye contact, and after a while, Chao Zhenyu finally released him.
It doesn't seem like he's lying. And for him to dare even imply he neglected his duties for personal affairs, it seems like the past "me" knew of it and allowed him to do so.
In a hurry, the servant rushed towards the door, afraid of angering him further.
"Wait!" Chao Zhenyu interjected, stopping him. "One last question."
He needed to confirm something.
"In this household, do you know where your loyalty lies?"
"...With you, young master," The servant tremblingly replied.
Something important.
"My name," Chao Zhenyu stated, slowly enunciating each word. "Say. My. Name."
The servant bowed his head until he couldn't go any lower.
"F-Forgive me for my impudence, young master. My loyalty will always lie first and foremost with you... Zain Valefor."
A different name.
Chao Zhenyu sighed, and gestured for the servant to leave. When the door finally closed shut, he rolled his eyes, and slumped against the bed. In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of one of those glass bottles. With nothing better to do, he took it in his hand, playing with it in between his fingers. Drops of shimmering pink liquid swished inside. And now that he was finally alone, he could take the time to think.
Zain Valefor.
Chao Zhenyu scoffed. He didn't know much about this world, but one thing was for sure: that name practically screamed "evil", or at least an unimaginative writer's interpretation of it. And… with what he knew now, his circumstances weren't looking too good.
There were so many questions, he didn't even know where to start. First, where did he come from and how? Why was he given this new chance, if it was one at all? And why in this body?
"Zain Valefor."
Chao Zhenyu tasted the name on his tongue. It was… strangely familiar. As if he wasn't completely opposed to being him. But being opposed or not didn't matter, when he was forced to regardless.
If this was who I am… Chao Zhenyu stared at his reflection through the bottle.
…Forget it, let's just go through what I know right now.
He was a "young master". Probably a spoiled one at that, given all of the gold in his room. Coming from a practical chasm of destitution, the constant glitter left a sour taste in Chao Zhenyu's mouth. He was almost jealous of this past body, surrounded by seemingly endless wealth and beauties galore.
Indeed, was what happened last night worth looking into at all?
After all, it could very well be of "my" own doing.
Chao Zhenyu's mouth twitched, before he let out a short huff. Whatever.
Speaking of the servant…
He was probably the most interesting piece yet. Unless he was new, it seemed like he was unused to his seemingly frivolous nature. That was the first point of suspicion. There were multiple times he seemed to care about him, but some actions crossed what was normal. That was the second point. And third…
Chao Zhenyu reminisced on the timidity in the servant's round eyes.
Inconsistency. That was the third and most important point.
Perhaps he was overthinking. Perhaps the servant really was what he appeared to be, a naive boy caught in a trying situation, forced to serve a relentless master. Or perhaps each and every move he made served an underlying purpose.
Chao Zhenyu placed down the bottle. Bearing a languid expression, he eased into the mattress once more. The painful, drilling sensation in his temples made it difficult for him to think further.
I'll deal with this later… after a short break.
He made himself comfortable against the downy pillow.
One step at a time…
He closed his eyes.
I'll play their game.