Chapter 12
Broken Trust
Part 1
It had seemed I had just closed my eyes when Shane was shaking me awake, announcing that Dad was here, and he wanted to talk to all of us. My mother was panicking, wondering if Dad was going to kill us all for speaking to the caseworker and Officer Kenly about all that was going on. Personally, I couldn't blame her. Instead, I gave her a warm smile and told her to keep near the phone if things got out of hand.
When I reached the living room where Dad was waiting, I didn't have to ask about my father or my sisters. I had overheard her tell him that my father had gone to work and took my sisters with him. He simply said that this was a family matter and it would be best if she too left so he could speak to us alone. My mother said not a chance in hell after what he did to us yesterday. She was about to leave until she was assured, he wouldn't harm us because he didn't like the outcome.
Dad shrugged his shoulders and said he had cooled down and had come to make things right, not to harm us, for something that we didn't do that there was enough blame on the table. That it requires a more understanding than punishment, and hoping to find a solution for all of us. My mother took a seat next to me, taking my hand in hers. Dad said he was sorry and feared the worst that his whole family was caught up in this unspeakable evil that Shawn and Danny had been doing.
He didn't mention Arthur mostly likely because he was pushed into it or the fact he was retarded, which was a poor excuse, if any. No one said a word regarding that it had been going on longer than he realized not until we were sure he wasn't going to punish us for it. Dad said he was doing his best to come to terms with it, but knowing his own flesh and blood had been corrupt doing it and now is the ringleader in it, makes it hard for any parent to believe.
Dad started crying when he looked at us, knowing that he should have believed us for the first time. We said nothing. Our trust had been broken. Even though he kept saying how sorry he was for not listening. That now more than ever, we needed to be stronger as a family, not a family divided. When we have endured such love that we could talk about anything, but now it seems we or Mom and him weren't as close as they had thought, or they would have believed us and not be convinced that we were lying and demanding proof. The first thought was the turntable wondering if he would demand that we be placed in it to determine if we were still lying. Like I said our trust had been broken.
My mother said. "And because of that, I too feel I can't trust you with my son's care after what you put all of these boys through. Such a painful procedure, just because you think all of them were doing it. When all along it was your own son and this no-good boy Danny. Hell, I would like to blame you for bringing it into the house in the first place Mr. Rothwell. If I had my way, you would never be allowed to be foster parents."
At first, I thought Dad was going to kill her or slap her for talking to him in such a way. I knew if it was my foster mother he would have, but all Dad did was sit there letting her strike him down word for word about what he had done to cause this mess. When he did speak, he calmly said. "Mrs. Shepherd, my wife and I are so sorry. That if we had the chance to go back and undo it we would. We would have found more boys like your son Eric, not ones ready to enter the prison system.
"Instead, we would have been more selective when came to the crimes they were known for. Yet we cannot go back. All we can do is go forward, but I can assure you we will not make the same mistake again. For now, we will no longer take in foster kids who are bound for prison. Instead, we will help boys like your son become better men and steer them away from trouble."
Mom stood, raising her voice. "These are nothing but words to me, Mr. Rothwell! I want the same promises in writing. I wanted to be stated in the Family Court. I wanted to state on every record that if you go back on your word or promises that you too have as much to lose as I do. If I even think about marking my sons in any way before I even allow my son even near you. I cannot speak for your boys, but I can speak for my sons, and trust me the law is on my side. His caseworker has promised me if I continue on the path I am now on. You will be the last foster home he will ever see, but we both know that right now, you are the best thing he's got to as a real father.
"Oh God, I wish I could say it wasn't true, but I can't, so I am not asking. I am demanding you to swear before God and the courts. That these boys are right here and now that no harm will come to them under your watch. Or so help me. I will pick up that phone and write a hundred letters, exposing everything to the world about what your son Shawn has been doing. That when people look at you like they look at me. They hide their children the moment you walk in the door. Granted, I deserve it, but as God, as my witness, I am not the same mother, and have been given another chance. So, it is only fair that I give you one, but until you can prove to me that nothing like this will happen again, Eric stays with me.
"I'll give you until Friday to decide what you will do, considering these boys will be safe and protected by Bishop Earl and Officer Kenly and the other fathers. That if you so much as break that trust that your life is over, not one person will save you as they burn you at the stake and bury your bones so deep you will never be found. No one will mourn you for letting you bring in such filth that has corrupted your son, Shawn. To the point that he is now a predator that should be locked up. Not seeking treatment, but should be behind bars. To protect your younger boys and other sons from being abused by him.
"Personally, I would like to cut off his penis and sew his ass up so tight that he shits through his mouth and pee through a straw. Yet I too have enough problems of my own that I am not the one to fix yours."
Mom drove the point hard by pressing her finger to his chest and looking him straight in the eye. "Now get out of my house! And don't come back! Until you have a solution and do what I have asked. We live in a small-town Mr. Rothwell, and I can guarantee you all I would have to do is make one phone call and everyone would know before I made the third call to Highland that your son Shawn is a pedophile, and you have been letting it go on for years. You'll be lucky if you made it home in one piece before they nailed you and him to a cross."
Mom opened the door and waited for him to leave. My foster Dad stood and walked out the door turned around before my mother closed it said one last time, he was sorry. No one said a word as my mother slammed the door shut as we watched her shake as she slid down the floor shaking. I was too, considering my mother had just taken on the biggest giant and won. I knew my father would be angry when he found a check that would make you gasp when she took us all out for breakfast or in our case brunch. Mom refused mine and Shane's money to help split the cost, but Mom refused and said we were her responsibility, and she would be a poor mother if she didn't make sure we had enough to eat.
By the time we got back, my foster Dad was sitting in the driveway with Officer Kenly and my caseworker. Doing exactly what my mother suggested and had just finished his own contract, which stated if I was harmed by him, my foster Mom, other than being punished for bad behavior. Yet most importantly his sons Shawn and Danny, they would give up custody of me to my mother.
Considering I would be eighteen in less than two and a half years. Stated that Shawn and Danny would be sent to Juvenile Hall until their eighteenth birthday and could face prison if they still were considered pedophiles, he also signed a contract regarding Jason and Jared would be given treatment for the abuse they had endured. Stating if Shawn or Danny touched them in any way that too would send them to Juivey as well as place both of them into foster care, my caseworker adding if either possibility happened it would terminate their rights to be foster parents.
Dad signed the contract and said by the time he got back to join us on the father's son's camp-out he'd have my foster Mom's signature as well. This surprised us, but Officer Kenly and my caseworker said he better have a plan in place before they would return me to him. Dad said he was thinking of adding cameras in each of the boy's rooms and throughout the property, to catch them in the act if anything like this ever happened again. To prove that we were innocent of such crimes but weren't sure how the law would feel about it as it records of family and friends because of the privacy act. Lockers and nanny cams are one thing. This was something different.
Officer Kenly said in cases like these. The law would require them as a fail-safe. but be warned if it happened and he erased any footage that showed it happening. The previous contract would bind him, and he could face prison as well. Stating, the State Police and a signed Judge of Family Court would view every tape without warning and would know if the feed was interrupted by a stamped time and date to make sure every tape was in order.
My caseworker said until he could have them installed by an order of the court and by a signed professional contractor to do it. I would remain with my mother. Dad didn't like the idea. Neither did I, because that could take weeks knowing how fast the courts moved. Dad wanted assurances that my father couldn't harm me.
My mother may have signed a contract, but my father hasn't and refuses to and has stated on several occasions. He would prefer me dead, in jail, or in some foster home. He didn't care where I was as long as I was just gone and the same went for my brother Aaron. Both would not happen according to my mother and grandmother, and neither was finding the Downings taking both me and Aaron in. My grandmother could live with that decision, but my mother wouldn't. It was either the Rothwells or her, no more foster homes and certainly not home for boys. Too bad nobody asked
Me what I wanted, but it wouldn't have been a hard decision. I would have chosen the Downings, but right now the only option that anyone could agree on was the Rothwells.
There was nothing more they could do to assure me my father couldn't harm me. I had places I could go that would ensure my safety. My room was a fortress. I had a watch that knew where I was every second. As well as it had a trigger that could be activated to alert me that I was in trouble, and most of all I was capable of protecting myself against either my father or my mother until help arrived. Other than wrapping me up in bubble wrap there was nothing more they could do. Neither Dad nor I said anything about the fail-safe of the drug that could limit the effects of a tranquilizer. It was one promise I intended to keep even from Shane.
The fact that Dad was coming with us only stated he was trying to earn that trust back, besides the bad boys were locked up behind bars where they couldn't do any harm to anyone, which freed Dad to reconcile our trust. I was still a little worried, but Mom was right. I couldn't be any safer with Officer Kenly and Bishop Earl watching over me and my brothers. Dad would have to be stupid to try something. Even more so having signed a contract that he could lose just as much as my mother, but that contract had to be stamped and in the court's hands by the time Dad joined us and notarized.
Dad wasted no time after getting the direction that fathers and Sons were being held at our favorite spot, where we had been several times before. All he needed was a change of clothes and his sleeping bag. Considering Shane still had our tent and Jared and Jason's tent, we just needed fresh ice for the cooler and more sodas and snacks to put in our small battery-operated fridge, which had now been recharged.
There was nothing left for us to do besides restocking our cooler and packing our suitcases and in my case just an overnight bag. Considering I wouldn't be going back home when the camp-out ended. Not that I had brought anything with me besides a pair of shorts even those had been washed. I had no doubt if we went naked nobody would care, considering it was just boys and their fathers, but let's be practical we weren't going to a nudist resort or beach. Which I had fond memories of going to with the Rothwells a time or two for a family vacation. But now it made me sick to think about what was going through the bad boy's minds when they saw a naked woman or man or worse another child.
The idea of them seeing me or my family naked makes me want to hurl or better yet cut off their penis and feed it to them. Now I had a new image of what else they were doing as I sat there on this doughnut pillow taking my last painkiller and packing laxatives to help prevent pain while I use the bathroom. I could almost hear Shawn and his two lowlifes moaning as they rape each other repeatedly. I personally can understand Dad's feelings that make your skin crawl. Just the idea of having someone's penis up your ass makes me want to sew it up tight and crawl back inside my Eskimo suit. Just so they couldn't get a hard-on when they looked at me. Yet I will be damned if I let them destroy or taint the beauty of God's work or let them destroy the closeness of the family we have built, just so they can feel they have a right to.
I had decided not to let them enter my mind anymore, and I knew it was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done, but I needed to so I prayed that God would help me, even though I didn't think he was listening. I wasn't sure if a blessing would help, but I had learned an important lesson. The only stupid questions are the ones you don't ask. Shane agreed with me we should ask Bishop Earl and Officer Kenly to give us all a blessing the second we arrived at camp. Shane was prepared, even though I wasn't. Opening the glove box and placed a bottle of consecrated oil into his pocket. Telling me he never leaves home without it. I wondered if Dad had some as well inside his car, but I had no doubt that my father had not one single drop of it in the house. He may clean a church house for a living, but when it comes to family and God, he wasn't a believer.
We had arrived early after several hugs and kisses from my mother and promising to be good before she would even let us out of the house. Shane and my foster brothers took it in stride and let my mother shower them with affection. It made me miss my foster Mom, wondering what was going through her head and whether would she agree to the contract. Shane asked me for a penny for my thoughts. I smiled and said: "I was just thinking about Mom."
Shane said. "I am sure there are going to be words, but in the end, she would agree with Dad if she hadn't already." I knew he was right, but still didn't make me feel any better. Even if she loved us all, she would have a lot to lose.
I didn't like the idea of Jared and Jason being put in the system, but neither could I prevent it. The other thought I had was if that happened, she and Dad would lose not only their family but also their meal ticket. Maybe if Jason and Jared were lucky, they move in with Kerry and her husband… Jody is what I didn't know, but most likely she stays at home or goes with her brothers. Time will tell and I feared that fate was hanging me and my family that l loved out to dry.