"Eh!? Isn't the young master sick? How could you let him go outside?"
"I know! Alice, what should I do? If he gets worse I…"
"You didn't offer him a coat? Or… Tual, you…"
"...I forgot…"
The distant sound of servants whispering filled Chao Zhenyu's ears.
Unbeknownst to them, Chao Zhenyu rubbed his eyes, groggily standing outside his bedroom. He had a mist of perspiration on his neck and brow from last night's dream– or rather, nightmare. First it was the endless music, tune after tune drilling into his brain, and then it was his body, unmoving no matter how much he willed it. The moment he woke up, he couldn't stand staying in his room.
He was dressed, albeit somewhat sloppily. He had once again thrown on whatever seemed easiest to wear. Messy bangs covered his forehead.
Ignoring the dull throbbing in his head, Chao Zhenyu decided to think through his next steps. He played with the hem of his shirt, feeling the luxuriously smooth velvet.
First, there existed a "Lord of Darkness". Whether this was the Lord of Darkness, one of the lords presiding, or an old long-demolished tradition, Chao Zhenyu wasn't sure yet. He only knew his family served them, or at least this faction. When he first read the carnage on the signs, his eyebrows did lift a little. But now that he thought through the type of person he was and became, he supposed this kind of family background made some sense. Still, he couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.
That led to the second point. Carnage. It seemed that with such a precedent, bloodshed might not be uncommon.
Chao Zhenyu stood in contemplation.
The courses.
No matter the risk involved, he must find a way to attend them again.
He yawned and stretched his arms, waiting for the servants' voices to dim. After a bit, and to the extent of his patience, Chao Zhenyu turned from the door's entrance, following where Ethel had gone last time. Breakfast could wait.
When he finally arrived at where they parted, Chao Zhenyu paused. The opening was much bigger than he remembered it being, with numerous statues and furniture decorating the room. Behind him was an arch, outlining two large doors. It seemed like this was the main entrance to the mansion.
He looked over where Ethel had left, before leisurely walking towards that direction. And soon enough, he heard the sound of people talking. Chao Zhenyu followed the noise to the source, stopping before an ornate door. Quietly, he rested his head against the surface.
…
Unfortunately, he couldn't hear what they were saying. Chao Zhenyu sighed in disappointment, before returning to a more poised position. Regardless, there was a good chance this was where his mother entertained guests. For it to be so close to the main entrance, this arrangement made the most sense.
And if he was wrong, then he'd just improvise.
Finally, the door opened.
"...Everitt, it was a pleasure–"
"Thank you for your time, Lady Valefor, please reconsider…"
Two men stepped out of the room. Both adorned long capes over their noble attire, and when they saw Chao Zhenyu outside, gave each other a quick look of understanding. Then, they both smiled at him, eyes shaped like crescents in teasing. Laughing, they left without a word of greeting.
Chao Zhenyu frowned. He clenched his fingers and discomfort. Although it wasn't a surprise they recognized him necessarily, the idea of a new unknown outside the mansion, something entirely out of his control, made him restless. Especially when they gave him that look.
"...Zain?"
His mother's voice interrupted his thoughts. Forget it. He'll deal with it later.
The room was much bigger than it seemed on the outside. Polished furniture and luxuries in filled cabinets were the first things he saw. Each opening contained a different object, some of them large cuts of gemstone, others delicate pottery or detailed works of art. On both sides, the symmetrical furnishing led his eyes towards a raised ledge in the middle.
There in the center was a large chair, where her mother sat. Back straight and face forwards, she bore an air of elegance. She held a tea cup in her slender hands, beckoning Chao Zhenyu forward.
To her left stood Ethel. This time, she wore a minimalist hairpin in her bun, encrusted with a single ruby. It complimented the red in her eyes, and when she saw Chao Zhenyu, her eyes subtly lit up. She gave him a teasing look, as if she knew what he was here for.
Unfortunately, she's going to be let down.
Chao Zhenyu's eyes, however, fell onto what lay right of his mother. An aged man he didn't recognize stood nearby, a long cloak covering most of his body. His pale, veiny hand gripped the top of a wooden rod or staff, periodically tapping it with a thin finger. Staring straight ahead, he looked in Chao Zhenyu's direction, but it was as if he was staring past him. As if he wasn't even there. The man's eyes were gray and unfocused. Like the living dead.
Chills ran down Chao Zhenyu's spine.
…Who is that?
"I heard you got sick, young master," Ethel teased. "And by the looks of it, it seems like you still are. Shouldn't you be in bed?"
Chao Zhenyu finally turned to glance at her instead.
"Or… have you come here for something else?"
"Ethel," Everitt softly admonished. She raised her tea cup, which was quickly received by Ethel, who then placed it on a nearby table. "It has been a while since I've come back. Let the young master speak his mind."
Chao Zhenyu paused. When he didn't respond, the robed man thumped his staff. Reverberations rippled across the room, causing Chao Zhenyu to subconsciously take a step back. The sudden intensity caught him off guard; immediately, he turned to glare at the man.
Animosity. At the sides of his own mother, stood two aides that hated him.
Pure, undisguised animosity.
He wanted to say something. He wanted to open his mouth and condemn them, to swear at them, to throw a tantrum and scream and complain, but then he looked at his mother. She didn't mock him, didn't tease him, didn't threaten him, no.
His mother… loved him.
And so Chao Zhenyu couldn't say a word.
"Did something at the auction catch your eye again?" Everitt patiently asked. Despite the glances between the robed man and Ethel, she motioned for Chao Zhenyu to come closer. "Come, tell mother, and I'll buy it for you."
Taking a deep breath, Chao Zhenyu regained his composure. He tilted his head back, and after a moment of hesitation, stepped forwards.
Is this the right thing to do? Is this what I'm supposed to do?
"Come, sit on the armrest."
Like a child. Reduced to a child.
And yet Chao Zhenyu did, locking eyes with his mother the entire time. He tried reading any microexpression, or really any change in expression at all, but her face remained the same. Neutrally warm. As if she really thought it was acceptable for him to sit on her armrest. As if she didn't think this was humiliation. As if she really meant for this to be parental love.
And if so… then I'll humor my mother.
Chao Zhenyu's heart pounded. He couldn't look away from Everitt, not even to glance at the robed man or Ethel's reactions. Rather, embarrassment, hesitation, and subtle anticipation locked his gaze in place, as unmoving as his mother.
"Is it a girl this time?"
"That would be inconvenient," Ethel interjected. "Our servant quarters are already full."
…Servant quarters?
"Then…" Everitt continued, holding Chao Zhenyu's hand. Her touch was warm, and she gently rubbed circles over his palm. "Did someone upset you again?"
Chao Zhenyu glanced to the side. Inwardly, he laughed at the absurdity of that question.
Upset? Sure.
There were so many heads by now he didn't even know which one to mention first. Most of them, he didn't even know their names.
"Mother," He finally answered, clearly enunciating each word. "I want to resume my studies."
The entire room fell into silence. It was as if they were holding their breath. Chao Zhenyu's chest tightened, as he too, waited for a response. The hand that was being held by his mother clammed up, while his other hand clenched into a fist.
He knew she would probably agree. But if she didn't… If she didn't…
Then that feeling of love…
"Oh," Everitt replied, face breaking into a smile. She patted Chao Zhenyu's hand, the latter immediately relaxing in her grasp. "Is it just that? Look at you, so nervous, and for what?"
Everitt turned to the robed man and Ethel, amused, as if showing them how funny she thought the situation was. Chao Zhenyu turned away with a cold face, but his reddened ears betrayed him.
"How come I've never seen you act this way when asking for a girl?" Everitt laughed. The rarity of it even caused the robed man's gray eyes to twinkle. "Ethel, come!"
Ethel immediately left her position and kneeled with one leg before her mistress. Now it was Chao Zhenyu's turn to be amused. He didn't know when, but Ethel's smirk had darkened into a frown. Even though he could probably guess.
"Send an invitation to all the past tutors- No, not Arron… How about this, replace Arron with Sir Hawford for ethics. The rest of them can stay the same."
"Wait."
A deep voice interrupted Ethel's recording. Chao Zhenyu turned towards the source.
The robed man.
"It's indeed rare for the young master to change his mind," The robed man slowly remarked. Each word, like the gritting of chalk on cement. "How about letting this lowly servant teach rhetoric and politics?"
"It seems like your uncle Balsam would like to teach you," Ethel replied. "Very well. Come, child, thank him."
Was it decided just like that?
Chao Zhenyu gazed over this Balsam's solemn face.
It seems like my opinion still doesn't matter.
"...Thank you, then," He carelessly answered. Balsam lowered his head without any further action, as if accepting his reply.
Chao Zhenyu watched as strands of Balsam's long, wiry white hair grazed over his wrinkled skin. Indeed, the shady man looked quite disgusting. He didn't even seem to be that old, probably around the same age as his mother. Yet there was something repulsive about him that aged him in Chao Zhenyu's eyes.
He thought for a bit.
…Ah, it's his appearance.
And with that, after some additional empty chatter, conversations soon began to cease. Ethel's previous, evident joy had long returned back to her just-warm-enough expression. Chao Zhenyu had wanted to see it for a bit longer, but he supposed he was already satisfied. At the very least, he could believe his mother loved him for a bit longer.
Before he turned to leave, his mother left him with a reminder.
"Zain, there's something else you need to tell me before you go. For your coming-of-age ceremony, who would you like to invite?"
…
Coming-of-age ceremony…?
Chao Zhenyu's previous dream-like bubble of a state immediately popped. This was something new. Something he didn't know about, set in stone. If he was lucky, a deadline.
If he wasn't…
"I haven't decided yet," Chao Zhenyu admitted, uncaring exterior hiding his inner nervousness.
Everitt closed her eyes, as if expecting the answer.
"No worries," She replied, reopening them. "It's going to be private then. I'll have your servant send you invitations later. Send them as you like."
And with that, the second ever meeting between mother and new son, was over.
The entire experience could only be described as a rollercoaster. A part of Chao Zhenyu wondered how Zain had lived in this environment. Clearly his mother loved him, perhaps even encouraging him to grow right, and yet…
Everyone else seemed to treat him as if he was worth nothing.
Chao Zhenyu began to walk back to his room, twiddling with the edge of his coat. Am I missing something? He wondered what signs he ignored, or what he could have possibly done differently. The inconsistency, that same damned inconsistency, gnawed at the very core of his bones.
If his mother loved him, and if the servants are all obedient to her, and if all those strangers respected her, then why would they treat him this way?
Chao Zhenyu stiffly exhaled, and traced through his actions.
In the back of his mind, he heard that same question.
"Did someone upset you again?"
Yes, but…
No. He couldn't answer that question then, and he couldn't regret it now. If he did reply, if he did open his mouth, if he did answer that question…
…Would she still love him the same?
"Here you are again, young master. What's up with you lately, standing like one of those decorations in the middle of nowhere?"
Chao Zhenyu blinked. He suddenly felt a growing sense of déjà vu. Ignoring her, he continued to walk past.
"None of your business."
"Funny you say that, considering how most of your actions become my business."
Rolling his eyes, Chao Zhenyu finally acquiesced.
"What do you want, Ethel? Did insulting me before my own mother not bring you enough joy?"
Ethel smiled. Chao Zhenyu regretted replying.
Fuck. Doing this shit really does bring her joy.
"You know, I was going to ask you what made you change so quickly, but now I understand."
Ethel walked closer. Close enough for Chao Zhenyu to feel her breath. She smelled like lavender. As if there were petals right now, stuffed right under Chao Zhenyu's nose.
It was... familiar.
"You're scared," Ethel whispered, poking Chao Zhenyu in the chest.
As if she could feel his heart beating faster.
Suddenly, Chao Zhenyu pushed her shoulders, causing her to fall back. Ethel instantly regained her balance, glaring up at him. But before she could even smirk, Chao Zhenyu stepped towards her, grabbing the collar of her uniform.
"Tell me, Ethel," Chao Zhenyu slowly asked. His heart pounded in his chest, pure adrenaline pumping into his flesh. "What exactly do you understand?"
He was sure that just now, he had wanted to kill her.
"You're scared," Ethel repeated. She wasn't smiling this time, yet she was also unafraid. Instead, it was as if every word uttered between her lips was what she really thought. "You're scared. You're scared of me, of Balsam, of the coming-of-age ceremony, of your own home, of the women you bed, even of your own mother."
Chao Zhenyu stayed silent, gripping the collar tighter.
"You, Zain Valefor, are pathetic."
Like it was simply that. A fact.
If only she knew.
"But don't worry, I'm sure a God will still choose you," Ethel continued. "After all, despite everything, you are still Zain Valefor."
There was a pause as the two of them stared at each other. A rare moment of, not hostility, but rather something he couldn't quite name. And with those words, Chao Zhenyu finally spoke.
"...God?"
"Yes, Control or Conjuring or even Nature… ha. And so many would give their lives to just feel their presence."
Chao Zhenyu frowned. He hadn't expected their conversation to take this turn. With a scoff, he let go of her collar.
"And what do the Gods have to do with me?"
Ethel widened her eyes.
"What do you mean, Zain? Are you actually stupid, or have you finally gone crazy!?"
…Alright. He also hadn't expected this reaction. Luckily enough, it was with Ethel, who probably already thought he was both.
"Well, it doesn't matter," She huffed, turning around to fix her collar. "You'll see at the coming-of-age ceremony anyways. But before then…"
Suddenly, she took out a knife hidden beneath her coat, aiming it at Chao Zhenyu's neck. The blade caused him to stiffen, its sharp edge just barely missing his skin.
"Good luck, young master."
Before she walked away, she paused for a moment.
"Oh, and-"
It seems like she decided to say it.
"Be careful, 'cause unlike me…"
Ethel slightly turned around, half of her face showing that familiar smirk.
"The rest of them don't pity you."