CAINE'S P.O.V
I didn't trust the girl as far as I could throw her.
She had a look in her eyes, one that told me she had seen enough horrors to last a lifetime and no one with that kind of look was ever the same afterwards. She could pretend all she wanted, she could try to act normal but sooner or later, her true colors would show and I just hoped that by then, it wasn't too late for us.
I lay in my bed, my weapons strapped by my side and one under my pillow. It had been a while since I slept with a weapon.
Despite all the bullshit I went through at the bunker, I was safe there. No one was going to walk into my quarters and try to kill me. Even when we slept out when we went foraging for food, I knew the other guards would keep me safe. I still kept a weapon at my side, but nothing like this.
Because of Nadine, I had lowered my guard. I trusted her. I wasn't sure where it started from or how, but I knew that she wouldn't hurt a fly and I had slept vulnerable next to her; there was just something about her that put me at ease, something about her that allowed me to drift into depths of dreamless sleep. It was the reason I didn't let her sleep next to me tonight, I knew I would be too open.
I heard a floorboard creak and I reached for the knife under my pillow.
I heard footsteps, slow and unsure as they made their way towards my room. I stayed perfectly still, waiting for the person to open the door and-
"Caine," Nadine's voice was barely over a whisper. "I hope you aren't asleep. Can I come in?"
I stayed silent.
"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I don't want you to be mad at me."
I should have ignored her, should have let her think I was asleep but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I stood up and made my way over to the door, pulling it open to find her standing there in loose pants and a shirt that was so big, it hung over her shoulder.
Her eyes widened when she took me in. "You're armed. Weren't you asleep?"
"I was."
"You never sleep armed."
"You've never seen me sleep armed," I corrected. "I don't trust that the girl and her brother won't return."
"Her name is Irene and she said she wouldn't."
I snorted as I stepped back for her to walk in. "You trust people too easily. She will betray us the first chance she gets."
"Then why did you agree to help her?"
"Because of you, Nadine. It was a stupid fucking decision and I should have never allowed myself be convinced but I did it for you. What do you want?"
She stared at me in complete shock, as if I had grown two heads. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide. I would have thought she was a statue if it wasn't for her rapid blinking.
"For me?"
I rolled my eyes. "Did I stutter?"
I had no idea why she was so affected by those words but she was. Her cheeks flushed pink and she opened and closed her mouth a few times before clearing her throat.
"I should go."
I grabbed her arm before she could move. "You're already here, why did you come?"
"I wanted to apologize," she managed out but I knew it wasn't the complete truth so I just stared at her until she squirmed. "I couldn't sleep. It is easy to forget just how terrifying it is out here when you are with someone else. You make me feel safe and I couldn't close my eyes alone without seeing them."
Something inside of me snapped at hearing her words.
I had more than enough time to get used to this life. I had grown up on my own anyway and it wasn't a hard adjustment but she- she was nothing like me. I hadn't realized just how hard it was for her.
"Princess-"
"I know it's stupid and I'll just leave-"
I didn't let her finish, I tugged her towards the bed. A small yelp left her lips but she slapped her hands over her mouth to smother it. I lay her gently on the bed before climbing in next to her.
"Sleep, princess," I said simply.
I could feel her surprise and gratitude as she lay beside me. "Are you sure?"
"Don't make me change my mind."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the corner of her lips pull up into a smile. She turned her back to me, curling herself up in a fetal position. I hesitated for a moment before pulling the blankets over her shoulders.
"Thank you," she whispered but I couldn't bring myself to respond. "I have a question."
"Don't make me regret asking you to stay."
I heard her soft laugh.
It was melodious, like a breeze on a warm spring day. I could have sworn the sound wrapped itself around my throat because for a second, I ceased to breathe. I wished I could bottle up the sound and play it over on my worst days. It was the kind of sound that dragged men out of their deepest hells.
"Do I get to call you Rowan now?"
"What?"
"You asked me never to call you by your first name but in the basement you asked me to call you Rowan."
I could see her cheeks rapidly heating and I smothered a laugh of my own. It was amusing how easily she got flustered.
"Seeing as I've hand my fingers in your cunt, I think it's only fair that you get to call me by my first name."
She turned to me with a glare and smacked my chest. "Don't say things like that?"
"Things like what? Cunt? Would you prefer I used the word pussy?"
Her cheeks burned even brighter and she tried to turn from me but I grabbed her chin, forcing her to keep her eyes on me.
"Turning pink and asking me not to say the word isn't going to change the fact that it happened It also won't change the fact that if you gave me the go ahead, it would happen again."
She swallowed deeply and I saw her squirm. It was a subtle move, but it was there and in that moment, I would have given anything to be buried between her thighs but that would have meant being vulnerable in a way I wasn't comfortable with- not tonight at least.
I released her chin. "Go to sleep, Nadine."
"But-"
"Not tonight."
"When?"
"Whenever you have the courage to ask me for exactly what you want."