Chapter 15-1
Trouble Times
Part 2
By the time we were ready to leave it was almost 10 am. All I could say is even though we rose early we were still running late, too, when we wanted to be there; hoping to set up our tents in the day's coolness instead of the heat of the day already on our backs. I knew God or fate hated us the moment we arrived. Instead of a splendid view of trees and a pond where we had so many great family memories. It was our worst nightmare that waited for us. Someone had vandalized our spot.
The worst was the dead animals floating in the pond. What fish there were are now floating dead upon the surface and several dead livestock with portions of their gorging bodies lay in and out of the water. Everywhere you look is death and destruction. The recently built tables and bathroom now burned and left to an empty shell, smashed white porcelain scattered across the camp as if someone had taken a shotgun and used it as target practice. The once-used tire swing dangling a sheep's carcass.
Graffiti on the walls of what was left of the bathroom with the letters L C & Others were here. With a satanic symbol on the walls and a large one, spray painted on the ground with several black candles burned down to their nub. It would take months, if not years to restore this place back to the beauty it once held. Bishop Earl's wife shields the younger boys from the carnage walking them further down the road.
The smell was so powerful that it made you want to vomit, but all we could do was stare, wondering who had done this and why. It was Shane who found a letter addressed to us, which said Rothwell and Guests, stapled to a long-burned post near the tire swing. Inside a zip-lock bag. It read. Payback for your sins against Danny, Shawn and Arthur, and others you have abused and alienated; payback for sins against God and his church, with the letters all pasted with newspaper; and signed by L.C & Others.
It was quite clear who was responsible and only one name came to mind. The letter C stood for Crawford. Bishop Earl grabbed some paper towels and took the edges of the letter and slowly put it back inside the zip-lock bag. Carefully removed it from the post, then folded it inside a bath towel, putting it inside his car. Our day was ruined as we turned around and headed back to Bishop Earl's home. We had just come out of the canyon when Officer Kenly pulled us over. Telling Bishop Earl that we needed to call my foster parents urgently. Something happened at home. He didn't say what, just said that the State Police were on their way and we needed to wait until they got here.
When we arrived, Shane called Dad at the number he was given. When he heard the news his face went completely white. The first question on our minds was Jody. When he hung up the phone, he slumped into a chair. It was a long moment before he spoke. When he did, he asked the Bishop's wife to take the younger boys for a walk. That alone told me it was bad news, really bad news. He waited until they were far enough out of earshot and quickly placed his arm around my shoulders. The first thing he said was Jody was fine, but she too was broken up and in shock to hear what had happened.
We all sighed with relief but then asked what happened if Jody was fine. Shane slowly exhaled and looked out the window for the longest time. He said. All of our farm animals have been slaughtered in the most grotesque ways a person could think of. The only ones saved were the horses since Dad had taken them up to our employer to be taken care of while we were away from home. Some of the animals are missing and for the moment we don't know if they are dead or alive, but a note was found the same note we had just found at our camp and the same satanic symbol.
My body shook with anger, and before the words actually hit me. My animal friends had been slaughtered because of me, because of our family, because of what Danny and his two friends had done to my sister Jody. I asked. "Are you sure, Shane?" Shane told me that the note was signed the same way L. C. & Others.
His news shocked us all to the core. I was too angry to cry over my lost friends. I wanted blood; I wanted revenge. It was nearly an hour before the State Police arrived at our door. Dad was right behind them as he pulled into the driveway. The first thing I did was break down and sob, blaming myself for not being there to protect them like I wasn't there to protect Jody. For some reason, God and fate hated me and I didn't know why.
Bishop Earl handed over the same letter to the State Police after taking a picture of it. Adding to the pictures he had taken of our once favored campground now spoiled forever. Yet the bad news kept coming as Dad held me against him as I shook with anger and sadness for all that had been done.
Dad's face contorted with worry as he surveyed the scene, hoping to dismiss it as a mere act of mindless destruction. But as the realization dawned on us, the air grew heavy with the stench of vengeance. The letters, meticulously arranged, spoke volumes about the sinister motive behind this act. Holding Shane and me tightly, Dad's trembling hands conveyed a mix of fear and protectiveness.
Initially, a sense of confusion had enveloped the farm when the open gate hinted at the escape of our beloved animals. But the discovery of their mutilated bodies at our employer's pond shattered any hope of a simple explanation. The sight of their lifeless forms, tinged with the acrid smell of death, left an indelible mark on our senses.
Our employer's anger reverberated through the air, his voice sharp and accusatory, as he demanded answers for the desecration of his private property. The weight of his blame now hung over us, threatening to crush our livelihoods. The looming threat of criminal charges further heightened the tension in the atmosphere, making every breath feel suffocating.
The only reason the State Police were here was to take our statements and prove we had nothing to do with it. When they heard about the campsite, they immediately sent someone up there to verify if it was the same as the other two. Officer Kenly was told to place roadblocks on both sides of the canyon that lead to the site as well as call the fish and Game and wildlife to take care of the dead animals once the scene was processed. Either way, our camping trip was over or postponed indefinitely.
It was Wednesday when we were allowed to return to the Rothwell home, Shane did his best to console me when we pulled into the driveway, but my eyes never left the satanic Symbol spray painted on the side of our small barn, or the many swear words that listed underneath with a long list of the crimes that had said we committed. The air was ranked even though the dead animals had been taken away and disposed of. Our field was empty of horses that ran free; I was glad that at least they were spared because of Dad's hindsight, or they too would have been killed and their heads on pikes like the others at other sites.
Only two people knew where those sites were and none of them were among our group. I growled inside the names, feeling betrayed and angry that they would brutally do this when it was they who had committed all the crimes that they were accusing us of.
No one said their names out loud, but we all knew it was Shawn and Danny, we would like to add Arthur's name, but he couldn't find directions out of a paper bag, being he is retarded and needed help sometimes just to find his classes at school. Hell, he could barely tie his shoes and had to remind him before he tripped over his laces. My mother squeezed my shoulders and wanted to be here to help put our lives back together.
I was glad that we had left Aaron and my two younger brothers with the Kenly's; even more so when Dad opened the front door, smelling such a foul odor that made you want to vomit in the bushes. Even with police tape and the house being watched inside the house was vandalized. Our nice furniture was ripped and defiled with human waste, and many items were broken beyond repair, like lamps and the piano that I have sat countless hours practicing.
Pictures ripped and torn or smashed on the floor; several windows were broken; everywhere you looked there was something you would wish you never saw. Several times, we all had to go outside and get some fresh air. Dad tried to make us all feel better and said with some elbow grease everything would be as good as new, but even he didn't believe it. I knew it was going to take more than elbow grease; it was going to take money. Dad said he was glad that his homeowner's insurance was paid up, hoping to make it sound like a joke, but nobody was laughing.
It would be days, if not months, before we would be able to actually live in the house. I was only glad that my foster Mom and Jody weren't here to see it. After a quick tour of the property, which I only limited myself to the house and the front yard. There was no way was I ready to see the barn even though there were no animals there. I didn't want to see the wall painted with their blood.
It was two hours later when Dad's insurance agent arrived to inspect the property, while the rest of us waited outside on the lawn; having to move to the garage because of the smell either coming out of the house or from the barn. Even there was vandalism and spray paint with several more swear words. All I could think about was this was some welcome home. Even worse, knowing Shane would be leaving in two days' time and there was nothing I could do about it, it was what it was. It wasn't long before we heard several cars and trucks pull into the driveway. Shane ran inside to grab Dad to let him know that help had just arrived. Brother Niles and Acting Bishop Sakes were in the lead with several boys and their fathers ready to roll up their sleeves.
Dad and us had tears in our eyes seeing all the help and our friends coming to help us in our time of need. We thought our arms were going to fall off after shaking so many hands. Dad had to sit down as he looked at the long line of cars and trucks that were lined up clear around the corner and beyond. Dad knew better than to say no. He was in so much shock he didn't realize. That the insurance agent had given him a check to get started. Having to repeat to Shane that this was just enough money to tie him over and he'll start processing the claim with another check for all damages in two weeks. To tells his Dad to keep the receipts of everything that he purchases for the repair of the home, food, and clothing as well.
By 8 pm, the house was completely emptied. All the things out on the front and back lawn were being sorted what could be saved and what needed to be hauled away to the dump. The house didn't smell as bad as it did when we first arrived, now that it was empty. Most of the people had gone home telling Dad and us to get a good night's sleep. Some offered places to stay if they needed one, shaking our hands. I wasn't sure where I belonged.
When Mom said there was no reason to go home when we were needed right here, if she and I needed to put up a tent and call it home, she would do so. She only made one phone call to check on my brothers. Brother Niles opened his house to us, putting me in the same bedroom that he had on numerous occasions with Shane on the floor next to me. Mom was in the next room beside me, and Dad had a nice comfortable couch. After a hot bath and a full belly, it was beginning to feel like home.
By the time we had a hot breakfast, cars, and trucks were finding spaces to park as boys and their fathers dressed in overalls and shorts. If my father was here, he would say look at all the immorality, as many of the boys and fathers were shirtless and in shorts. Boys pushing lawnmowers and carrying rakes and shovels, fathers with paint rollers and tool belts around their waists. Yelling to us to stop dawdling we have work to do; a truck with paint and sheetrock and two more trucks ready to haul the garbage away; Acting Bishop Sakes setting up a command post right in the middle of our driveway.
Dad and I wasted no time quickly changing into some work clothes and joined them to help put back our home that was once was a thing of beauty, something to be proud of. The women folk set up a large mess hall for everyone as we worked around the clock to fix what was broken. By nightfall, the graffiti was gone, and the house glistened with new paint. The yard was mowed and raked; the windows glistened now instead of broken. The house smelled of fresh paint in every room. It echoed in our footsteps as we walked the house; it seemed strange seeing the house without its pristine carpet. Yet that too would be a passing memory by morning.
Dad had told us not to tell Mom, wanting it to be a surprise. Yet all I could think about was Shane leaving us tomorrow and Jody and what Danny and his friends did to her. I still wanted my revenge. If I could, I would re-break every bone in his body and skin him alive, and repeat the process with his two friends as I bathe in their blood. All I know because of them our lives are forever changed.
The very next morning known as D-day, the day that all of us were dreading, Dad had returned with Mom, while I and my mother went home to change into my Sunday clothes and we were to meet back at the house by noon for one final dinner as a family before Shane went to the MTC later that afternoon. No one was allowed in the house while the new floors were being put in. I had called my caseworker and updated her on our progress, asking to postpone her visit until Saturday.
Jody was the only one who wouldn't be with us to see all our hard work. Being home would only bring back the horror of what had happened. Personally, I couldn't blame her and knew exactly how she felt. Either way, we would all miss her not seeing the house, but she would be there for our family dinner at the Golden Corral the only real restaurant in an American fork at the time, as well as when Shane enters the MTC.
I was on pins and needles as my three brothers sat in the back seat, their suitcases safely nestled in the trunk; I hated goodbyes even though it was a quick goodbye until Dad and Mom were given permission to have me home again. It was Shane's goodbye I was concerned about, knowing once he entered the MTC that would be most likely the last time I would see him other than in front of the judge to clear our names. When we pulled into the driveway as we passed the freshly painted barn was now empty and now a reminder of what had happened. I was still angry; I knew if I ever saw any of them again they would be lucky they lived. I am sure I am not the only one that felt that way.
Even though the house was basically empty, it looked great. My foster Mom was in tears quickly, noticing the things that made it home were missing. No one noticed the cameras were gone. The only ones that were still in the home were the ones in the basements and Shawn's and my room. I didn't even bother to go down to the basement. All I had to do was open the door without noticing them. Dad knew I was terrified of the basement more so knowing what had taken place down there. It would be at least a week before Dad and Mom could buy enough furniture to make it a home again if that was even possible. So, all that was left was to say goodbye. Knowing when I came home next, Shane wouldn't be here to greet me.
I had lost my appetite as the time ticked down to that final goodbye. Everyone tried their best to stay positive for Jody, but all I could think about was all the memories that would now end. It was worse as I looked around the table at the faces of once a large family now grown and all going their separate ways. I felt I was an outsider not sure where I belonged. It was Shane that startled me when he put his arms around my shoulders. The first one like always knowing something was wrong. When he leaned my head on his shoulder, I cried, feeling all alone in the world.
Nobody asked why I was crying. They simply understood I was losing my best friend. Because he had grown up and it was time for him to leave the nest and I was the only one left going nowhere, I really didn't have a home anymore, not really. Everything I had was now broken and it can't be fixed unless you can turn back time. When I was done, I stood up and left, saying I needed some time by myself. I didn't ask permission. I just left the table and quickly went outside.
My foster parents weren't worried that I would run away as they watched me walk down the street. I loved the city of Highland; I loved the mountains so green and majestic. I loved the sun on my back, but today I hated the very sight of it because now it would always be a reminder of what I had lost.
Like always, Shane and Kerry would find me first even if that was a reminder of what I had or was about to lose. I knew after today nobody would come because they had moved on and I was alone. But I knew even if I wanted to, I could never stop the clock. I knew I needed to pull myself together, but how? When was the world I knew was falling apart around me? I stood the second where they were near. All I said was, "It's time, isn't it?" Shane nodded his head as they both put their arms around me and walked me back. Nobody said a word, not even my mother even though she had tears in her eyes; she knew what I was going through. I simply got in the car with my brother Aaron and the tears started all over again.
When we arrived at the MTC, I didn't want to get out of the car, but I forced myself. Each step I took seemed heavy as I watched my brother Shane walk in. When we reached where we would have to part, he hugged me as hard as he could. When he let go, I ran as fast as I could out the door, leaving him and the world behind. I felt like a coward unable to face the world on my own terms. It was when everyone had a chance to say goodbye. I knew my world would never be the same again.
When my mother and Aaron got in the car, Mom put her arms around me and squeezed me tight against her. I closed my eyes, wishing things were the same, hoping I could stop the world from changing. Pa's words still echoed in my mind. 'Son, you cannot stop change. We are born we live, and we learn, and we grow. If we stop changing, we will not grow, and we will not learn when that happens. Life just isn't worth living. We need to change to experience life; without it, we are nothing but the dust.'
I would say "But Pa it hurts to change," he would hug me and tell me "Son, those are just growing pains, and everyone has them."